Cheesy video game quotes you like.

[Spider RedNight]

There are quite a few lines from Handsome Jack that make me chuckle, but this has to be my favorite: "My day is going pretty well, just bought a pony made of diamonds. I was gonna call it 'Piss for Brains' in honor of you, but that just seems immature. I'm thinking, maybe, Butt Stallion?"

I'll second this; I love almost everything he has to say - he's just really enjoyable to listen to (thanks Dameon Clarke).

Recently though, I got a REAL hardy laugh out of newcomer memetic mutation "WHAT!?" from Fallout 4.

Spoiler: Caravan or Raider

Also Persona 4's "YOU'RE NOT ME!!1!", which after awhile, just gets kind of hilariously annoying

 

[Fijiman]

"CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! No, wait, scratch that. Cheese for no one."

Gotta love Sheogorath. I'm also surprised that this wasn't the first line anyone thought of when they saw the title.

 

[Barbas]

What's that Final Fantasy game with the little kid whose mom gets munted off a cliff or something?

"You don't know yet!"
"HngSARAH!!"

Fucking Phantom Menace of video games.

EDIT: Different game, but "You were almost a Jill sandwich!"

 

[chozo_hybrid]

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk, have at you!"

I love cheesy lines, this one will stay with me until the end of time XD

 

[JohnnyDelRay]

I love the over the top cheesiness of the noir detective story feel in the Max Payne games. Of course only the latest one comes to memory, so here's a couple.

"Her fashion sense didn't leave a whole lot of room for imagination. Or food."

"No one would be rebooting his system. Poor bastard."

"I was a dumb American in a place where dumb American's are less popular than the clap."
(Sorry my memory sucks and these are borrowed from another thread on IGN with clearer wording than I would have otherwise)

It's not just the ridiculous metaphors he has for everything, especially nightmares and personal demons, it's also the dry, emotionless monotone delivery that sets the tone and makes it such a stand out.

 

[Ayame Murasaki]

"Let's mosey."

 

[Tohuvabohu]

Almost everything that J.C. Denton says.


I quote this guy on almost a daily basis. I really wonder if the writers and voice-actor intended for J.C. to be as hilarious as he was.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Pretty every line Albert Wesker says in RE5.
So much delicious ham.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

"Jill, here's a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you."
-Resident Evil

I AM THE MASTER OF UNLOCKING!

"Demon's are more interested in ripping out your heart, not your signpost!" (must be said in Scottish accent for maximum effect)
-Diablo

 

[Cowabungaa]

I haven't played it, but I love Castlevania's "What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets."

Way to edge it up Dracula, really quivering in my boots here.

How about the king of them all; Resident Evil 4.

Good as it is in this regard (and many others), the original RE still tops it in terms of cheesy dialogue. I was going to post the best ones but I've been ninjaed.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

What an entertaining thread. Bookmarked!
I really only came for the

Sonic Adventure 2: Battle.
Shadow : There's no time for games. Farewell.

quote, but more are remembered now.

Abe's Oddysee bad guards: "Gotta get paiyyyd!

Conker's bad fur day: "Jetpacks and butlers, here we come!"

"Anti-gravity chocolate?? Errr out ze fucking window with zat!"

The entirety of the great mighty poo's script.

Actually, just consider the whole game quoteworthy.

Dragon Age Origins: Sing songy voice "Somebody's been drinnnkiiing!

Arkham City: Joker "Stop hurting Harley...thay's my job!" paraphrased probably.

There are quite a few lines from Handsome Jack that make me chuckle, but this has to be my favorite: "My day is going pretty well, just bought a pony made of diamonds. I was gonna call it 'Piss for Brains' in honor of you, but that just seems immature. I'm thinking, maybe, Butt Stallion?"

That explains that weird scene in the final episode of tales from the borderlands then.

 

[spartandude]

Pretty much everything by Flemeth in Dragon Age Origins. Also as a very close runner up, again everything said by Sheogorath in The Shivering Isles.

