Coloured men don't cheat - *UPDATED* 29/10/11

[Amplify]

Update 29/10/11:
I managed to ask my sister about it this morning to clarify some of the vaguer points based upon feedback from the thread and to show her what information [http://anepigone.blogspot.com/2010/03/infidelity-rates-by-ethnicity.html] I [http://anepigone.blogspot.com/2009/05/black-asian-men-most-least-likely-to_08.html] have [http://www.alternet.org/sex/81022/?page=entire] so [http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_n1_v54/ai_21270363/?tag=content;col1] far [http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/news/trends/african-americans-and-marriage.aspx?artid=1176], here's what I've found out from her;

Q: What do you mean by 'half-caste' men exactly?
A: Muslims and Arabic men specifically, I don't mean black men.

Q: When you say that most white men cheat, is this based upon some previous dating experience from when you were younger that I don't know about?
A: No, it's in comparison to Muslims and you see it all the time on TV about how X cheated on Y, but you never hear about any Muslim men cheating on their wife.

Q: Tiger Woods.
A: He's just one man, there are always one or two.

I have to admit I've not heard of Muslims cheating so I couldn't just refute her there, also the [/url=http://anepigone.blogspot.com/2010/03/infidelity-rates-by-ethnicity.html]best[/url] list of statistics that has been suggested so far didn't include any devout Muslim countries on the list. This may be because those countries tend to be insular or because Muslims wouldn't want to admit to it or perhaps they truly don't cheat, I don't know.

Is she right on that at all? I'm unsure. None of the statistics suggested so far mention those countries.

(Also, if there's a term that people would prefer I use than "Muslim" please tell me.)

-------------------------------------------
OP:

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

How true is this statement to you, fellow escapists? If it turns out to be true, fine. If it's untrue, then I'll have evidence I can present to her as a result of this thread.


So I ask you all:
Do you have any surveys or statistics or studies or similar that show how often relationships with 'half-caste' men end due to infidelity? Alternately do you have any stories from a friend where a 'half-caste' guy was caught cheating or similar?

Alternately escapist girls; do you have any personal stories where a 'half-caste' guy was caught cheating on you or similar?


Thanks for any replies, everybody.

*EDIT*

Adding my reply from page 3 here so everyone can see it.

-----------------------------------

Just to clarify a little, I care about her and want the best for her but personally I do think she's a fool for her little policy. I'm not even 100% sure if that is her "true" reason for it but it's the one I've gotten out of her.

Now, I'd like to hopefully talk some sense into her if at all possible. I know she trusts what I say but this is primarily because she knows that I don't say anything on a whim, I always check my facts and if at all possible back up what I say with evidence of some kind.

Mind you; this is a woman who married a guy from Algeria so that he could get into the country, had two daughters with him who spent a decade there most of that time with her daughters and learning Arabic while their father lived in England, came back to England, divorced him, went through a dozen different (muslims? Islamic? unsure of the proper term here) and black guys in the space of a month that she brought back to my living room (which is when I first asked about her dating habits), went back to the first guy and now sees him again on and off. OhgodIdon'tevenknow.

But in short I need something I can say or show to her to back my words up, I've yet to give her a response on the matter because I didn't actually know for sure if it was true or not without hard evidence to back it up. If I don't have the facts, I won't speak.

*snip*

What the hell got her to think this?
People cheat on their partner, color has nothing to do with it.

I wish I knew, it may be she had some sort of a bad relationship experience when she was younger but I've never pried too deeply into that.

I have seen many episodes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer that would disagree with this assertion.

That's really more my mother's specialty than mine, but is there any good particular clip or episode of it you could recommend on youtube?

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

I'd think the increased HIV/AIDS rates in blacks would paint a different picture, honestly.

I mean, there's no one reason HIV gets spread, so you cant attribute it all to sex, but one of the MAJOR causes of the prevalence of HIV in blacks in the States is sex. And if you think they're all getting it from monogamous partnerships, you're damn naive.

"You" being in the general sense, not "you" specifically.

It's hard to say this stuff without risking coming off as racist. Which is ironic, because I get called "PC" all the time on here from people who don't understand what Political Correctness actually is. So apparently I'm both overly defensive of minorities and racist. Or whatever.

Anyway, whatever the evangelicals are telling you, you don't get HIV just for being a sinner. If all black people (or even all black men) were monogamous, it would be a HUGE inhibitor to the spread of HIV. Not a preventative, since it's still possible for the spread through sex, and there's always drug use, etc., but it would cut out one of the MAJOR risk factors.

I don't know about any other racial background. I've never looked into the fidelity of people by colour, and I don't really care to. Blacks are at the highest risk for HIV infections out of any "racial" group in this country, and I'd be curious to see what her rebuttal is to that alone.

I mean, the only response I can think of is that "they all use drugs," and that's racist, stupid, and just plain wrong.

