Could You Date A Transexual?

[Sparrow]

No. Harsh as it may sound, and I've said this to transgendered people I am friends with, when it comes to sexual attraction I do not see transexuals as the gender they wish to be. If a man wants to be treated like a woman or visa versa, then that's ok. But while mentally I would consider them the gender of their choosing, physically and sexually I would not.

So, as a straight male, I could not be attracted to a MtF transexual. Although I don't think I could be attracted to a FtM transexual either, for completely the opposite reasons I've stated. If a woman thinks themselves a man and physically changes themselves to be so, I would not be attracted to them. Bit of a catch-22.

 

[Yopaz]

I'm going to be honest and say no. For one I would like to have kids some day and that would be impossible. I also imagine this wouldn't be a turn on for me.

 

[CellShaded]

Yup, I could and would date a transsexual(If I felt myself physically/emotionally attracted to them), if the opportunity presented itself. This post coulda used a poll. ^^

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

If I find her attractive, sure, boy-parts or not. I wouldn't date FtM trans though. The only hang up is children, but that's what adoption and artificial insemination is for.

Exactly... my parents couldn't not have children (or rather chose not to due to a genetic "condition" in my father family. They chose not to "spread it" to their bio children), so they adopted my self and my older brother.

 

[an annoyed writer]

As long as I am attracted to them, I don't see a problem. Men are easier to get along with; but I worry that the crazy amount of hormones required to make the switch would fuck with her newly acquired female brain. Then I'd be back to square one regarding whether or not I want to put up with this person.

And right there you've pretty much got it all wrong from a base standpoint. Pretty much all of us Transgendered people have the mental framework of the target sex, not the other way around. There's no such thing as a "newly acquired female brain": the brain is already female, the body is not. The therapies and surgeries are to physically align the body as much as possible with one's mental image and thought patterns. The hormone treatments help, not fuck up our brain chemistry.

 

[Phasmal]

I don't get all the people being like `It'd be like dating someone with a guy brain but a woman body`.
Because that's kind of not it at all...

As for myself, I'd have to say I don't know.
I'd like to say it wouldn't matter to me, but I guess you don't know until you're in the situation.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

As long as I am attracted to them, I don't see a problem. Men are easier to get along with; but I worry that the crazy amount of hormones required to make the switch would fuck with her newly acquired female brain. Then I'd be back to square one regarding whether or not I want to put up with this person.

And right there you've pretty much got it all wrong from a base standpoint. Pretty much all of us Transgendered people have the mental framework of the target sex, not the other way around. There's no such thing as a "newly acquired female brain": the brain is already female, the body is not. The therapies and surgeries are to physically align the body as much as possible with one's mental image and thought patterns. The hormone treatments help, not fuck up our brain chemistry.

Yep Yep... there have been studies reinforcing the "hormone wash" theory, and they "trans gene".

 

[OniaPL]

Most medical practitioners offer the service because it is kinda proven that the chromosomes don't make the man or woman, it's the hormone wash during fetal development. The brain forms a sexual blueprint then, and if that blueprint is different than the body, then people like us happen. Our brain chemistry is generally a match to the target sex, rather than to our origin.

Umm, could you fill me in on this one? As far as I know, what makes the physical differences in women and men are the fact that the chromosomes X and Y affect how the gonadotropins LH and FSH affect after the hypothalamus produces GnRH (in puberty) which gives the pituitary gland the order to produce these hormones. Based on the gender defined by X and Y chromosomes, the luteinizing hormones and the follicle-stimulating hormones effects are determined; for example on a boy LH starts up the production of hormones (mainly testosterone) while on a girl LH causes things such as ovulation.

So, as far as I know, chromosomes do make a man or a woman as kind of overlords since they control the whole process. How is it proven that chromosomes do not have a say in this? Am I missing some bit of knowledge?

Edit:
Or are you saying that the brains develop sexual patterns that the person is a slave to during the development of the fetus? But isn't that determined by the 23rd pair as well?

