Childhood Misconceptions

[rodneyy]

i used to think that americans used gas in their cars not realising it was a short form of gasoline and wondering why they didnt use petrol like we did.
hamburgers were made of ham i was a vegetarian at the time so had never tasted either ham or beef so didnt know the difference and just thought the start of the word was a discription not a name. "soy"burger, "turkey"burger, "ham"burger.
and last i used to think smeg was a made up word when i found out what it really ment all those insults in red dwarf started to make alot more sense.

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

I used to think babies were conceived by peeing in a lady. Luckily this was a good 5 years before I was even aware of sex.

I used to think 'Brought to you' in 'Brought to you by...' was one word and pronounced 'Brontuyou'

I used to think the Germans and Russians were on the same side in both World Wars. I was 9.

My parents also convinced me that raising the armrests in a plane help the pilots take off.

I used to think saying anything about having or making bombs at a security checkpoint in an airport was perfectly acceptable. Luckily, I was 4 and this happened before 9/11, and the one time I did it kinda scared me out of doing it again.

I used to think there was a monster in the toilet that would grab you if you flushed while sitting on the toilet.

 

[Fluffythepoo]

I pronounced "grilled cheese" "girl cheese" until 12, i thought "ham and pinapple/hawiian" pizza was "hawaiin pinapple" and that ham and pineapple was a different kind of pizza until 15, also thought rammstein were russian until 17

 

[Timedraven 117]

I thought the game, Mercenaries was based off a true war.
I thought North Korea was very strict on travel but, still allowed it.

Thats it really. i didn't even have the , "Where do babies come from?" Question ever.

 

[Tropicaz]

I used to think that trees made wind when I was really small. When it was windy, the trees moved. No idea why I thought that.

 

[Queen Michael]

I thought Luigi was Mario's dad.

 

[Scow2]

Childhood misconceptions? Oh boy, here we go...

I guess the most prominent one (that kinda almost persisted until I was thirteen or fourteen) was, well, the reiteration of some of my mother's certain points of view. She's of the sort that would say "I'm not a racist, BUT Irishmen are drunks/terrorists, all Arabs are evil, you can't trust southerners, all Englishmen are prejudiced (ha), Americans are jerks, etc. We here in the North, however, we are more trustworthy, oh yes."

I doubt she's actually a bad person, unless she actually applied those stated viewpoints to actual people. In my experience, most people with racist preconceptions actually do give the 'victims' of their preconceptions the benefit of the doubt whenever actually interacting with them, though with the "though only you, your friends, and anyone else that you like that fit in this category, aren't like "other" "

 

[this account is gay]

I was told that if you ate a seeded grape, a grapevine would start growing in your stomach... And seeded watermelons would have melons coming out of your ears. I actually believed these, and avoided seeded things for a couple years. I still dislike the seeded grapes though...

I also thought that when people had sex, they just laid down and started kissing. Nothing else. Then I discovered the other side of the internet.

 

[TheFunPolice]

I used to strongly believe that the Queen of England was 300 years old...And that all Royalty had a life span of 600 years. Simply because they were Royal and it seemed reasonable at the time..


And due to a misunderstanding with my mum, I thought that the only reason insects existed, was to replace the leaves every spring, after they had all fallen down in Autumn. I thought that the leaves were all bugs which had climbed onto trees and got transformed into leaves

 

[Harley Q]

I now understand that girls aren't icky, they are in fact, quite pretty. Unfortunately they're insane.

INSANE!!! What do you mean insane!?! *grabs a bottle of JD and some matches*

HAHAHAH

Edit- Until recently I believed that my grandfather's broken fingers were due to my gran hitting him with a hammer. He told me this story. However it was due to an accident with a jackhammer. He also told me that he kept a leprechaun in a jar for me in Ireland. When I went to visit he showed me a broken jar and told me the leprechaun had escaped. I was about 10 when I figured that one out.

