Dear George Lucas,
Jar-Jar Binks, Midichlorians, pod-races that go on for 20 minutes too long, lightsaber battles that go on for 20 minutes too long, the agonizingly fake romance between Anakin and Padme, and quite possibly the silliest mood-killing big NOOOO in history. These and a few other things are the reasons why I think you need to be taken out of the movie-making business entirely.
However, you give generously to multiple charities, you serve as a mentor to young movie-makers, and as much as I don't like the prequels, you still made Star Wars, which has spawned an expanded universe and cult following the likes of which very, VERY few have managed to attain.
So, you know, it all evens out.
Dear Call of Duty,
I hate you, the people that think you're the greatest thing to happen in the history of video games, and what you've done to negatively influence the FPS genre and (Western) gaming in general by making brown&gray so damn cool.
On the other hand, there's no denying that you've come closer to pure FPS perfection than many other games of your type. I may speak ill of you, but don't for a second think that you are anything less than a great franchise.
Dear Madden,
See above. Replace the bit about brown&gray with ripping people off by making miniscule updates to stats, player modes and anything else normally found in DLC into brand new games. Still a damn good football game.
Dear rule 34,
There are a LOT of things I wish you didn't get your filthy mitts on, but I think I can overlook those in favor of providing all the stuff I DO want to see.
Dear technology,
You're improving so fast I was almost afraid to get this shiny new laptop with the cutting edge tech that'll be made old inside of a year. And yet, it's your rapid improvement that I love, too, because it means I'll be in space before I'm 50.
Dear Origin PC,
I spent about $3,200 on this laptop and it has a weak audio chip in it. On the other hand, EVERYTHING IS SO DAMN PRETTY!! I never really got the point of HD until I started playing everything in 1080 with the anti-aliasing and all the other details and graphics options set to uber and WOW this looks good. Also, this thing is built like a rock, I never knew a laptop could feel so sturdy and solid. So yeah, we're cool.
Dear World of Warcraft,
You have sucked up more time than I would ever admit. There were days when I literally had NOTHING to do so I would just run around Stormwind like a jackass. Some of my friends groaned and rolled their eyes when I told them I play. On the other hand, I found you at a time in my life when I had nothing else TO do, and I did meet a bunch of really great people through you. One of them is a pretty and wonderful young woman from Italy. You rock, WoW.
