Could You Date A Transexual?

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dragonswarrior

Also a Social Justice Warrior
Feb 13, 2012
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I actually am dating a transexual. I am a heterosexual queer male, and he is a female to male transgendered.

Yea. There is a story behind that. It's insanely long and complicated.

We both really like each other. Dating him is awesome.
 

Fwee

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Sep 23, 2009
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I'll just say "Yes" and leave it at that. I don't need to justify it with any conditions.
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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Jun 5, 2012
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Claripit772 said:
Some of the misinformation and assumptions that have been made on this thread are a little upsetting though.
Agreed, but as i stated before I have no plans to argue any points brought up.. arguing on the net is like arguing with yourself.. no one's opinion will change... and obviously if their "knowledge" is incorrect they have no interest in researching the subject to find get at least a basic understand of said subject.
 

NightmareExpress

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Dec 31, 2012
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"Could" I? Yes, I most certainly could.

I'm a predominantly straight male, but I'm not shallow/close-minded/insecure enough to say that it wouldn't be a possibility.
If a person is good and feelings are mutual, how could affection be "wrong"?

The chances for me to be in such a relationship right now are non-existent, though. Unless she's not really a she to begin with...



*slapped*
 

TehCookie

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Sep 16, 2008
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I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
 

Lt. Rocky

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Jan 4, 2012
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As with any person, it depends on their personality and histroy -- and bonus points for the appeal of their bosom. I could see myself being with a person regardless of it being boy-turned-girl or vice versa, provided there's at least a few noticabley feminine features and an amiable personality.
 

CrimsonBlaze

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Aug 29, 2011
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wombat_of_war said:
most people would say no once they found out about the persons history
Probably, but that's only fair. If a transgender person is seriously considering a relationship with someone or they are going to be intimate, it's only fair that they let the other person know that they are a transsexual.

I personally wouldn't just because I love women and that's all. You can dress like a female, become a female, but I would just prefer a women who was born a women.
 

Zen Toombs

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Nov 7, 2011
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Claripit772 said:
Zen Toombs said:
3.5) I dunno what "cis" refers to specifically.
"Cis" just means "on the same side as". Some people use cis as a shortening of cisgendered, meaning that your gender identity and biological sex are the same or correspond with each other, which is why a cis-male is a person who is born with male anatomy and considers himself to be a man in terms of gender identity.
Thankye kindly for the lesson!
 

Lieju

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Jan 4, 2009
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Yes, why not?

That being said, just like I'd prefer a partner that has no mental issues, if they haven't still gone through the operations and all of that, I'd prefer not to. I mean, I'd prefer not to date someone who isn't happy with their body to that extent,because I wouldn't be sure I have fallen in love with what the person wants to be.

But people who feel they are of certain sex and have gone through stuff to get their body to match the image they have in their head, sure, I'd have no issue with that.

EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...
 

Musette

Pacifist Percussionist
Apr 19, 2010
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Beautiful Tragedy said:
Claripit772 said:
Some of the misinformation and assumptions that have been made on this thread are a little upsetting though.
Agreed, but as i stated before I have no plans to argue any points brought up.. arguing on the net is like arguing with yourself.. no one's opinion will change... and obviously if their "knowledge" is incorrect they have no interest in researching the subject to find get at least a basic understand of said subject.
Well said! It's particularly frustrating to be well informed on a topic and be able to see so many misguided arguments, knowing that most attempts to correct these assumptions will not yield the intended result. That's especially evident of gender and sexuality topics in my experience, and I think that's why it's so bothersome. Gender and sexual identities can be a pretty significant part of an individual's identity, so all the uninformed statements end up coming off as attacks against a group of people. I think the lack of education on gender/sexuality is a major cause of people stigmatizing those who are in the GSM, but I agree that trying to throw this information at someone who is not willing to learn feels a bit like a waste of energy, particularly on the Internet.
 

bananafishtoday

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Nov 30, 2012
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TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
I honestly don't even know how to respond to this bullshit without getting banned.
 

xplosive59

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Jul 20, 2009
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Probably, if they look female then who cares? Although from being on 4chan for a fair bit I know that if it looks like a girl it is probably a really androgynous guy in drag...
 

omicron1

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Mar 26, 2008
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Zachary Amaranth said:
lechat said:
even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship
....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

Smolderin said:
medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE
Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.
Medically speaking, we are (or intend/hope to be) eunuchs with high estrogen levels and extensive plastic surgery. Genetically (aside from the lucky ducks with Klinefelter's) we are male. Smolderin's view of it is just as valid as yours or mine; to wit, all opinions that are not categorically false are, from a human (IE not-omniscient) point of view, equal.

