Comebacks to Old anoying jokes.

[I am Jack's profile]

do you have any comebacks to old anoying jokes.

An Example, I ask sombody for the time and somtimes they respond with "time to get a new watch."

to which i respond "Time to get a new joke"

Does anybody have any simular comebacks

 

[RUINER ACTUAL]

i guess you could punch them in the face. unless theyre old. and usually old people say that kind of stuff...sooo dont do that.

 

[Romicron]

In a similar line, I have a good antijoke that I use sometimes. "A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. They leave with a better understanding of each other's faith."

If someone tells a bad joke, I just use the alf laugh. HA!

 

[Manhattan2112]

I'm having a hard time understanding what you're looking for. People like, never say these things, other than the one you said. But I'm good at comebacks. You give me one, and I'll think of a great one.

 

[inglioti]

i think the best way to react is to stare at them for a moment longer than normally appropriate and change topic quickly. ignore it and move on.

one of my friends does it and it drives me insane - one of the words i seem to say a lot when drunk is "intense" and he asks "do you know what else is intense? CAMPING!"

someone come up with a comeback to that before i end up on the news for murder.

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

time to make a better thread?

Seriously though I always respond to such responses with "No, it's Hammertime"

aside from that...

 

[Orange_Clockwork]

I hate it when people answer "Your Mom." It's juvenile and idiotic, but for the life of me, I cannot find a rebuttal, so I usually just walk away.

Also, contributing, the Xbox 360 spiteful joke: "Why is it called an Xbox 360?" "Because you turn 360 degress and walk away." Ask the person to turn 360 degrees.

 

[ethaninja]

Time to die?

 

[AquaAscension]

What about for "That's what she said?" Or has that not become cliched enough yet?

What he said...

Hrmmmm... as far as the "know what else is "in-tents" thing... well you could say "me with your (insert mom/significant other here)" (which is a dick move but a classic)

or you could take the word literally as "intense" and just say "my desire to destroy you/eat your soul/bury you in the woods/kick you/create your own insult/witty retort thing here." I'm attempting to formulate another comeback using the idea of an "intent" (i.e. a purpose of action) but it just doesn't work grammatically very well unless you wanted to pull a grammar Nazi card and say something to the effect of "your grammar should be taken off of life support..." then walk awkwardly away.

But I'm not one to come up with good comebacks so I'll stop right there.

 

[Lukeje]

You give me one, and I'll think of a great one.

You fight like a dairy farmer!

 

[Manhattan2112]

You give me one, and I'll think of a great one.

You fight like a dairy farmer!

"Dairy Farmer, eh? That's the exact reason your mother hired me."

 

[IrishBerserker]

You give me one, and I'll think of a great one.

You fight like a dairy farmer!

How appropriate, you fight like a yogurt.

OT: I just shake my head & continue or smack them.

 

[Jakkal]

I hate it when people answer "Your Mom." It's juvenile and idiotic, but for the life of me, I cannot find a rebuttal, so I usually just walk away.

Also, contributing, the Xbox 360 spiteful joke: "Why is it called an Xbox 360?" "Because you turn 360 degress and walk away." Ask the person to turn 360 degrees.

I usually hear "that's what i did with your mom last night", which is REALLY annoying. I just make sure they know theyre saying they got it on with a 60 year old

 

[sms_117b]

I hate it when people answer "Your Mom." It's juvenile and idiotic, but for the life of me, I cannot find a rebuttal, so I usually just walk away.

Also, contributing, the Xbox 360 spiteful joke: "Why is it called an Xbox 360?" "Because you turn 360 degress and walk away." Ask the person to turn 360 degrees.

I just say "your mum" this normally then lasts until they get fed up of saying it

I usually hear "that's what i did with your mom last night", which is REALLY annoying. I just make sure they know theyre saying they got it on with a 60 year old

To that I normally say, "Dude, we're mother lover brothers!"

To "It's time you got a watch" I say "it's time to replace that filling"

 

[TangyTooTall101]

I heard really good comebacks to the that's what she said, to the point where the comebacks have their own comebacks!

"That's what she said."
"Too bad she lied."
"And that's why she left you"
"And that's why she came back begging for more"
"And that's why she's DEAD!"

*awkward pause* lol... it stops making sense after the second one...

But one time in my friend's summer school math class, this annoying kid would ALWAYS say "That's what she said!" and everyone hated him until one day, someone just couldn't take it anymore...

*chick gets back her math test and completely bombed it*
Chick: *sigh*
Chick's Friend: Ouch... that hurts...
Annoying guy: That's what she said!
Chick's Friend: DOES SHE EVER TELL YOU TO STFU?!?!

epic owned...

 

[A Weary Exile]

"I really like this meat.'

"That's what your mom said!"

"My mom killed herself."

"........."

Make them feel like the biggest douce in the world.