 

[Palmerama]

If I find her attractive, sure, boy-parts or not. I wouldn't date FtM trans though. The only hang up is children, but that's what adoption and artificial insemination is for.

Finally someone said it! All the posts about wanting kids and I was just thinking, "why not adopt?" There are thousands of children who need a good home and the social care system is terrible. However I think it would be harder for trnasgender people to adopt. Much like it is for gay people. The adoption process needs some serious overhaul.

Anyway theoretically I could. I've watched a program called 'My Transexual Summer'. In which Transgender people of varying stages stay together in a house for two summers and over the course of the year it follows these people in their lives and the prejudice they have to face. Some of it was very upsetting as one MtF hadn't her daughter for years since becoming a woman as her ex-wife won't let her near. Another was a MtF who had only just started and really didn't know what to do. While i've always been open minded and supportive of other sexualities it really annoyed me at how closed minded people can be in the 21st century. We're supposed to live in a civilised society.

 

[OctoH]

I've dated both men and women, so I don't think I would have too much of an issue with it. I guess it really depends on the person.

 

[bananafishtoday]

I think it's a bit weird how adamant people are to not allow other people to define their own identity when gender is involved. Gender identity isn't as rigid as people at large seem to want it to be, and even biological sex is not binary. Just look at all the various intersex conditions that exist.

Society demands people be Real Men? and Real Women?, ideal performances of gender roles that are impossible to attain. Most of the anti-transgender stuff is just a reaction to this: people fighting to defend the gender binary as a way to defend their place in it. It's threatening to some people to imagine gender not as a strict dichotomy that they fit neatly into, but as the act, the performance piece, that it actually is.

 

[verdant monkai]

No because I want kids.

I dont buy all the "sex change" business because after the procedure you aren't physically the opposite sex. A man cannot lactate or have kids, and a woman doesn't have sperm.

I have no problem with people who do it I just think it would be easier for them, if they came to terms with themselves, rather than have what they are dictated to them by what's in their pants.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Most medical practitioners offer the service because it is kinda proven that the chromosomes don't make the man or woman, it's the hormone wash during fetal development. The brain forms a sexual blueprint then, and if that blueprint is different than the body, then people like us happen. Our brain chemistry is generally a match to the target sex, rather than to our origin.

Umm, could you fill me in on this one? As far as I know, what makes the physical differences in women and men are the fact that the chromosomes X and Y affect how the gonadotropins LH and FSH affect after the hypothalamus produces GnRH (in puberty) which gives the pituitary gland the order to produce these hormones. Based on the gender defined by X and Y chromosomes, the luteinizing hormones and the follicle-stimulating hormones effects are determined; for example on a boy LH starts up the production of hormones (mainly testosterone) while on a girl LH causes things such as ovulation.

So, as far as I know, chromosomes do make a man or a woman as kind of overlords since they control the whole process. How is it proven that chromosomes do not have a say in this? Am I missing some bit of knowledge?

While you'd be right under normal circumstances, we are not under those normal circumstances. While the chromosomes generally do incite the production of those hormones in the first place, they do not incite self-creation of said hormones before puberty. To create the framework of the mind in the first place, a hormone wash happens in-uetero to lay out the base framework. Too much of one hormone, or not enough of one, or a wash of the opposite sex's hormone, creates a chemical imbalance that, for all intents and purposes, creates a brain that would normally be observed in the opposite sex's body. Chromosomes do not have complete control of what happens before puberty. That is why prepubescent transitioners look and behave much more naturally than post-pubescent transitioners: for all intents and purposes, they're working from something close to a blank slate. That's why most of us Transgendered people know by the time we're 4 or 5.

 

[Maevine]

I'm already married to a cisgender man with a baby on the way, so of course I'm not looking to date anyone right now, but hypothetically speaking, I'd have no problem with having an FtoM transsexual partner. If I'm attracted to them and love them as a person, what does it matter which sex they were born as?

