come up with a funny piece of loot for my RPG

[7moreDead_v1legacy]

Extravagant blade of grass.
*A really long and really green bit of grass*

Range: 1
Cost: 0
Damage:0-100
(May cause allergic reactions)

 

[WorldCritic]

Orb of Obedience
Description: Use your imagination

Potato Chip
Effect: +50 Awesomeness/-10 Hunger

Super Mushroom
Description: Increases all stats by 200, but also causes instant death.

 

[Maveron]

The Broad Sword
Range:1
cost: 4
Damage: 5
Can only be used by a female character

The search warrant (wand)
range 1
cost: 5
opens any door on touch

the +1 flaming, frost sword
Range: 1
cost: 1
Damage: 1
Description: It seems to have melted...

The negotiator
Range: 2
Cost: 2
Damage: 2
Description: It appears to be a 2x4. With a nail in it

 

[Raikov]

"Ring of Shrapnel"
Must be equipped on finger, must be the only effect in play.

Range: touch
Radius: 15
Cost: none
Cooldown: 20 minutes
Damage: 1200

Description: There seems to be a small amount of blood on this ring. Probably from the previous owner...

 

[RobCoxxy]

Crusty sock.

 

[C117]

Cake.

Description: "It's not a lie."

 

[subject_87]

Cheeseburger bombs, walrus cannon, giant lobster claws strapped to the hands.
Your argument is invalid.

 

[KEM10]

Sword of Over Exaggerated Proportions
range: 2
cost: *
dmg: 5 (massive change for crit fails due to its unwieldy nature)

 

[tthor]

"A Big Ass Rock" (p)
range: 1
cost: 10
dmg: 30
(Can crush through blocks)
*Description: A big ass rock. works well at smashing things, tho its a bit heavy

<youtube=2X2JYAJoAmc>

I don't know much about roleplaying, so you may need to rebalance the stats lol

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Sharp Metal Club - (p)
Range - 1
Damage - 8
Range - 1
Effect - 10% chance of wounding
*This incredibly sharp, thin club is made of metal sharpened on each side and has a special handle to hold it with. It's the greatest club you've ever seen!

Stinky Spear - (p)
Range - 2
Damage - 10
Range - 2
Effect - 50% chance of inflicting poison, -5% party speed, vulnerable to Lysol
*Somebody dipped the blade in something nasty. I'm not touching it, you go stand over there if you want to use it.

Barrel of Concealment - (p)
Armor - 2 (body)
Effect - Nudity -100%
*Barrel and two straps? At least Krognar the Defiler isn't running around naked now.

 

[Jim Grim]

Nostril-hair of Agbar.
Range:0.0001
Cost:3
Damage:3

 

[DaemonicShadow]

The Memezmerizer
Range:1000
Cost: 20 gold a month for broadband
Effect:Cause all enemy players to begin firin' lazers while singing Rick Astley. Side effects may include cats gaining captions while they are in humourous positions.

 

[IronDefender410]

(Insert clever name here) of (Insert clever name here)
Range: Random
Cost: 2
DMG: Random
"It seems that the creator got lazy and never finished this weapon. Does random DMG type for random damage and random range. Say that three times fast."

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

I think it was Munchkin that had th "Freudian Slippers." They let you get out of spells and traps aimed at your specific race/class/gender.

 

[Heart of Darkness]

I think it was Munchkin that had th "Freudian Slippers." They let you get out of spells and traps aimed at your specific race/class/gender.

Dammit. I go to give someone a ride, and thirty minutes later, someone ninjas me.

But yeah, do:
Freudian Slippers (p)
0/2
Effect: Everything is now a cigar joke.

 

[HT_Black]

Questionably Legal Fetish Outfit of Great [character's alignment here](p)
Unique Item
Armor: 1 (buttocks/groin), 3 (legs), 1 (facial region)
Cost: It's light armor, you twit. Just use the usual penalty!
Effect: Every enemy who has a clear line of sight to this item's wearer suffers a -5 chance to hit against all targets due to extreme embarrassment, and an additional -1 penatly for every square foot it moves closer to the wearer. Additionally, this item has a 1d20 chance of inflicting uncontrollable vomiting against farmers, puritans, and people who don't frequently use the internet.

Alarmingly Large Suggestively Shaped Object (p)
Range: 2
Damage: 3
Cost: 1
Effects: Inflict a -1 chance to hit with every successful strike made against an enemy. This effect is cumulative.

Radiator Moonshine(c)
Add 5% to the user's health. For the next three turns, the user has a 20% resistance to damage and a halved chance to hit.

 

[tthor]

Schrodinger's Cat (c)
range: 5
cost: 1
damage: roll dice: if odd number, 0 damage. if even number, 25 damage

*description: you're not sure whether the cat is alive and just sleeping, or if its dead. best way to find out is to hurl it as hard as you can at a target. If its alive, it'll probably severely claw up the target, and run off. If dead, you'll only gross out the target a little at the fact that a dead cat just got hurled at him

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

cup. (c)
Range-10
Damage-0
Effect- Stun, -100 willpower
* If there are 2 female party members present the cup can be used to perform a shocking spectacle that will stun and shock all enemies who bear witness.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Cheeseburger of lolcats

Thrown weapon, summons a shitload of wheezy rofly cats to distract the target who gets splatted by said cheeseburger.

 

[kiwisushi]

Cheese Knife

Range 1
Power 1
Description - Equally able to cut bree and cheddar. Even has a prongy bit to pick up the cheese.

Tin foil hat of alien protection

Defence 0
Description - Stops them aliens from stealing your thoughts! In a very fashionable cone shape.

Source of antigravity
Rare item
Description - A rare mid air collision of buttered toast and falling cat has created the ultimate spinning paradox.