Cliches that you hate with a passion.

[Quantum Star]

All Tall people (including me) MUST play basketball. There is no exception.

Ughhh, this thing right here. All the time I get comments about how tall I am. First time meeting someone? Yup. From second family that know full well that I am? Yup. Even my own freaking family that I live with? Yup. And hell, basketball happens to be one of my least favorite sports, even if I wasn't so tall. I wish I could lose a few inches, but that isn't possible at all, so I'm stuck being 6'3, which is pretty much taller than everyone else in my grade and everyone that I know. Being tall is overrated. Fuck being tall.

 

[Purkki]

In every detective story the detective hears or looks at something totally irrelevant to the plot and gets the idea of who killed the victim, when and how.
"That's a nice pigeon there eating some bread. *gasp* THE KILLER WAS THE BIRD LADY!"

Also, this injured pose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYfwTBOYPgc (0:50 ->)

 

[Soods]

The suspicious guy betrays you. I DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING :OOO

 

[Vault101]

Quite simply, this thread is a list of things they do in all sorts fictional stories, from games to books to movies, that irritate you when repeated. Example:

Quote from Yahtzee: "why is it that after any sort of apocalypse, people rush to strap severed animal heads to pots and pans? I mean how hard would it be to loot your local walmart or mall for clothes".

See where this is going?

Nevermind that. Why does EVERY post apocalyptic setting have to be so BROWN, I mean seriously, the bandits survive (despite nobody liking them or wanting to trade with them, there is more bandits than non-criminals) and yet no PLANTS survive the great offscreen war.

Would it kill devs to not make the entire world a fucking desert for once?!

to be fair the situation in Fallout is caused by Nuclear bombs..so I imaging radiation might kill off alot of living stuff (mabye?)

or if you look at Mad Max which heavly influenced "post-apocaliptic" as we know it today its set in outback Australia...which is very brown as it is (or red)

OR often the reason for a post-apocaliptic situation might be that we the humans have somhow destroyed the environment...soooo that would be the reason for browness

 

[AngloDoom]

Man and woman's eyes meet across the room.

WE ARE IN LOVE NAOW.

 

[Exerzet]

Standard anime protagonists being A) Perverted and B) Lacking a backbone. For fuck's sake!

Also, why is it that in this day of internets-on-cellphones do the male anime protagonist feel the need to have a physical copy of a porn-mag hidden under their futon?

These ALWAYS piss me off.

So does the gravity-defying monster-titties on fighting girls. They are supposed to be more muscly and less fatty, which is why the boobs are first to get diminished. They are NEVER supposed to be bigger than their heads ><

 

[t3h br0th3r]

The church being evil. The priest is a gay pedo, and it's always a man. Christians being racist, sexist, narrow-minded people that will kill you on the spot. Same goes for Muslims being terrorist. British guy is usually the bad guy. Atheists are smarter then everyone. Black people being Gs, white people are the uncool evil losers. Big strong dude gets the sexy girl.

This very much. Why is it that black people must always be 'hard' or the slag spitting comic relief.

also: the zombie Apocalypse is pretty played. it is always sent in a developed country in the present where a zombie outbreak would be handled in-house by the police before it got beyond one or two towns.

the whole thing makes no sense unless you have a litch/necromancer controlling them.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

"It's quiet. A little TOO quiet.?

>_>

It's the line characters say when the writers know the audience knows exactly what's about to happen.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Pretty much the same thing. But yeah, any character who feels the need to actually VOICE something the viewer should be feeling. It's unnecessary.

Hmm. We're looking for something incredibly dangerous that has already murdered half of us and scattered their entrails about the place... I know! Let's split up to look for it! I'm sure nothing horrendously gruesome will happen to the guy that we've all been saying was going to die from the start.

This. WHY split up? It's always touted as being the best thing to do but it NEVER IS.

I hate any arbitrary reason for group members to split up. This also includes incredibly convenient "accidents" such as someone falling off something high and being presumed dead. Later on they are miraculously alive and now available to provide the viewer/reader with an alternative viewpoint away from the other cast members. It just annoys me!

British accents being somewhat related to being bad guys! And also, when they are used, not really sounding british at all!

Or the fact that EVERY British accent is generally Cockney or West Country. We don't ALL come from London/Cornwall you know.

im surprised no one's said good vs evil or light vs darkness, yet. Alan Wake is the most recent offender with harry potter right behind him. i mean my god its so annoying to assume that light = good and darkness is EVIL!!

I'm going to have to contend your Harry Potter comment I'm afraid.

Harry Potter was really more about love, which isn't much better as far as cliches are concerned. Harry was protected by his mother's love and Voldemort was twisted to evil simply because he did not experience the same love as a child. Harry fought against Voldemort despite insurmountable odds because he believed in something, the love of his friends. Voldemort sought to destroy because he saw nothing good to preserve.

