Crap Jokes

[MikeyW]

Whats your favorite crap joke?


Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

 

[The Reverend]

2 men walk into a bar.
You would have thought the second one would have noticed.

 

[Haliwali]

Real poop joke:
I have a rare brown trout that needs to be returned to the water.

 

[p1ne]

Whats your favorite crap joke?


Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

Crap joke??!! That one's awesome!

ohh.... you mean literally.... crap?

All my favorite jokes are band jokes and pirate jokes. :/

 

[noolli]

why did the hand cross the road

cos it wanted to go to the second hand shop

 

[John Galt]

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

Because she's a woman!

 

[Echolocating]

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's right, you don't know... BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T FUCKING THERE, MAN!

 

[p1ne]

lol

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's some obscure number, you wouldn't understand....

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wanna go fishing? (before they finish saying "I don't know.")

 

[Melaisis]

A man goes into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm. He asks, 'Do you sell fish cakes here?'
'No,' was the reply.
'Shame, it's his birthday.'

 

[Pulsifer]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Me, I KILL YOU!

 

[BLad30Fgod]

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

You-Know

You-Know-Who?

 

[Easykill]

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

You-Know

You-Know-Who?

I shouldn't have, but I laughed at that for some reason.

 

[JakubK666]

Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! Peanut.

Cake for the first person to guess the reference.

 

[ShadeOfRed]

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

You-Know

You-Know-Who?

ONOZ! IT BE VOLDEMORT!

 

[GyroCaptain]

Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! Peanut.

Cake for the first person to guess the reference.

No guessing needed. Just remember to translate the ACTUAL funniest joke one word at a time.
Edit:
THE CAKE IS A LIE
THE CAKE IS A LIE
THE CAKE IS A LIE

 

[p1ne]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender takes one look at him and says "My God, what's that thing there for? Doesn't it bother you?"

"Arrr," replies the pirate, "it be driving me nuts."

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

wht did the chicken cross the road?
...(your punchline here)
there all crap really

 

[Anarchemitis]

ARE YOU DEAF?!
CAN YOU HEAR ME?!!!?