Can you defend yourself?

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likalaruku

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Nov 29, 2008
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I'd like to think I could, but unless someone breaks into my house & we struggle, I'll never know. Odds are in my favor if he's either not using a gun or I can shame his masculinity for using one on a girl armed with a ceramic knife. My other defenses are bluffing, devaluing items someone might want to steal for profit, threats of cannibalism, & hiker's legs. On the down side, when my body says "hey, let's produce more adrenaline now" it's response is "Nope, let's make more fatigue & lethargy instead."

Will a bullet pierce of ricochet off a thick cast iron skillet?
 

Souplex

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Jul 29, 2008
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No man is a match for Souplex.
"But wait!" you might say, "Isn't Souplex a match for Souplex?"
To which I'd point out that Souplex is no mere man.
 

xmbts

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I like to think I could but if someone hits me hard enough in the stomach or chest I'm likely to be in need of immediate medical assistance to avoid dying.
 

Ghaleon640

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Jan 13, 2011
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Nope. I wouldn't say I'm out of shape, but anyone that would pick a fight with me probably would have the advantage.
 

crispskittlez

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Jan 14, 2010
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I can't defend myself worth a moldy orange. Had I not convinced a man who tried to mug me to flip a coin over whether or not he's go through with it, I'd be down a terrible mp3 player that was too old to be worth anything.
 

notyouraveragejoe

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Nov 8, 2008
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I only just started doing kick boxing so that wouldn't be useful. On the other hand I know how to fight dirty so that might help. On the final hand the simplest way I'd defend myself would be by running away very quickly. Or going to my happy place until they stop hurting me.
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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White Lightning said:
Eclectic Dreck said:
White Lightning said:
Yes. The answer to this (and most questions in life) is Guns.
I carry a Glock 30 with 31 rounds on my person. If surrounded, that would insufficient I think should they press their attack from close range. Should they press the attack from a single direction without pausing to consider the relatively large chunks of lead thrown their way, I could reasonably expect to halt perhaps two of them before being overwhelmed.

So, given the odds of five to 1, if I could not employ my weapon to achieve a quick exit to the scenario, I don't think there is a possibility of exit.
Well you see the problem in this scenario is that you don't have enough Guns. You should consider getting more just incase you are ever in this situation.
It isn't a problem of carrying sufficient guns or bullets. 31 .45 ACP rounds are sufficient to halt five people. A single magazine is likely sufficient and I carry three.

The problem is that without an avenue of retreat or some assurance that I was dealing with rational creatures there is no way I could actually apply those bullets to said targets before being overrun. In the span of time it takes an adult to rush across 7 meters, I could engage, at best, two targets with two rounds of which only one of four could truly be said to be aimed. Firing as fast as possible I could perhaps fire 6 or 8 rounds.

If the people in question have little regard for the terrible damage a heavy hollow point round can do, and there is no avenue to retreat, then simply put no one person can reasonably engage and neutralize before being overwhelmed regardless of which firearm they might have.
 

MeChaNiZ3D

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Aug 30, 2011
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...I don't care how much martial arts you do, if you're surrounded by 5 guys and you can't do a fatal spinning kick that fractures all of their skulls in a couple of seconds you gtfo. I can't defend myself against 5 guys, but I like to think I would be able to uppercut one and push past. Then I'd be running.

I can defend myself against 2 guys, 3 in the open is pushing it even if they're all untrained. If one has a weapon, forget it, unless it's a stick or I can get it off them. I've taken 3 on a train once, but really that's it. Forget 5.

EDIT: Also, Australia, no guns. :/
 

Loonyyy

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Jul 10, 2009
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I've previously done Taekwondo, almost got my black belt, but when it comes to practically applying it, I'm not so good. I'd probably follow my instructors advice-break something and run. People tend to think twice when you break a kneecap, elbow, or poke an eye. And that gives you time to run like a crazy person. If, you know, they didn't overwhelm you and leave you bleeding and battered.
 

RobfromtheGulag

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May 18, 2010
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Parkour -- run for it. This works even better if they're a bunch of beefcakes who never do cardio.

This logic is obviously flawed if I have to protect someone, but this is the 20th century, equal rights and all that; protect your own damn self. If it's a kid I can probably carry them or get them to run first.
 

___________________

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May 20, 2009
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5? I only know one martial art that lets you deal with those numbers without being injured (only if you're good enough), but we're not allowed to carry japanese sabers around unless we use a sword bag. I think they'd kill me before I could even take it out of the bag. The police say it's an exageration to use such a weapon for self defense even if your life is at risk and you have the license to carry it.

So I wouldn't be able to defend myself against 5 people who wanted to attack me for whatever twisted reason they'd come up with at the time. I guess I'd just try my best to defend myself until they knocked me unconscious or until they got bored with using me as a punching bag.
 

Krantos

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1 on 1, I think I'd stand a chance. Perhaps even 1 on 2 if they didn't know me at all.

See, I have studied Tae Kwon Do and Nihon Jujitsu, but I don't look like much. I think someone would probably underestimate me which would allow me to put them down.

However, I'm not terribly strong, so if they don't underestimate me, and I'm forced into a straight up fight, I'd probably lose.

5 on 1, pffft! There are maybe couple dozen people in the world that I think could successfully take on 5 people.

I know a guy (whom I met while studying Jujitsu) who was a black belt in Arnis and Akido. He got into a 3 vs 1 fight once. He broke one guy's ribs and dislocated another guy's shoulder. And then got knocked out from behind by the 3rd guy. And this took place in about 5-10 secs.

1 vs 5 fights only work out for the 1 in fiction.
 

Marcus Kehoe

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Mar 18, 2011
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I'm a bit of a pacifist, but I know I am fully capable of defending myself. I've fought 5 v 1 before, rather wrestled, and unless one or more of them is bigger in terms of muscle I fell I would knock at least one of them out if not be able to defend myself.

I mean unless they are all some people with some fighting experience nothing they could throw at me could really take me out. And I'm not talking about them being in a fight, I'm talking about them actually in some way for a period of time training for fighting then I would be in trouble. But unless that I would more than likely have more training and actually be able to hurt them.
 

Stu35

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Aug 1, 2011
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I love how nearly everyone on the internet backs themselves in a fight without any knowledge of who they'd be fighting.

I also love how most are willing to at least partly back themselves against two people.


I love even MORE how so many people have studied "martial art X" for "X" years, and therfore know how to handle themselves.

This is my closing point [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-signs-that-someone-isnt-actually-badass/]
 

beyondbrainmatter

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Dec 7, 2010
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Funny how people mention running, but if five guys are really out for your blood, they will come after you. And once you start running, you've triggered their fight and your fright response.
 

Acton Hank

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Nov 19, 2009
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Rastien said:
excalipoor said:
Rastien said:
1v1 all escapists would win and how! we are brutally hardened battle warriors! adept at daring acts of combat and showman ship!.
The Escapist 30-Man Battle Royal! Now there's one for the books. Make it happen!
It would the greatest shit storm the world has ever seen.

Oh hell yeah! Sign me up!
 

Malty Milk Whistle

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Oct 29, 2011
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SomeLameStuff said:
Against one guy? I can manage. Two guys? Eeeeh... maybe. Three and up? Start running!
Pretty much this, but on two guys I'd peg it...
OP, I'm fairly certain that anyone would get their asses handed to them by 5 guys.
Still, If my assailant was unarmed, I'm fairly certain I could get out of it without need for medical attention, whether it be by a mean right hook or simply legging it down an alley.