Change and Letting Go

[sanomaton]

Hello, dear Escapists!

I do not know if this has been done before, the search bar didn't want to work with me tonight. Please, don't kill me.

I have a problem and I'm assuming maybe there's someone, or actually quite many of yous out there, who might suffer from the same problem. Hence, I am writing this now as I figured this might be the best place to discuss about the issue. Also, I'm feeling a bit lonely tonight so I turn to you. Yes, you.

My story:
I have recently noticed from myself that I find it extremely hard and and am excruciatingly (I hope that's a real word) frightened of change or letting go of something. Even the most simple tasks take me months to be done with. For example, my phone company has been ripping me off for years but I've had the same plan ever since I got my first mobile phone (that's, say, 6-7 years). To change it, I first have to think it through that I truly don't want to be ripped off anymore, then it takes me about three months to actually denounce the friggin' phone plan and another month to get a new one.

Also, this month I have an entrance exam for University (for Intercultural Teacher Education) but I'm getting cold feet on whether I really want to go to Uni and truly push myself forward. Would I be better off staying at the second degree school where I go to now and continue living in a dorm or should I get my own place, study in a University and appreciate all the possibilities that change brings me.

Change is something that is inevitable in this world and I am befuddled on why it is so hard for me to appreciate or accept it. I think most people are, even if only slightly, somewhat afraid of changes. Is it only because there's a certain comfort in staying in the same safe spot you've always stayed in even though the change would improve your life one way or the other and you knew this? (I'm still thinking about my phone plan... And University) Or is there something else to it.

How about you, my fellow Escapists? Do you feel the fear of letting go of your old life as you move forward or have a hard time coping with change, whether it was a big change or a smaller one? Discuss!


tl;dr
I dread even the slightest changes in my life. How about you?

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I am like you in many ways. I do not like change, and unless I have the threat of something hanging over my head (like grades or work), I won't do something. So let me tell you this:

DO IT. I went to London for a class, even though I kept telling myself all the reasons I shouldn't go. I had an amazing time. I dreaded going to college and spent the final weeks of high school freaking out about it, but it was an amazing time. You will often find that, if you jump straight in, it is not as bad as you think.
And before you start thinking that this changed my life and that I'm trying to say, "And it will change yours too!", it hasn't. I still have the same job I had when I was in high school, and I've graduated from college now. I still find myself talking myself out of doing something more often than I talk myself into doing something. Odds are you will always have a difficult time with change, but sometimes you need to simply charge ahead.

 

[CrashBang]

I can relate to that, you're certainly not on your own, man. When I finished my first year of university I went to see each of my mates on my last day and we all got upset and made a big thing of it even though we were going to be back a few months later. This week I've finished university completely and my mates have been leaving, one by one, as if it's no big deal. I might not see some of them again but none of it seems to be a big deal to them. I'm a very happy person, the happiest guy I know, in fact, but all of this is just killing me. I don't want a job, I don't want to lose my friends, I want to just repeat these last three years over and over

So, yeah, I know what you mean. In relation to making the big life choices, it's so daunting to know that whatever decision you make will affect your life for at least the next two-three years and that is a fucking large chunk of your life. I think about this stuff every day and it just takes the ability to look on the bright side in order to get your through these moments

If I can give some friendly advice, go to university, become independent and enjoy an entirely new way of living. It really is the best thing you can do with your life

 

[sanomaton]

I am like you in many ways. I do not like change, and unless I have the threat of something hanging over my head (like grades or work), I won't do something. So let me tell you this:

DO IT. I went to London for a class, even though I kept telling myself all the reasons I shouldn't go. I had an amazing time. I dreaded going to college and spent the final weeks of high school freaking out about it, but it was an amazing time. You will often find that, if you jump straight in, it is not as bad as you think.
And before you start thinking that this changed my life and that I'm trying to say, "And it will change yours too!", it hasn't. I still have the same job I had when I was in high school, and I've graduated from college now. I still find myself talking myself out of doing something more often than I talk myself into doing something. Odds are you will always have a difficult time with change, but sometimes you need to simply charge ahead.