 

[Akytalusia]

i used to think women just absorbed semen during coitus. it wasn't until my first experience that i learned that it just leaks right back out. i thought it would be self contained and clean, but it's messy and i found it pretty fuckin' disgusting tbh.

captcha: just use your foot. what are you trying to say, captcha?

 

[SuperSamio64]

When, aged about 9, I found out what sex was; I assumed you just put it in and lay there for the rest of the night.

 

[AngloDoom]

I used to think that having a hundred of something was mind-blowingly big no matter what it was. I spent a year collecting pennies and I was so proud when I got a hundred that I rushed to my mother and said we could buy a nice big house to live in and all the things we couldn't afford. Then she informed me that one-hundred pennies is a Pound and a Pound is worth very little. I cried - I thought I'd single-handedly solved all my family's financial problems worries and paved our way to the life of luxury.

Also, due to racist kids on my street, I was once convinced one child on my road was called 'Paki'. Due to him being the same age as me he thought it was his nickname and answered to it. So there was me, age nine, walking along the street and yelling "Oi, Paki!" at my friend. Wonderful.

EDIT-

i used to think women just absorbed semen during coitus. it wasn't until my first experience that i learned that it just leaks right back out.

Also, this. I do not understand why I thought it n retrospect but it surprised the hell out of me at the time.

 

[robot slipper]

My mum used to tell me that if I sit so close to the TV my eyes will turn square. Every night before I went to bed I would run my fingers over my eyes to make sure they were still round.

In a similar vein, my mum used to say that if you left the tv on in a room and then left the room without turning it off, the tv would overheat and explode. I think she was trying to get us to save electricity by not leaving the tv on when we weren't watching it, but forgot to EXPLAIN that bit. So it just made me terrified to be the only one in the room with the tv on, because what if I forgot to turn it off before going to the bathroom and it exploded!

 

[The Funslinger]

When I was about five or six I couldn't for the life of me understand how people could speak two different languages, as such I used to think they had one ear for understanding one language and the other ear for the second one, yeah I know it was stupid but well I was a kid.

My friends and I thought French/Spanish/etc people were born with a part of their tongue missing and that was why they spoke different languages.

Kids be crazy.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I didn't know the turn-of-phrase about spanking one's monkey was a euphemism for masturbation until I was between 13 or 14...possibly 15. Furthermore I didn't know Master of Puppets was a song about drugs, drug-use etc. Furthermore I thought the lyric "chop your breakfast on a mirror" was literal and about ham or something.

A bit off topic because religion but I believed at a young age that once you died, you move on to another plane of existence wherein you create your own galaxy Sims style.

 

[C4tt4nn4]

I didn't know what 9/11 was. I kid you not, I thought it was like a National Police Day for the longest time. XD

you think that's bad? i didn't realize 9/11 was a plane crash: i thought it was the longest lasting skyscraper fire un history, hence all the reporting on it. i actually got quite annoyed that the news wouldn't cover anything else!

I also genuinely thought "las" was an honest to goodness article in french gramar. i was really confused as to why everyone acted like it didn't exist

yeah, i was a bit of a slow kid...

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

When I was really younger I used to get really confused at why everyone was would get so fired up about what I though was a charity called "Youth in Asia". Turned out I slightly misheard the pronunciation >.<

 

[G32420NL]

When I was really young (I think around 5 or 6), my nephew told me babies grew on trees. I believed him up until about the age of 14 when I discovered the existence of le sexytime.

I also though that traffic lights were controlled by sensors in the roads that could tell when a car was coming.

Wait, they're not? Huh. I guess you can chalk that one up for me as well.

Well you where actually right in a way (at least in the netherlands, where i live, not sure about other country's), while many traffic lights work on a set pattern, there is also a system using a metal wire in the road, it's resistance is measured, if an large enough object stands on it (a car or bike) the resistance changes. this is incorporated like a button whould be for a cyclist or pedestrian. it depends on the traffic flow, on less busy street a detection system whould be used.

Edit: http://auto.howstuffworks.com/car-driving-safety/safety-regulatory-devices/question234.htm

Here you go :3