Now, if my husband wanted to become a woman, I'd have a serious beef with that. I love him, but I'd cry if he ever shaved his beard or lost his man-parts. Without them, he honestly looks like a slightly taller version of myself. Add a pair of tits, and it would be like having sex with my clone o_0;; too much weird for me.

 

[Sunrider]

I gave this a lot of thought after having this very discussion with an acquaintance a while back. I still haven't come up with an answer. As much as it's wrong of me to have a prejudice against it, I can't seem to shake it completely. By prejudice, I mean in terms of me being able to date one, not that I feel like there's anything wrong with transsexual people. The fact that I even felt like I had to explain that makes me frustrated.
Disregarding children (I don't even know if I want any or not, but I'm leaning towards "want"), as someone said earlier, I doubt I'd even notice if it's "done right" (forgive me for that phrasing, it wasn't meant to offend), so I'm leaning towards "sure, why not?", but you just never know until you're met with the situation.

Wow, lots of quotation marks there. Maybe I should work on my English. Yes, yes I should.

 

[R.Nevermore]

I don't believe plastic surgery to alter the appearance of your penis makes it any less of a penis.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Well i'm married so it's not something that's likely to come up (unless me and the missus split but I doubt that's likely plus i'm so far out of touch with "the dating scene" I wouldn't know where to begin if we did).

As a self confessed "manly man" it's one subject I should be able to stamp my foot down on but I can't.

I've known a few trans women in my time and i've found a few of them attractive and got on quite well with them.

oh c'mon, you know you want me ;P hehe

 

[Smeatza]

I probably could if I didn't know. I wouldn't want to though.
It's a turn off.

Also, I like this post

Spoiler

Umm, could you fill me in on this one? As far as I know, what makes the physical differences in women and men are the fact that the chromosomes X and Y affect how the gonadotropins LH and FSH affect after the hypothalamus produces GnRH (in puberty) which gives the pituitary gland the order to produce these hormones. Based on the gender defined by X and Y chromosomes, the luteinizing hormones and the follicle-stimulating hormones effects are determined; for example on a boy LH starts up the production of hormones (mainly testosterone) while on a girl LH causes things such as ovulation.

So, as far as I know, chromosomes do make a man or a woman as kind of overlords since they control the whole process. How is it proven that chromosomes do not have a say in this? Am I missing some bit of knowledge?

Edit:
Or are you saying that the brains develop sexual patterns that the person is a slave to during the development of the fetus? But isn't that determined by the 23rd pair as well?

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I have no problem with people who do it I just think it would be easier for them, if they came to terms with themselves, rather than have what they are dictated to them by what's in their pants.

Come to terms?! I resigned many years ago I would never be able to transition... I was depressed, angry, and suicidal. I knew i was in the wrong body, but I had "come to terms" with the fact I would never transition, then... by the grace of god and my wonderful wife, 5 years ago I began transition! While it hasn't been easy, i am happier now than ANY time previously in my (GEEZ!) nearly 40 years on this planet. It's not a come to terms issue, it's scientifically proven to be a real, physical condition.

I don't hold it against any of you for saying no... it's your life, you chose what you do with it, but frankly I'd be completely miserable or dead if i had "come to terms" with it.

 

[Musette]

3.5) I dunno what "cis" refers to specifically.

"Cis" just means "on the same side as". Some people use cis as a shortening of cisgendered, meaning that your gender identity and biological sex are the same or correspond with each other, which is why a cis-male is a person who is born with male anatomy and considers himself to be a man in terms of gender identity.

On the original topic, I don't really experience romantic attraction, so my disinterest is present regardless of gender identity and biological sex. However, if I found myself entering a relationship anyways, I would have nothing against dating someone who is transgendered, transsexual, or any other identity so long as said person is someone I can get along with well.

Some of the misinformation and assumptions that have been made on this thread are a little upsetting though.