Quite so, quite so.

The phrase, "charging ahead" brought an old vision to my mind. When you go swimming and the water is cold you just need to run and jump, otherwise you will not swim at all. Funny enough I always do this while others stop and run back to shore.

Still, it's soothing to hear from someone who deals with the same "problem", if you can call it that. And thanks for the advice, too.

 

[SckizoBoy]

If there are two things in my life I fear above all others they are: monotony; and upheaval. But having gone through a fair bit of the latter, I'm a little glad of the former, when it happens.

In the main, though, I find myself rather adaptable. Adjusting to uni life was relatively easy, and moving south was OK too.

Anyway, with respect to your circumstances, replace 'change' with 'potential' and RUN! Go to uni, get yourself a new social circle because the chances are, you're going to surrounded by a fair few people who are in much the same position as you. Put the effort into believing that the change will be worth it, and it really will be. Put another way, consider it a challenge, tell yourself you'll beat it, and you'll definitely feel better for it.

My $0.02, for what they're worth. And Good Luck!

 

[sanomaton]

*snip* I'm a very happy person, the happiest guy I know, in fact, but all of this is just killing me. I don't want a job, I don't want to lose my friends, I want to just repeat these last three years over and over *snip*

This is exactly, word to word, how I feel. I'm a very happy and a positive person but it just.. kills me (in the lack of a better word) to know I need to move forward, get my life together.

*snip* Anyway, with respect to your circumstances, replace 'change' with 'potential' and RUN! Go to uni, get yourself a new social circle because the chances are, you're going to surrounded by a fair few people who are in much the same position as you. Put the effort into believing that the change will be worth it, and it really will be. Put another way, consider it a challenge, tell yourself you'll beat it, and you'll definitely feel better for it.

My $0.02, for what they're worth. And Good Luck!

Here's your $0.02! I was actually tempted on using the word 'potential' since where I am now at life I do have the potential to get through life with my head heald high and challenge myself stdying and doing something I've always wanted or succumb back to the life I know and am certain of... But anyway, thank you

 

[ScoopMeister]

Well I don't like change, but that's less down to fear and more down to laziness. That said, I'm coming to the end of formal education now and will soon be moving on to college (I know it's not as big as uni, but it is pretty big to me), and I will admit that I am ever so slightly nervous about it.

 

[SckizoBoy]

This is exactly, word to word, how I feel. I'm a very happy and a positive person but it just.. kills me (in the lack of a better word) to know I need to move forward, get my life together.

Here's your $0.02! I was actually tempted on using the word 'potential' since where I am now at life I do have the potential to get through life with my head heald high and challenge myself stdying and doing something I've always wanted or succumb back to the life I know and am certain of... But anyway, thank you

Perhaps I should start charging...

Anyway, in a way, I feel the same, too (I wish I had the last two years of secondary school on a loop), but time moves inexorably on, and so must we all. You could call it all part of the learning experience, I guess.

And you're quite welcome.

 

[Cookie-darling]

Most everyone has trouble letting go of things and moving forward. Not everyone, but most. It's a natural occurrence. Few of us simply charge forward through life, not caring. We want to hold on to what we already have, because the future is uncertain. You never know what may happen. Changing jobs, when you already have one that seems secure is scary because you don't know if the new job will work out. What if they don't like you after all? Getting out of a negative relationship is often scary as well, because you never know if you will be able to find someone to be with you forever. Honestly it is most likely that the positive will always prevail, but there are people who die alone every day, and not because their spouses died. It's frightening to go into the darkness without a light, and that's basically what the future is. You can't see what is going to come. So much is up to chance and other random factors.

 

[staika]

I'm open to change but it always has to follow one criteria and that is "Does this change make it better then what it was before" and this can be for almost anything. If it does fit that criteria than I"m open for the change whatever it may be.