Could You Date A Transexual?

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an annoyed writer

Exalted Lady of The Meep :3
Jun 21, 2012
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Rascarin said:
cerebreturns said:
No.
A guy is a guy.
A girl is a girl.

slicing your body up and pumping yourself full of drugs doesn't make you into another sex,
it makes you a drugged up emo person with serious mental issues.

This has always bothered me because it is dangerous close to "well yeah she's 14 but she's mentaly a 18 year old so it's ok"
... Have you read any of the previous posts in this thread? Being trans is a recognised medical condition. Not a mental health disorder. It is not "emo", and hormone therapy is not "pumping yourself full of drugs". The gender binary does not exist.

Educate yourself before spewing such ignorant bile.
THANK. YOU.

You said it a lot more concisely than I could have myself. And on a side note: I'm glad about your situation. That's pretty much what I picture as an ideal future for myself.
 

Quadocky

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Aug 30, 2012
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Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because honestly, there are far too many great people out there killed and judged harshly based on appearance alone.

And not that it makes you a bad person, rather people should be much more empathetic. I actually got a more hostile vibe from this thread in concern to transsexualism, quite the opposite of what you are speaking of. I keep seeing "Its okay to not like someone based on how they look!"

At least that is my perspective.

Also, perhaps you could use that feeling to understand what oppression feels like.
 

Cpu46

Gloria ex machina
Sep 21, 2009
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I have no issue with what someone once was. What they are here and now is all that matters to me. If I like their personality then I have no issue dating them, junk still in place or no.
 

Nadia Castle

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May 21, 2012
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Since I am a Transexual I actually tend to date other trans people almost exclusively. Just easier all round really, tho I did date a crazy f2m once who punched me when I mis-gendered him. Still I have dated far crazier cis people before that....
 

Ushiromiya Battler

Oddly satisfied
Feb 7, 2010
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I could say no way in hell and never ever right now and still fall in love with a Transexual years later...
Love makes you blind right?
So, I'm on a no idea stance.
 

an annoyed writer

Exalted Lady of The Meep :3
Jun 21, 2012
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Cry Wolf said:
an annoyed writer said:
I've had to deal with plenty of people with annoying questions. It's one of the reasons I go under this moniker.
Ha ha! I am genuinely sorry, it'd frustrate me to no end people asking me questions like I'm an alien based on what, relative to the observer, is an entirely arbitrary fact of life that shouldn't separate you from the rest of society. That said, I couldn't help myself. I'm like a big child, letting my curiosity take preference to being respectful (thoughtful?).

Anyway, I'll probably take you up on your offer for a few more questions privately and then leave you in peace. =)
Don't worry about it. I actually prefer people like yourself who are curious, since people like that actually treat us more like people than most others do.
 

00slash00

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cerebreturns said:
This has always bothered me because it is dangerous close to "well yeah she's 14 but she's mentaly a 18 year old so it's ok"
and this argument is dangerously close to the "homosexuality leads to having sex with animals" argument
 

Quadocky

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Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
No, being a transsexual is most likely nothing like roleplaying a character in a fandom.
it's absolutely nothing like that. It's deeper..WAY deeper.
Glad to have confirmation. I just seem to lack the terminology to describe the why of it at the moment.
 

Happiness Assassin

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Oct 11, 2012
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I would like to think so, but I really wouldn't know until it happened. I guess it would depend on the person and how I felt about them.
 

Phasmal

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Jun 10, 2011
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Lieju said:
EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...
I feel I can answer this, somewhat.
I was originally going to answer `No, because I want children`, but there is a trend of people who seem offended by people wanting to have their biological children.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years, and if we found out he could not have children, I would be deeply upset. But I wouldn't leave him, because I love him.
I might, however, avoid entering a relationship with someone who I know from the beginning I wouldn't be able to have kids with.
It's one of my life goals, and I don't feel I should be judged in a game of `I'm more enlightened than you` for it. (Not that I'm saying you're doing that, but it happens).
 

Beautiful Tragedy

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Quadocky said:
Beautiful Tragedy said:
Quadocky said:
TehCookie said:
I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.
No, being a transsexual is most likely nothing like roleplaying a character in a fandom.
it's absolutely nothing like that. It's deeper..WAY deeper.
Glad to have confirmation. I just seem to lack the terminology to describe the why of it at the moment.

Sure :) Ya it's not "acting" anything, it's what I AM... I was born in the wrong body and i am just making efforts to change that mistake.
 

Calibanbutcher

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Nov 29, 2009
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Quadocky said:
Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because honestly, there are far too many great people out there killed and judged harshly based on appearance alone.

And not that it makes you a bad person, rather people should be much more empathetic. I actually got a more hostile vibe from this thread in concern to transsexualism, quite the opposite of what you are speaking of. I keep seeing "Its okay to not like someone based on how they look!"

