can zombies actually exist?

[Takuanuva]

Half-rotten-style zombie? No way. Just-a-crazy-person zombie?
...mmmmaybe.
The main problem with the zombies is, that if you want them to work, you need their bodies to have energy- thus zombies have to eat, breathe, have a heartbeat... Realistic zombie is just a normal human who turned crazy and started to eat people. They could easily die due to bleeding, radiation, poison, suffocating... Plus, why won't zombies ever eat each other?

 

[thiosk]

I've thought about this sort of thing as well. Actual human-based zombies aren't really likely, but who knows what we'll find in the cosmos?

 

[2733]

Ressurected zombies? No...

Viral "zombies" (see 28 days)? Probably.

Interesting how you say "space radiation"... which is to say "a bit retarded".

But i do like your point about how a zombie would function movement wise. Its not neccessarily impossible to burn glycogen without oxygen, i think it's known as anaerobic respiration, in fact i think we can do it as humans. The only problem is, it's not sustainable, as it builds up lactic acid, which also needs oxygen to deplete it. So, you COULD have zombies that move anearobically, it's just they would be shit.

It might be possible to induce contractions of the heart and lungs using electrical signals. Think pacemaker, but hooked up to the diaphragm and intercostal muscles as well as the heart (get me, being a smart-arse with my fancy biological terminology). Again, possibly feasable, but overly complicated and probably expensive. Also, it's stupid: who would WANT to make zombies? Don't answer that.

Over all, i reckon a viral or bacterial infection is the way to go. Sure they aren't REALLY zombies, but they're the closest you're going to get.

haven't you ever seen the original 1968 "Night of The Living Dead"? the zombies are raised by space radiation from Venus.

I looked it up and you are correct on the burning of glycogen, and in that they would go down long before they would ever get a brain sandwich.

 

[Von Strimmer]

They do exist. It's called the Australian Labor party.
/rimshot

 

[2733]

Hasn't Cracked done a few articles on this? I remember one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen and one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Would be Doomed to Failure. So you have that.

Actually, here's the links.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

I don't know who the folks at Cracked are, but they always have an article on what I'm thinking about. If they put out an article on whether or not Cthulhu could beat superman, I will know that they are somehow getting a hold of the stuff I think about when bored.

 

[WolfThomas]

Classic zombies no, but stuff like 28days later or Crossed could work on paper, there are virus and parasites like rabies and toxoplamosis that alter how animals act. Only they're more scary than classic zombies too.

 

[kouriichi]

Yes. There are viruses that can control a creature. Like the kind that control caterpillars.

Of course, 99% of them would be extremely slow, have almost no cognitive ability, and be pushed by the single idea of "MUST SPREAD DISEASE" instead of "MUST DEVOUR FLESH".

Zombies are actually one of the most realistic scifi things that could happen.

But one thing about it, is how easy it would actually be to survive. Zombies would still rot, decompose and breakdown, like every other thing on this planet. Hiding in a cold place in the far north, or a hot place like Africa or Nevada would almost guarantee your survival, because the cold weather would free and kill the zombie and the virus/parasite controlling it, and the hot weather would literally cook it to death. The only reason humans can live in these places is because we dont spend 24 hours a day in the elements.

Even if your not in one of those areas, if you could hide in your closet for 2-3 weeks, youd be perfectly fine. The zombies would be more then degraded. Chances are they would just be heaps of rot and flies.

Hell, even being bit once probably wouldnt up and kill you. Theres a good chance your body would be able to fight off the virus. As long as you were in decent health, youd be perfectly fine. Sure, it also matters where you get bit, and how deep the bite is, but if your just knicked, or they barely break the skin, you should live. Clean, disinfect, and properly bandage the area, pop a few vitamin pills and tie the limb off alittle, and you'll be fine.

 

[Amy Sorel]

No. The undead creatures who died and came back they can't exist for biological reasons...

But like said before me, the idea of a virus that turns people into psychotics or whatever, IS a possibility.

This is why any zombie or vampire movie today set in a modern setting should go for virus for zombies, and mutation for vampires. Creatures living on blood or pure meat diet can exist, and scientists are currently trying to find ways to stop the aging process through genetics.

Let's say scientists do find a way to prevent people from aging. With a little imagination you could skip a few chapters and they can use the DNA of a vampire bat to create a human being feeding on blood who doesn't age past 25 or 30.


Making someone explode in sunlight would be a harder trick.

 

[Saltyk]

Hasn't Cracked done a few articles on this? I remember one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen and one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Would be Doomed to Failure. So you have that.

Actually, here's the links.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

I don't know who the folks at Cracked are, but they always have an article on what I'm thinking about. If they put out an article on whether or not Cthulhu could beat superman, I will know that they are somehow getting a hold of the stuff I think about when bored.

I'm pretty sure they use a device similar to the one Riddler used in that horrible Batman: Forever movie. As for Superman vs Cthulhu, we all know Goku would beat them both. So, that's that.

 

[Rocksa]

Ressurected zombies? No...

Viral "zombies" (see 28 days)? Probably.

Interesting how you say "space radiation"... which is to say "a bit retarded".

But i do like your point about how a zombie would function movement wise. Its not neccessarily impossible to burn glycogen without oxygen, i think it's known as anaerobic respiration, in fact i think we can do it as humans. The only problem is, it's not sustainable, as it builds up lactic acid, which also needs oxygen to deplete it. So, you COULD have zombies that move anearobically, it's just they would be shit.