HIV rates is a good point, I'll have to point that out to her when I do talk to her about this. Of course I'll need to check a few facts first but yeah.

...Wow. "Coloured?" Really? You couldn't think of anything better to name this topic?

It's a direct quote of her words, not mine. Hence the title.

To be honest, I think it's garbage she's feeding you to mask the fact that she believes that colored people have BBCs and she just wants some. Make sense to me. "I like them big, but I don't want you to know that, so I'll just say that colored people don't cheat! That seems much more appropriate!"

It could well be, but that's what I have to work with here and I can't really say any differently unless I can prove otherwise.

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

Ask your sister (no offence please please) did she made it with EVERY black male on the Earth ?
Just curious.

I spent a month where most of the time if I went to my kitchen, I was likely to pass by her on the couch with a huge black guy with dreadlocks, a guy complete with bling who could have told me he was 50 Cent and I'd probably have believed him, an extra straight out of "Don't mess with the Zohan", etc. Sure feels like it.

its like saying white men will not seal your bike

Ok yeah, you got a chuckle out of me there.

Don't state things as fact unless there is actually a valid reason to believe that is is a fact.

Which is exactly why I'm looking for evidence to refute her right now. I didn't want to tell her before as it'd just be my opinion rather than a fact and I'm definitely not an expert on the matter.

*snip*

Honestly, you don't need statistics to prove her wrong. Her argument is basically that all (or even most) white men will cheat while men of other races will never cheat. Or in other words, 100% of white men cheat while 100% of other men never cheat.

Such a statement of certainty about the whole of diverse populations is complete nonsense on the face of it. If she actually believes this then she is unquestionably an idiot, and frankly, you have no need to even try to prove her wrong. Either challenge her to prove what she says has any validity, or simply wait for her to be (almost inevitably) proven wrong.

But if you really want evidence, then how about something fairly recent that I'm sure she's probably heard about: Tiger Woods. Enough said.

She took / let her daughters be taken to Algeria for over a decade of their childhood so that they could "learn Arabic", I really don't need evidence that she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. However, she's my sister and I do care about her so if I can talk her out of being an idiot then fantastic. Tiger Woods is a great example though, I'd forgotten about him so thanks for that.

Question! The hell do you care? No, really. So she only wants to date colored men, what's the problem? Do you really think showing her a bunch of stats and proof is going to do anything other than get her to respond "Way to be racists, asshole!"

Because she will listen to what I say when she won't even listen to our mother or anybody else, If I can persuade some sense into her life then fantastic but this subject in particular I'm not qualified to talk to anybody about unless I get some of the facts first. I'd rather try and talk her out of it than see her get hurt at some point down the line because of it.

Also please... don't use the word coloured. Like the word 'half-caste' a lot of people still use it because they've been brought up using it like it's not a problem, but it gets a lot of people's backs up. After all, you're not pure white and colourless, are you? You're pinky orange. (Unless you're an albino, perhaps, but you get my point.) Some black and Asian people might not mind, or use it themselves, but the ones who do mind REALLY mind.

I'll try to if possible, it's just the title was a direct quote. 'half-caste' though is one I've never heard of before, primarily due to having always previously steered clear of the topic of racism and political-correctness like the plague.

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That's what I have to reply to from the first page at least, felt I should post this much before I consider making it any longer.

 

[rednose1]

Some people have just very odd beliefs that they hold true, no matter what. I knew a guy that would argue against anyone that black people could run faster because they had an extra leg muscle.

 

[JoJo]

I'm white, I don't cheat. I don't have any studies to show but her attitude is racism pure and simple, not much more I can say about it.

 

[Blunderboy]

When are people going to realize that nothing is ever true of every member of a race/religion/country?

 

[MercurySteam]

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

Textbook stupidity combined with racism. No other words for it.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Of course it's not true, it's a massive generalisation.

Ok, perhaps people from certain cultures might be more likely to cheat than others, but skin tone does not equate to culture.

On the other hand, you could look at statistics, and say that demographic X is Y% less likely to cheat than demographic Z, I suppose. Not much of an indication for any given individual, though.

 

[Lyri]

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

How true is this statement to you, fellow escapists? If it turns out to be true, fine. If it's untrue, then I'll have evidence I can present to her as a result of this thread.


So I ask you all:
Do you have any surveys or statistics or studies or similar that show how often relationships with coloured men end due to infidelity? Alternately do you have any stories from a friend where a coloured guy was caught cheating or similar?

Alternately escapist girls; do you have any personal stories where a coloured guy was caught cheating on you or similar?


Thanks for any replies, everybody.

What the hell got her to think this?
People cheat on their partner, color has nothing to do with it.

 

[Woodsey]

Your sister is an idiot. I'm not entirely sure what else to say; the fact that you feel she needs to have "evidence" presented to her before she'd change her mind says it all.

