Seldon2639 said:
When a man cheats, it seems that people are more likely to invoke him and the other woman as being at fault. The other woman is (obviously) a skank for sleeping with a taken man. The man is a bastard for cheating. The cheated on woman is a blameless victim.
If a woman cheats, it seems that we're more likely to give her a pass on it. She must have been "driven" into the arms of another man. Her boyfriend must have been a terrible boyfriend. Interestingly, there are mixed results about the other man. Some see him as being a noble person, comforting a woman whose boyfriend sucks, others see him as a bastard.
Yeah, this is a trend I have noticed for a while now actually, this is particularly apparent in movies, the woman
always has something to rationalise her affair but the man in this situation is almost always just doing it out of sheer dickishness.
As a male, I have to say I find it a little disheartening.
OT:
I reckon it can be all three, for instance if (hypothetically) a woman is unhappy or perhaps is just having a difficult time in her marriage she may slip up and sleep with someone on the side. However the difficulty in the marriage may not entirely be the spouses fault, indeed I find such a sentiment laughable, if a marriage really is on the rocks odds are both spouses had an equal hand in it and no one has the right to cry foul.
So the spouse is not directly at fault, but is a major factor nonetheless. Remember boys and girls, you do still have to show love and affection to your significant others.
Second is the cheater herself/himself. Now this is someone who CAN be given the blame squarely, if you married for love and then betrayed the trust of your spouse that is something YOU did on YOUR OWN TERMS, I hate it when people try and claim that they were 'pushed' into these situations, because no one was tied to a bed and no one was forced. They could have at least admitted that they were compelled to do it and made a concious decision to do it because that's at least honest and can potentially be considered understandable.
However if you ask me, still the most easy to blame.
Finally the cheatee (see what I did there, play on the word 'cheater') is also fairly unsympathetic. On one hand they are going after someone who is clearly unavailable and in essence having no problem with the thought of stealing away the affections of a person knowing that somewhere out there someone loves them and trusts them.
Worse still are the casual affairs because then it's almost toying with the emotions of someone for cheap thrills and fun which I find quite distasteful.
Having emotions for said person is one thing and I can sympathise with the people unaware that their partners were married but the ones who clearly were aware and still had no problem with it, I have no sympathy.
So overall the presence of an extramarital affair doesn't neccesarily mean the end of a relationship, plenty of marriages have recovered from things like this, after all one can still argue that true love conquers all. But I can guarentee you that it still causes pain and hardships and indeed the feeling that your life is falling apart, and for all this to come at the cost of someone merely wanting to 'play around' I find loathsome. So while I am aware that adultery doesn't always mean the end of a relationship it always means pain and hardship and indeed everyone is to blame in some respects.
Can I just add for the record, I hate it when people consider sleeping with 'horny housewives' as a 'turn on'... I just have too much of a concious when it comes to things like this.