In light of this, though, this may not always be true. Artificially grown wombs are a reality, as are transplants. In combination, these advances will probably result in transwomen with the ability to conceive and give birth. At which point, I would consider them/me truly female.

To answer the question: I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I wouldn't, yes? Although I'm not sure of the morality of dating/relationships yet. I still need to puzzle out whether being with a man or woman post-transition is a sin - and then see if I can manage whichever (if any) isn't.
 

Cry Wolf

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Oct 13, 2010
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Tanis said:
Yes, yes I could.

I have a particularly simple requirement for dating; do I find the person attractive? It sounds obvious, but it goes further than you'd assume - mainly because I don't have any of the common social stigma (nor do I care about the possible resentment from other for dating someone, whatever their reason would be) in regards to sexuality. For me, it's completely defined by arousal rather than morality. For instance, I could probably find enjoyment in homosexual intercourse, particularly oral, despite defining myself as heterosexual (I define myself as this because I don't find any arousal due to physical form of males, while the opposite is true for females; for what it's worth) given the physical stimuli was pleasant. In many regards, I imagine it'd be a lot like masturbation.

Male to Female post-op, as you stated would be the case, is much, much better. Now there is the possibility of physical attraction, and a much more pleasant sexual experience (I remember reading about and seeing the results of surgery, it was rather impressive). Also; I've seen many here voice how they find body modification and/or surgery unattractive. Fair enough point, but I figured it was worth mentioning I find some body modification attractive (though unlike a lot of my kinks, I have no idea why!). The other big issue seems to be kids, which I don't want. Yay for me?

EDIT! Seen a lot of people mention when/how they'd like to be told about it. My thoughts? I'd just like to be told. We're talking about an issue (once again, ugh, sorry about my phrasing - I'll come back an edit this if I find a better alternative) with significant negative social pressure. It's not something everyone is going to be able to share without trust. I'd hope, with the exception of casual sexual encounters (but then we're not talking about dating, so it's not really a concern in regards to this topic - ask me about that if I should go on), that you'd tell your partner prior to sex given the effect it may have on him/her. I'd happily be told afterwards though.


TL;DR - I don't care about the potential social repercussions of dating anyone, let alone a transgendered person. Fuck anyone who'd make a fuss. The rest can be summed up by this;

shrekfan246 said:
an annoyed writer said:
OP: I am a Transsexual woman.
I'll not be offended (and, hopefully obvious, I mean no offense) if you ignore me given the personal nature that some of these questions may have, but I couldn't contain my curiosity. In no particular order:

* Does "transsexual woman" mean you were born physically male, and want to be/are now male or is it the other way around?
* Have you had surgery to align yourself with sexuality? If so, to what extent? If not, do you want to?
* Have you had any problems with abuse or otherwise for your sexuality?
* What is your aesthetic gender preference in sexual partners, assuming you have one?
* Have you had any problems darting due to your sexuality?
* Do you run into many other people who ask you a whole bunch of annoying questions?
* Did you "become" (ugh, sorry, I can't phrase this right - I did try, but to no avail) at a certain age, or did you always "feel" this way?
* How old are you now?

That is all for now, I've got some work I've actually suppose to be doing. I'll probably be back to ask you some more questions, assuming you're okay with that.

NOTE: Sorry if my terminology is off! While I have given quite a significant amount of thought to many issues regarding sexuality, including similar scenarios to the one put forward here, I haven't had any interaction with transsexuals (which I find odd, given the amount of contact and friends I have with the rest of the LGBT community) and my reading has only be skimming over some articles I've stumbled across.
 

TehCookie

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Sep 16, 2008
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bananafishtoday said:
TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
I honestly don't even know how to respond to this bullshit without getting banned.
How about that thread a while back about that person who got excessive surgery to look like a doll because it made her feel pretty and true to herself while I find it disturbing. Would that be better?
 

Zeldias

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Oct 5, 2011
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Sure, don't even understand why it's an issue.

I used to say I'd want to know about it early on in the relationship, and I guess I still kinda would, but otherwise, if I met this hypothetical person post-all the treatment and stuff (I don't really know much about the process), then she'd be a woman to me.
 

Gatx

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Jul 7, 2011
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Yeah, it's been brought up a couple times but I do feel like I want kids in the future, so that's a no go for me. I mean I would also feel weird about them being transexual, but I mean if they look good and we have get along great, there shouldn't be any reason not to (you know besides the kids thing).