 

[Kermi]

I have seen many episodes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer that would disagree with this assertion.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Some people have just very odd beliefs that they hold true, no matter what. I knew a guy that would argue against anyone that black people could run faster because they had an extra leg muscle.

There was a theory that the shape of the average black African's feet and ankles might be better suited to running on a flat surface than Europeans, because of adaption to different environments.

However, any essential physiological statement about 'black people' makes no sense, there's more genetic diversity between different 'black' ethnic groups in Africa than there is between virtually any other ethnic group worldwide.

I think it's considered slightly racist to try and claim that black people are essentially good and running. That said, it's kind of dodgy nowadays to call people 'coloured', unless you're intentionally writing about a white dominated racial system in which every 'non white' person is mysteriously grouped together into a collective mass.

As a result, it doesn't matter whether you are white, black or green; cultural differences aside, people cheat on each other regardless; its because they think they've found something better than you.

People cheat on each other for all kinds of reasons. This is just one.

 

[Colour Scientist]

What the hell got her to think this?
People cheat on their partner, color has nothing to do with it.

Can't say it much better than this. Your sister sounds a bit naive to be honest.
I don't even understand how people think race would affect that type of behaviour.
The mind boggles.


White men/women cheat
Black men/women cheat
Asian men/women cheat
Arabic men/women cheat
Hispanic men/women cheat
etc...

 

[kouriichi]

Oh yeah, totally, we also have buckets of fried chicken in the fridge, and guzzle Purple Drank like its liquid gold. Dont forget about the watermelon we eat while cashing our welfare checks.

Honesly, 99% of what i just said was a lie. I hold a decent job, HATE fried chicken, and i cant stand grape flavored drinks. ((though i do like watermelon....))
African Americans, or even just Africans are human. They are capable of doing what any other human can do. From being president of the USA, to scum of the earth, cheating on their girlfriend, black people are capable of being it all, just like any other race.

Now, i live in Michigan, one of the epicenters of the black community, "Motown".
And i will tell you right now, black people do cheat >.>; all i ever hear about is "OH~! That cheating rat gunna die!", or "Can you believe he would cheat on me?"
Hell, even my grandfather on my mothers side ((who is blacker then an enderman's soul)) cheated on my grand mother. He pays child support for half a dozen children!

Black people are human. Im one of them. While i myself would never cheat, i also never drink or smoke, dont listen to rap music and use the word "neat" every so often.

 

[Scrustle]

What the hell? That's the weirdest reason I've ever heard to date anyone. It also has a bit of whiff of racism about it to me, against whites actually. How faithful you are has nothing to do with race.

 

[Something Amyss]

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

I'd think the increased HIV/AIDS rates in blacks would paint a different picture, honestly.

I mean, there's no one reason HIV gets spread, so you cant attribute it all to sex, but one of the MAJOR causes of the prevalence of HIV in blacks in the States is sex. And if you think they're all getting it from monogamous partnerships, you're damn naive.

"You" being in the general sense, not "you" specifically.

It's hard to say this stuff without risking coming off as racist. Which is ironic, because I get called "PC" all the time on here from people who don't understand what Political Correctness actually is. So apparently I'm both overly defensive of minorities and racist. Or whatever.

Anyway, whatever the evangelicals are telling you, you don't get HIV just for being a sinner. If all black people (or even all black men) were monogamous, it would be a HUGE inhibitor to the spread of HIV. Not a preventative, since it's still possible for the spread through sex, and there's always drug use, etc., but it would cut out one of the MAJOR risk factors.

I don't know about any other racial background. I've never looked into the fidelity of people by colour, and I don't really care to. Blacks are at the highest risk for HIV infections out of any "racial" group in this country, and I'd be curious to see what her rebuttal is to that alone.

I mean, the only response I can think of is that "they all use drugs," and that's racist, stupid, and just plain wrong.

 

[Febel]

...Wow. "Coloured?" Really? You couldn't think of anything better to name this topic?

Ot: Society has more influence on whether or not someone will cheat than race. Perhaps people raised in an African or middle eastern community are taught that monogamy is more important. Or something.

 

[DiMono]

I think she needs to watch some episodes of Maury Pauvich or Jerry Springer.

 

[UltraXan]

I'm faithful, and last time I checked, I'm white. She has *no* idea what the fuck she thinks she knows. To be honest, I think it's garbage she's feeding you to mask the fact that she believes that colored people have BBCs and she just wants some. Make sense to me. "I like them big, but I don't want you to know that, so I'll just say that colored people don't cheat! That seems much more appropriate!"

 

[JesterRaiin]

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

Ask your sister (no offence please please) did she made it with EVERY black male on the Earth ?
Just curious.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

The colour of your skin is totally an indication on whether or not you'll cheat.