Childbirth, the mens role

[cuddly_tomato]

My brothers lady is in labor right at this second. I got off the phone with him and he told me a rough version of the conversation he had with the midwife.

Bro: Any idea how long this will take?

Midwife: Could be an hour, could be twelve hours. Just be patient and don't moan.

Bro: I have been up all night working!

Midwife: Do you think shes having a pic-nic in there?!

My dad and myself have speculated about whether or not my brother will actually pass out while this goes on. Anyway, how important do you think it is that the father is at the birth? The opinion of any women who have been through this is would be most appreciated. I don't see what we can really do except get everyones way, hold a hand, and say "breathe" over and over.

 

[El Poncho]

That sucks for him working all night, but the bonus of being there is that she can't mention you not being there.
Also I'm sure if he holds her hand he will stay awake

 

[Ekonk]

I don't think men have any other role than mental support. And I think labor pains will rob you of caring about mental support. Don't know though.

 

[Garaw]

The man's role in childbirth has been fulfilled nine months before the event.

I kid, of course.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

I'd say it's more of a role to just be supportive and help the mother. Unless he's actually delivering the baby, then it's a bit more complicated. But then again, I'm 17 and haven't exactly been in that situation.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Bah, child birth. I had appendicitis. THAT'S pain.

Seriously though, I think a father should be there... I ain't looking though.

 

[BonsaiK]

Anyway, how important do you think it is that the father is at the birth? The opinion of any women who have been through this is would be most appreciated. I don't see what we can really do except get everyones way, hold a hand, and say "breathe" over and over.

If I was ever in this situation (which I will never be, by the way) I would ask her before labor began what she wanted. Then when the time came, that's what I'd do. Simple as that.

 

[Raven's Nest]

My brothers lady is in labor right at this second. I got off the phone with him and he told me a rough version of the conversation he had with the midwife.

Bro: Any idea how long this will take?

Midwife: Could be an hour, could be twelve hours. Just be patient and don't moan.

Bro: I have been up all night working!

Midwife: Do you think shes having a pic-nic in there?!

My dad and myself have speculated about whether or not my brother will actually pass out while this goes on. Anyway, how important do you think it is that the father is at the birth? The opinion of any women who have been through this is would be most appreciated. I don't see what we can really do except get everyones way, hold a hand, and say "breathe" over and over.

Sucks that he's tired but surely its one of those moments where putting your wife first should come into play here?

I'd like to be there holding my hypothetical wife's hand when she gives birth...

But tell him that if he values his sex drive he should under no circumstances whatsoever, watch his baby being delivered... Those images will be burned into his brain forever!

 

[AnnaIME]

It seems I'm the first poster with actual experience. I have given birth to two children, and my husband was there both times.

Having him there was important to me - being in pain for hours isn't as much fun as some people make it out to be, and just talking to him made me feel better. Having babies isn't a logical experience. Strange and painful things happen. The breathing part may or may not be important, we don't do that much in my country, but having a familiar, trusted husband with you makes all the difference. And him getting me that drink of water or that sick bag between pushes meant THE WORLD at that moment. The hospital staff don't have time for such menial tasks.

The thing is, being present at the births of our children was even more important for my husband. The first time was an incredlible experience for him, being part of the miracle, cutting the umbilical cord, holding our newborn son even before I did. The second time it was still more important. There were complications. I had to stay and get taken care of while our daughter was rushed off to baby-ICU in another part of the hospital. We were both scared, but my husband was able to go with her, seeing where she went and what happened to her. It made me feel better, knowing that he was with her. (in case you are wondering, she got healthy in just a couple of weeks).

I hope everything goes well for you brother and his new family.

 

[JanatUrlich]

wtf your brother doesn't want to be there to support his girl through childbirth?

That's a bit screwed up dude! It's fucking heartless if you're not there

 

[AnnaIME]

actually some men get so traumatised by childbirth that the relationship is broken. it all depends on the people involved and its not heartless in the slightest.

I suppose it depends on what kind of person you are. If, for instance, the father-to-be is already terrified of hospitals, maybe the mother-to-be can bring a female realtive or a close friend instead. The really, really important thing is not to be alone. You can feel VERY vulnerable, giving birth.

Having the father there is still the best, I think. A new baby changes everything. You are never prepared, whatever you may believe before it happens. Being present at the birth makes the whole thing a shared experience. Missing it could make the first months as a father more difficult than they need be.

 

[Aunel]

I'd say it's more of a role to just be supportive and help the mother. Unless he's actually delivering the baby, then it's a bit more complicated. But then again, I'm 17 and haven't exactly been in that situation.

at least you shouldn't have been...

OT: I hope I have a great excuse not to be there when it happens (if it ever happens)
I'll most likely pass out, clutching my bass in one hand and a baseball bat in the other.

 

[GrinningManiac]

I just found out that my wife is pregnant on NYE.
I honestly don't know where I'll be or what I'll do during childbirth. But that's the least of my fears at this time. I'm more on the: What kind of Dad will I be? Will I be able to support my family? Etc...

But I guess the role of the Father (or partner) is support.

BRING THE BABY TO THE ESCAPIST

WE SHALL RAISE HIM AS OUR OWN

OT: Men cause the birth, allow the woman to let out some rage when she's going through the pain of childbirth, and support the family after the birth

 

[JaredXE]

Waiting room, passing out cigars.


No way in HELL am I going to be in there. Let the actual PROFESSIONALS help my wife, I'd be no good there.


And NO VIDEO!

 

[Jark212]

Childbirth, you can't unsee it...

Now that's that's aside a man's role in the modern age is to comfort her while trying to preserve his sanity by not looking...

Back in the day men weren't even allowed to be in the room with his wife/baby's mama, which might have been for the better...

 

[Dahni]

I think a guy should be there for support. Childbirth is painful from what I've heard and I would be raging if whatever guy got me pregnant wasn't there to see the pain I'd be goin' through for something that's cost me 9 months of my life & an hour or so of his.

 

[yourbeliefs]

I've been attending child birth classes with my wife (she's due in March) and from what I can tell the role of the husband is just for physical and mental support, and apparently to speak on the wife's behalf after all the labor pains have knocked her into a quasi-coma. His role could easily be replaced by that of a midwife, or even the Michelin man if he could talk. There's a whole bunch of positions they teach you to help your wife with to ease the pain, and for some of them they use your body for support.

It seems to vary on a case by case basis, but overall I'd have to say the husband's role is rather negligible in the grand scheme. Hell when I was being born my dad was thrown out of the delivery room for being a distraction. It seems like the best strategy is to be as close as you can without getting in the way.

Also, I don't see much of a need to see the child coming out of the wife. It may be worth to see it on a video or something happening to someone else, but I don't think I've heard 1 positive experience coming from a guy who saw their woman push out their kid.