The "Dark Wizards" are not bad simply because they are "evil", they follow Voldemort through fear mostly or because they share the belief that all wizards/witches should be pureblood. Even Belatrix, who could be considered absolutely evil, follows Voldemort with a sort of twisted admiration, she looks up to him. Voldemort doesn't want to kill wizards and witches, not really, because he believes magical people superior to muggles. His motivations are more about prejudice after having poor experiences as a child with muggles.

So yeah, although it can be simplified as light and dark, good and evil, there are layers in Harry Potter and I don't believe anyone acts "evil" simply because that is their given alignment.

 

[Xaio30]

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?"

I get physical injuries from the following cringing.

 

[BoTTeNBReKeR]

It annoys me when the evil guy kills a relative or loved one of the protagonist and suddenly it's deeemed completely acceptable for the protagonist to kill a dozen people just so he can revenge his relative/loved one.

 

[Johann610]

Dulcinea effect. She skates by in your dreams, and suddenly you risk life and limb to get her. She's cleaning the bar when you get your beer, suddenly you're her champion. The hero is a single, loner type, but ONE GIRLY SCREAM, and his head turns like a baby's!
By the same token, treating these women as though they are NOT people. They are--that's why the hero was avoiding them until now. But suddenly, before this new threat--powerless, struck dumb so the hero can rescue them. Ugh.

A new one--all parties happen at The Coolest Club "Downtown". Does no one throw a house party? Is no one happy with the local dive bar that knows your name, pours the drinks strong, and maybe gives you the time of day? I know bowling's out of fashion, but it can be fun...sometimes?

 

[Patrick Buck]

I can't think of any spesifically, but this may help you skip over using them if you ever have to write a book/film!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Spend entire time building up a female character as a feminist don't need no man type, only to have her fall in love with a handsome white dude at the very end - Yeah... Fuck that.

well that does happen in real life, just look at Gloria Steinem and how she originally viewed marriage only later to get married herself. Here is a link to the subject:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=95874&page=1

 

[hwarang]

Nevermind that. Why does EVERY post apocalyptic setting have to be so BROWN, I mean seriously, the bandits survive (despite nobody liking them or wanting to trade with them, there is more bandits than non-criminals) and yet no PLANTS survive the great offscreen war.

Would it kill devs to not make the entire world a fucking desert for once?!

Broken with one word: Waterworld.
And I am so sorry for forcing you to remember that film.

To keep on topic does anyone else think that the most overused line in action movies of the 80's is "we got company!" ?
When you read it in your head you even hear in Harrison Ford's voice don't you? Don't you?

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Protagonist B: "You go on ahead, I'll handle this."

Protagonist A: "No way! You can't possibly-"

Protagonist B "GO! Don't you have to save *Insert name of love interest*?!"

*Protagonist A reluctantly walks away, dramatic music plays*

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

British accents being somewhat related to being bad guys! And also, when they are used, not really sounding british at all!

England's history is to blame for that

 

[Matimus]

1) Though I tend to take them with not so much a pinch as the entire annual output of the salt mine, stories set in an American high school in which pretty, athletic people are treated like some sort of golden demigods, and anyone else is a blundering, graceless serf. I just hate it when they have a main character who's outside the popular set, but who's desperate to break in, when the people they want to impress and to be friends with are visibly a pack of vacuous bastards. I don't want this undiscerning fuck as my protagonist, get me someone with a functioning sense of proportion, please.

Often, I'll grant you, they do make it into the it-crowd, then find out it's all hollow and meaningless, and They've Learned Something and blah blah blah. But as far as I'm concerned, if you really want to be friends with a coterie of cunts because it'll improve your social standing, then you're a pretty much a **** as well. Argueably worse, as you're not even honest about your cuntery.

2) When a story, either via dialogue or narrative, likens a romance to Romeo and Juliet. Favourably.

Hell, whenever anything quotes Shakespeare out of context and misses the point. I think the worst is "The world is [pronoun] oyster" being said as if it means "Your opportunities are limitless! Go for it!". The original line is "The world's mine oyster, which I with blade shall open!". Basically "If I want something, I'll just take it, and fuck anyone who tries to stop me."

3) When a Magical setting, artifact, individual or event is explained away with some kind of rational explaination. It was an hallucination, or elaborate trickery, or alien technology (seriously, how the fuck is that any more realistic than a wizard doing it?). I've seen it done well a few times, in a way that genuinely enhances a story (notably Mogworld), but nine times out of ten it's a jarring yank straight out of the story's arse

4) The notion of "saving Christmas". You know, fictional pillock du jour has to take over The Duty from Father Christmas, and they either breeze through it or bumble a bit but eventually get the job done. This was averted surprisingly well by Family Guy, of all things. There's also a great Doctor Who short story in which The Doctor tells Father Christmas that, due to humanity colonising outer space, Santa's Workshop eventually ends up as an ice planet covered in factories in order to keep up with the demand. The Doctor has a go being Santa. He is Not Good At It.

5) Pussyfooting around the word "Death" and its variations. "He didn't make it", and the like. A silent, grim-faced shake of the head is preferably to that pseudo-poetic horsepiss.