 

[Mister K]

I to this day get damn pumped when I hear those lines from Auron in Final Fantasy X:
"Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!"

If anyone wants to watch a video of it, here you go (skip to 0:20):

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

"Looks like blood... I hope it's not Chris's blood"
"Take this weapon! It's really good, especially against living things!"
"Take this lockpick! Surely it'll come in handy to you, the Master of Unlocking!"

And so on. Good old Barry.

How about the king of them all; Resident Evil 4.

"Your right hand comes off?"
"No thanks...'bro'."
"Can't remember the name, huh -- A senior moment perhaps."
"I really don't give a damn... Rain or shine, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"
"Heh, monsters... Guess after this there's one less to worry about."
"LOUIS..! LOUIIIIIIIISS!!!"

"Where's everybody going? Bingo?"
"Pfeh. Women"
"Hasta luego!"

 

[The Wykydtron]

"I got a ton of work done. A skele-ton."

Fuckin' sans...

Also MGS Rising is so, so good.

"MEMES! THE DNA OF THE SOUL!"

"YOUR MEMES END HERE!"

I wish Monsoon had more game time, he gets introduced and killed within the same scene. MGS Rising could have been an even better game with a few more levels, Sam and Raiden's rivalry just needed one or two more scenes together to truly pull it off I feel.

Plus almost every single utterance of move names in an ArcSys game. BlazBlue has Ragna screaming INFERNO DIVIDAH and Guilty Gear Xrd has Sol kicking it up a notch or twelve by screaming move names and making the soundtrack hype as fuck when activating his powerup mode.

I fuckin' hate playing vs Sol because Dragon Install + Hellfire state brings back repressed memories of bullshit UMVC3 Dark Wesker comeback damage, but god DAMN it's cool. If only Ky had a powerup super to match the whole two main characters thing. He has a thing where if he gets beaten up enough his ponytail comes loose and his hair comes down and the soundtrack changes for the rest of the game but as far as I know it gives him no buffs and it happens during like 5% of average game time max.

 

[Foolery]

"Listen, you don't like me and I SURE AS HELL don't like you. But if we don't do something, Mr. Mohawk's gonna activate this Ring! And we're ALL gonna die."

Sgt. Johnson had some of the most quotable lines in the Halo franchise, I think.

 

[Michel Henzel]

My favorite part out of all the Homeworld games.

Homeworld: Cataclysm

Fleet Command: Yes, Yes! You will not be Bound -- whatever that means. Well guess what: We won't
let you go. It doesn't matter how we die. One ancient monster is as good as another!

Bentusi: We...are...not...monsters.

Fleet Command: Aren't you? Look around - Look what you've done to our fleet (for some class
focus on your most damaged ship ;-))! All because we dared to get in your way. Look at yourselves:
the Aloof and the Mighty Bentusi! Slaughtering the people who ask for your help. You're worse than
the Beast. At least the Beast doesn't pretend to be righteous!

 

[WonkyWarmaiden]

Can I just put the entire Citadel DLC for Mass Effect 3 as my answer? It's so ridiculous and full of in-jokes and silly lines but I love every stupid minute of that thing.

 

[TheMigrantSoldier]

"Trust me. I don't pick fights I can't win."

-Ephraim, Prince and GENIUS Strategian

 

[Callate]

I love how House of the Dead 2's lines were both written and performed by someone who apparently did not understand English on a very basic level.

"Suffer, like 'G' did?"
Oh, that's an offer? No, no thank you. I think I'll pass.

"I shall destroy... and hate mankind!"
Well, destroy us if you must, but don't hate us...

I also have a deep affection for the original Commando from Command and Conquer. Partly it's how he's introduced. In GDI's darkest hour, plotwise, you're suddenly faced with a mission in which, for the first time, you have control over one infantry unit. What the hell...?

Seconds later...

"Time to rock and roll!"
"'Real tough guy!"
"Keep 'em coming!"
"That was left-handed!"
"No problem!"
"I've got a present for ya!"