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Dude I'm in the same bout as you but I'm 19 and its my first date. What I'm going too do is wait and look into things a bit more. I'm not crazy about sex nor an I in a rush too have it. So wait and see how thing go. If good and you want to go for it go theres nothing stopping you. If not and you think you need too get to know her more go on another date and see if you like her thqat much. PS good luck on the date hope this helped.
Just don't make it obvious and let things take their course...
As for dating girls I don't like, I don't do it. I'd consider myself spineless if I said yes to someone I didn't like.
As for dating girls I don't like, I don't do it. I'd consider myself spineless if I said yes to someone I didn't like.
Well if it is for casual sex on both end then that is perfectly cool, just don't go crushing someones feeling to get you willy wet.
How to explain you are in it only for fun? Well whichever way you say it it will be rude and you would most likely ruin it.
I think it should be shown in the date progression, you go out bar/club have lots of fun, maybe a drink or two to soften the mood(no I don't mean getting drunk), then you take her back to your place and see if things can progress or not.
If she is reluctant I wouldn't press the matter, she is then most likely aiming at something more long-term and you need to figure out if that is feasible.
Also starting a conversation about casual sex on your date wouldn't hurt, you get to see her views on the matter and she can see your inclination(unlike guys they do know how to read people).
How to explain you are in it only for fun? Well whichever way you say it it will be rude and you would most likely ruin it.
I think it should be shown in the date progression, you go out bar/club have lots of fun, maybe a drink or two to soften the mood(no I don't mean getting drunk), then you take her back to your place and see if things can progress or not.
If she is reluctant I wouldn't press the matter, she is then most likely aiming at something more long-term and you need to figure out if that is feasible.
Also starting a conversation about casual sex on your date wouldn't hurt, you get to see her views on the matter and she can see your inclination(unlike guys they do know how to read people).
Ask her point blank. People need to be more forward about things and every little thing counts. My motto is "Say what you mean and mean what you say."
Ask in a nice manner what her intentions are?
It´s not rude to ask that. It is however rude to ask blundly if she wants sex. That´s only ok if you know her really well.
It´s not rude to ask that. It is however rude to ask blundly if she wants sex. That´s only ok if you know her really well.
To me, this merely seems like a relationship of passion (ergo, sex and having a good social time).
I doubt that what she is aiming for here is a soulmate or whatever, taken from your small description.
So don't you worry, and have one of your greatest times alive with that broad.
'Course it will meet its end, the relationship... But you can't often tell how those turn out.
I doubt that what she is aiming for here is a soulmate or whatever, taken from your small description.
So don't you worry, and have one of your greatest times alive with that broad.
'Course it will meet its end, the relationship... But you can't often tell how those turn out.
If she also wants casual sex. Things will lean towards it. If it does. Ask what her intentions are if it happens. If she says it is well likly you. If it doesn't you can still ask her but she might take it wrongly. You got to judge the situation well. It wouldn't be the first thing I bring up though. Your smart enough though to know when you should.
Sex is'nt everything(well..) - If anything sex complicate's things further.
Don't be stupid about it.
You say casual - But as i said sex _will_ complicate 'it'.
Move along don't string her along - Find someone else to do the dirty with and or r/ship with.
Don't be stupid about it.
You say casual - But as i said sex _will_ complicate 'it'.
Move along don't string her along - Find someone else to do the dirty with and or r/ship with.
Yeah, i've done this before just for bored lonely sex and you do feel like a dick when they fall in love with you and you get hurt when you see something in them aswell, sex changes everything!!! I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my best friend and I havent seen her since...4 years now.....for example. However in your case I must say get off the fu**ing computer and find a girl! jeeeezzz you're 20!Renee Lawrence said:
Well, considering the title of this thread is 'girls you don't really like', I think you're going to have to be honest with her right from the outset and say you're only interested in sex, not a relationship. You mention in your OP that you're confident and socially capable, so it could theoretically have been your personality she was attracted to; you most certainly do not want to string her along on that only to then turn around and say you're only in it for the sex. :/
And no, I'm not condemning casual sex. I just think the OP needs to be a little more honest than he is being right now.
And no, I'm not condemning casual sex. I just think the OP needs to be a little more honest than he is being right now.
Make it obvious that you don't want to date, otherwise its going to get worse. I made it known to a girl who wanted to be with me and we just ended up having casual sex a couple of times. We were both happy and she was glad I was honest. See how it goes for you.
It sounds like you've already gotten some good advice, but I'll throw in my opinion/experience as well.
When I was 16-years-old (just about to turn 17) I started seeing a girl I didn't like at all. However, at the time I had self esteem issues and never so much as held hands with a girl. So despite my knowing I shouldn't I started dating her because she expressed a lot of interest in me because I was "really cute and funny" apparently. This was new to me and I was desperate for human connection as I'd never even been very good at making friends.
So about three months into the relationship we started having sex on a regular basis. The problem was that I didn't like it... at all, but again self esteem issues. I continued to date her until I was 19-years-old when we finally broke up. Over the course of our relationship I hated her more and more and then started hating myself. After we broke up I changed myself a lot by dressing better, keeping a better appearance, and being friendly and confident. Despite this I had problems when it came to sex and relationships. Just the thought of being with another person gave me weird little anxiety attacks.
Eventually (when I was twenty, nearly twenty) I started seeing another girl that I actually like... a lot. It took me a good while to start feeling sexually comfortable in that relationship because of all the negativity I associated with sex. However, once I got past that my girlfriend and I started sharing an awesome sex life and what not.
Basically don't have sex with someone you don't like, especially if it'll be your first time. It does more harm then good. Having sex with someone you actually really like is an experience worth waiting. I wish almost every day that I had waited.
Anyway, sorry to give you my life story and I realize it is a bit different than your situation, but I figured it may help.
When I was 16-years-old (just about to turn 17) I started seeing a girl I didn't like at all. However, at the time I had self esteem issues and never so much as held hands with a girl. So despite my knowing I shouldn't I started dating her because she expressed a lot of interest in me because I was "really cute and funny" apparently. This was new to me and I was desperate for human connection as I'd never even been very good at making friends.
So about three months into the relationship we started having sex on a regular basis. The problem was that I didn't like it... at all, but again self esteem issues. I continued to date her until I was 19-years-old when we finally broke up. Over the course of our relationship I hated her more and more and then started hating myself. After we broke up I changed myself a lot by dressing better, keeping a better appearance, and being friendly and confident. Despite this I had problems when it came to sex and relationships. Just the thought of being with another person gave me weird little anxiety attacks.
Eventually (when I was twenty, nearly twenty) I started seeing another girl that I actually like... a lot. It took me a good while to start feeling sexually comfortable in that relationship because of all the negativity I associated with sex. However, once I got past that my girlfriend and I started sharing an awesome sex life and what not.
Basically don't have sex with someone you don't like, especially if it'll be your first time. It does more harm then good. Having sex with someone you actually really like is an experience worth waiting. I wish almost every day that I had waited.
Anyway, sorry to give you my life story and I realize it is a bit different than your situation, but I figured it may help.
- Mar 31, 2010
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Not good advice in my opinion, some people take longer than others to find someone their happy to have sex with, 20's quite young really.Boletes Net said:
OP: Don't feel pressured to have casual sex just so you've "done it", it's fine to wait until you meet someone you really like ;-)