At least that is my perspective.
Interesting.
So somehow both "sides" feel that the other is being hostile towards them?
Seems like a real clusterf*ck if you ask me.

OT:
I would never date a transsexual, but I will defend their freedom to do with their bodies as they please, their freedom to live their lives pursue their dreams and their happiness for this freedom should be had by everyone, as long as they do not seek to use their freedom to harm others.
Which is incidentally also my reasoning when it comes to gay marriage and the equal rights:
They should be free to do as they please and have the same possibilites as individuals of any other sexual orientation, for there are no reasons to impose restrictions upon their freedom other than prejudice and hatred.
 

Ledan

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Apr 15, 2009
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Hmmmmm.....
I'd be something I would have to wrestle with, and unless the person is one of a kind I might find it to difficult of an issue to overcome.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
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Quadocky said:
Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because honestly, there are far too many great people out there killed and judged harshly based on appearance alone.

And not that it makes you a bad person, rather people should be much more empathetic. I actually got a more hostile vibe from this thread in concern to transsexualism, quite the opposite of what you are speaking of. I keep seeing "Its okay to not like someone based on how they look!"

At least that is my perspective.
But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.
 

Not Lord Atkin

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Oct 25, 2008
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Nope. It's one of my phobias, actually.
I can't rationalise it, I'm just REALLY terrified of the possibility. It even goes so far that I actually doubted my girlfriend's gender for the first week or so of the relationship.

Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that I'm a fucking lunatic, thank you very much.
 

peruvianskys

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Jun 8, 2011
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This is a hard question for me, because I have a lot of misgivings regarding transgenderism. To me, gender is like race; it's a somewhat ephemeral concept but it is undeniably extrapolated from genetic realities. No matter how much an African-American person feels like they don't belong in their culture or their skin, they are African-American by the sole fact that their genetics are of a quality that gives them membership to that group. They're free to act however they'd like, and I'd applaud anyone who attempts to break out of stereotypical roles, either racial or in regards to gender, but at the end of the day, "woman" means to me "of a female body."

I think we, as a culture, need to focus far more on breaking down the stereotypical roles that are foisted upon men and woman and far less time advocating for the ability to move freely between those rigid structures. There should be no requirements that come with physical sex; women can do whatever they want, whether it's traditionally "female" or not, and the same goes for men. Being male or female shouldn't come with any kind of preset rulebook, and I can't help but think that transgenderism is a result, in part at least, of those oppressive structures. But I realize that people will disagree, and I mean no offense.

So I wouldn't be physically repulsed or anything by dating a man who had transitioned into a woman, but I may have trouble reconciling my beliefs about gender and sexuality with her.
 

Quadocky

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Calibanbutcher said:
Interesting.
So somehow both "sides" feel that the other is being hostile towards them?
Seems like a real clusterf*ck if you ask me.
Except, oppression of a minority is a much more dire thing.
 

Lieju

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Phasmal said:
Lieju said:
EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...
I feel I can answer this, somewhat.
I was originally going to answer `No, because I want children`, but there is a trend of people who seem offended by people wanting to have their biological children.

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years, and if we found out he could not have children, I would be deeply upset. But I wouldn't leave him, because I love him.
I might, however, avoid entering a relationship with someone who I know from the beginning I wouldn't be able to have kids with.
It's one of my life goals, and I don't feel I should be judged in a game of `I'm more enlightened than you` for it. (Not that I'm saying you're doing that, but it happens).
And if you want to have biological children with your partner, and to what you'd sacrifice to get that (such as leaving your boyfriend if you found out he couldn't have children), it's your bussiness.

Similarly, if someone is just turned off by the thought of a trans-sexual (or, say, someone of different skin-colour), it's their bussiness.
(Although, if their opinion is based on misinformation, it might be wise to discuss it further)

But I was wondering if the 'I want to have children' was for many people just an easy way to dodge the question, and if that's the only reason. Which is why I asked them to think how'd they react if asked the question 'Could you date someone who just can't have children?'
 

Quadocky

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Aug 30, 2012
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Casual Shinji said:
Quadocky said:
Casual Shinji said:
Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?
Because honestly, there are far too many great people out there killed and judged harshly based on appearance alone.

And not that it makes you a bad person, rather people should be much more empathetic. I actually got a more hostile vibe from this thread in concern to transsexualism, quite the opposite of what you are speaking of. I keep seeing "Its okay to not like someone based on how they look!"

At least that is my perspective.
But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.
It doesn't, I am saying is that vibe is most likely misconstrued. Empathy is much more important.

The preference of personal aesthetic is just that, personal. To judge someone on appearance alone is problematic.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
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Quadocky said:
Calibanbutcher said:
Interesting.
So somehow both "sides" feel that the other is being hostile towards them?
Seems like a real clusterf*ck if you ask me.
Except, oppression of a minority is a much more dire thing.
So not being physically attracted to someone is now being seen as a form of oppression?

Really?