Chuck Norris

[The_root_of_all_evil]

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks ass.

 

[killgannon]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

This one made me giggle

 

[RoboPenguin]

Also, did you know Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors?

Well did you know Chuck Norris does not sleep. He only waits.

Really? Well some kids piss their name into snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Well I bet you didn't know that Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Or that Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

I did. But did you know that Chuck Norris ccould delete the recycling bin?

I've deleted my recycle bin. For serious. It was a very WTF moment. I was just trying to empty it and I right clicked on the wrong option. Thank you vista.

 

[Ozymandiaz]

lee might have beaten him, but look at what happened to him in return...

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Bruce Lee is cooler. He just is.

 

[Antiparticle]

My favorite:

Chuck Norris doesn't have a watch, he decides what time it is.

 

[Overlord_Dave]

My favorite:

Chuck Norris doesn't have a watch, he decides what time it is.

When Chuck Norris jumps into the sea, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...

The water gets Chuck Norris.

(Apologies if this turns into a Chuck Norris-joke thread but I couldn't resist.)

 

[mikecoulter]

Chuck Norris is a lie....

 

[Jeronus]

I wonder what Chuck Norris did to get such praise from his fans. Seriously, I want to know and DON'T GIVE SOME LAME ASS JOKE. I mean no one else have fans like Chuck Norris. Someone please tell me.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I wonder what Chuck Norris did to get such praise from his fans. Seriously, I want to know and DON'T GIVE SOME LAME ASS JOKE. I mean no one else have fans like Chuck Norris. Someone please tell me.

I don't know that he had a ton of fans who started this whole meme, but I do know that Conan O'Brien had the "Walker, Texas Ranger (aka Chuck Norris)" lever on his show for whenever no one laughed at his jokes. It was hilarious, but I think Conan might be partially to blame for the creation of the Chuck mythos.

 

[jonnopon3000]

lol there is a really kool website my friend showed me:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Absolutely hilarious database of chuck norris big-up jokes, for example:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves
If you have 5 dollars and chuck norris has 5 dollars, chuck norris has more money than you
If you spell chuck norris in scrabble, you win. Forever

Check it out, is awesome!!

 

[Christemo]

better than god.

"At first there was nothing. then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face yelling "Get a job" and so the universe was made."

 

[Christemo]

lol there is a really kool website my friend showed me:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Absolutely hilarious database of chuck norris big-up jokes, for example:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves
If you have 5 dollars and chuck norris has 5 dollars, chuck norris has more money than you
If you spell chuck norris in scrabble, you win. Forever

Check it out, is awesome!!

its 1 of my favorite sites OF ALL TIME.

 

[jonnopon3000]

lol there is a really kool website my friend showed me:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Absolutely hilarious database of chuck norris big-up jokes, for example:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves
If you have 5 dollars and chuck norris has 5 dollars, chuck norris has more money than you
If you spell chuck norris in scrabble, you win. Forever

Check it out, is awesome!!

its 1 of my favorite sites OF ALL TIME.

Woo got a fan!! good website, eh?

 

[Maj.JakeVitaminwater]

did you know Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

 

[Neonbob]

Spoiler

What do YOU think?

I think I'm about to find me a cross and some nails.
And some Romans.

Yay! Chuck on a stick! Then you can group up and use him as a weapon!

 

[AlexTheBucket2112]

The only chuck norris joke I've laughed at so far is "Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris."
It's a bit old.

 

[captain awesome 12]

Look at my avatar.... It's awesome isn't it, go on, you know you want to admit it.

Chuck Norris is almost 70, but could kick Marcus Fenix's ass just by blinking his eyes. (or pulling the plug on the Xbox I suppose...)

 

[Shapsters]

Although the jokes about him are funny, I hate him. He is a religious nut who one minute was laughing at all the jokes people make about him, and the next minute freaking out on them for not having his permission. He is a loser.