It might be possible to induce contractions of the heart and lungs using electrical signals. Think pacemaker, but hooked up to the diaphragm and intercostal muscles as well as the heart (get me, being a smart-arse with my fancy biological terminology). Again, possibly feasable, but overly complicated and probably expensive. Also, it's stupid: who would WANT to make zombies? Don't answer that.

Over all, i reckon a viral or bacterial infection is the way to go. Sure they aren't REALLY zombies, but they're the closest you're going to get.

Who would want to make zombies? Super-villains! Think a relatively cheap workforce and tireless defense force that is too stupid to complain or attempt to overthrow you. Yeah, definitely a super-villain thing.

Actually, (at the risk of sounding like the ignorant conspiracy theory nut) we have quite a number of bio-research teams around the globe working to weaponize stuff like this. Think that the Cracked article linked up there actually mentions some of the stuff they're working with to that end, most notably some variations of mad-cow and some weird parasites.

Anyway.

The whole living dead type of zombie is pretty unlikely, but could still be semi-possible, just...eh, it'd probably take some nanites to pull off, and at that point you're basically looking at what are basically just really odd cyborgs. Clusters of nanites taking over necessary biological functions, shutting down others, loose nanites flowing through the blood system to keep muscles working and oxygenated. Still, they'd be less zombies and more self-replicating cyborgs there.

Viral zombies on the other hand are much more likely, but these still wouldn't be much the zombies we know, I mean, for example, the rage zombies from 28 Days Later didn't have a reason to not attack eachother, and the ones from Zombieland (super madcow btw) should have been attacking and eating one another left and right. So, while we could have some viral zombies, they'd just end up taking themselves out.

However.

Parasitic zombies on the other hand could potentially work just like the living dead we all know and love, especially if this (hopefully) new parasite has a life cycle that requires a non-infected living human host to complete. Nature's full of freaking terrifying ones that infect a host and take over their actions in various ways, like the fungus that infects ants, replace all non-vital soft tissue, take over it's brain, and moves the ants body to a suitable spot for the fungus to thrive. Then we have that wasp that lays it's eggs within catapillers, the larva eat what they need of the bugs insides, and then some of them burst forth from the catapiller like Alien, while the rest remain inside the bug and move it around like a grim puppet to protect their brothers and sisters outside.

 

[justnotcricket]

I suppose you might be able to effectively create a zombie by doing some very specific damage to a person's frontal lobe? I'm not sure we know quite enough about that yet, though =P

 

[Jessta]

Depends on the type of zombie dude. Also, why would being a zombie stop the healing process? I always thought that was silly.

Well if it had no heart beat or primary biological functions I could see why they wouldn't heal... But that's magic not science...
I guess they could be like resident evil 4 zombies and just be some sort of parasitic virus thing that wears the body like a shell, I mean that would work but that's not really a zombie in the true walking dead sense.

 

[Nerdstar]

Hasn't Cracked done a few articles on this? I remember one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen and one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Would be Doomed to Failure. So you have that.

Actually, here's the links.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

I don't know who the folks at Cracked are, but they always have an article on what I'm thinking about. If they put out an article on whether or not Cthulhu could beat superman, I will know that they are somehow getting a hold of the stuff I think about when bored.

I'm pretty sure they use a device similar to the one Riddler used in that horrible Batman: Forever movie. As for Superman vs Cthulhu, we all know Goku would beat them both. So, that's that.

and then there's batman. game set and match

OT:i was wondering how long it would take for a savy poster to post the craked articals

 

[crudus]

Hasn't Cracked done a few articles on this? I remember one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Could Happen and one about Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Would be Doomed to Failure. So you have that.

Actually, here's the links.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

To be fair, that would be a scary few weeks if any of that ever happened.

Did I miss anything, or are our zombie apocalypse plans all for not? Your thoughts.

Walking Dead? Possible with nano-bots(though very impractical), but that is about it. Zombies in every other sense? Yeah totally possible mostly by merely cutting off serotonin receptors or mind-controlling parasites(yes, they exist). Also, most zombie apocalypse plans double as home invasion plans (where your house is being invaded), so why should we stop people?

 

[Jacob Haggarty]

Ressurected zombies? No...

Viral "zombies" (see 28 days)? Probably.

Interesting how you say "space radiation"... which is to say "a bit retarded".

But i do like your point about how a zombie would function movement wise. Its not neccessarily impossible to burn glycogen without oxygen, i think it's known as anaerobic respiration, in fact i think we can do it as humans. The only problem is, it's not sustainable, as it builds up lactic acid, which also needs oxygen to deplete it. So, you COULD have zombies that move anearobically, it's just they would be shit.

It might be possible to induce contractions of the heart and lungs using electrical signals. Think pacemaker, but hooked up to the diaphragm and intercostal muscles as well as the heart (get me, being a smart-arse with my fancy biological terminology). Again, possibly feasable, but overly complicated and probably expensive. Also, it's stupid: who would WANT to make zombies? Don't answer that.

Over all, i reckon a viral or bacterial infection is the way to go. Sure they aren't REALLY zombies, but they're the closest you're going to get.

haven't you ever seen the original 1968 "Night of The Living Dead"? the zombies are raised by space radiation from Venus.

I looked it up and you are correct on the burning of glycogen, and in that they would go down long before they would ever get a brain sandwich.

No, i haven't, but WOW!

That has to be the most hilariously contrived reason for zombies EVER! And i love it!