I was in 6th grade with above-average grades, a dependable group of friends, a simple, loving relationship when I realized I had an incredible talent for lying. So for a while I told everyone stories so I could control them, and it worked. I guess I realized death was real when my girlfriend (not the nice one) dumped me for the tenth time. Or maybe when I figured out Duke Nukem Forever was terrible. Or maybe it was when I opted not to order onion rings because they're unhealthy.