Crazy Roommate Stories

[Kahldris71]

Well its not my story, but ill share it anyway because i laughed really really hard when this one was told over vent one night.

Well never mind, i spent over an hour with this typed into the box looking for the videos on YouTube, only to discover the guy closed his account. im very sad face, i will retell the story through text as best as i can remember. Sadly radiates voice and recounting of the story is much better. If your good with finding videos that have disappeared The Channel was Lightfuror and the Videos were Story Time with Radiate. and Rad's Indian Encounter

Radiate had a roommate from India in college. He could speak English well enough and such, but the first time he met rad, he pulled out his phone to show him his homemade porn. Apparently there's places in India where you give a dollar, you get a mattress and a woman and go out in the woods and do the business. The Indian was putting himself through college by selling packs of cigarettes that his parents would send him from India. Well Rad was a nerd, played wow and the like, but he dident like wearing headphones until he had this roommate, Because every college has hot girls, hot slutty girls, but every college also has chubby goth girls who will fuck anything with an accent. Well his roommate would bring these chubby goth girls back to the room and fool around with them, while he was in the room.
Anyway one time after the girl had left, he says to radiate, hey, do you know why, you know when i go down, and i smell woo-whee!!! "did you see what you brought in here? i bet she cant even reach that part of her!" And that's why he started wearing headphones whenever playing video games.

A piece of advice, when an Indian man walks up to you and offers to show you something on his phone, Stop, and walk away.

Also, it was recorded on vent and i was there while it was being recorded, i was a tank for the Guild Ale and Arms on Stormrage, my characters name was Akeela.

 

[Stryc9]

Back around 2001-2006 I used to spend two or three days or even up to a week hanging out with my best friend and his wife at the time, neither one of these people I have anything to do with any more partially for the reasons below and mostly for the reason that he became a huge dick to all of his old friends when he met his new fuckbuddy.

Anyway it was around this time that she got pregnant and cleaning the kitchen would make her puke so my friend calls me up and says that if I'll come up there and stay with them for a few days and clean up the kitchen for them he'll pay me for it. I wasn't working at the time so I could use the cash and it wasn't like cleaning a kitchen was that hard so I agreed. It took me a day and a half to get it all done, both sinks were piled to over a foot above the edge with dirty dishes. I found one bowl that had moldy pancake batter in it, it had been in there long enough that it was dried out and completely covered in green mold. All of the other kitchenware had dried on food stuck on it, of course the further down you got the older and more dried on it was. Thankfully their apartment had a dishwasher in it, and it was an awesome dishwasher too. If that had been my apartment instead of theirs, when I moved out I would have stolen that dishwasher. I didn't have to rinse or soak a single dish in those sinks, just put them in and run it as per the instructions and they came out as if they were new. He paid me $75 plus he paid for the new DVD burner I badly needed for that.

A few years later, same friends, different apartment, my friend calls me and says the cabinet shop he works at needs an extra guy for two weeks if I'm interested. Hells yea I'm interested I say, if it pays money I'm down for it. By this point his wife doesn't do much of anything around the house, she stays at home and takes care of the kid while my friend's at work making the money. By taking care of the kid I mean she watches TV while the kid screams it's head off almost constantly. It's clear that no one has done dishes in about a week by the first day I'm there, there a bunch of shit piled up in the sinks already, and we're hitting fast food places nightly after work. By the time week two starts something's starting to smell bad in the kitchen, and because I have my computer set up in the area right next to the kitchen it's starting to get to me. After my friend repeatedly asks his wife to clean the kitchen up while we're gone and after days of her not doing I'm at my ropes end, the rotting meat smell is starting to get to me so I bring my respirator home from work with me on a fortunately short day and clean that shit up, including the source of the smell. A skillet that had about a pound of burned hamburger in it along with a good two or three dozen maggots squirming around in it. Unfortunately this time there was no super awesome clean the dishes without rinsing dishwasher to be had and I had to clean most of that shit by hand.

Those are the two worst instances, mostly because after that she started to actually clean up for the most part, as much as you can when you've got two kids under the age of five running around all the time anyway.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Before entering college, I was invited to spend a couple of weeks in the dorms to get a feel of what it would be like to actually live and study on campus.

There were a handful of people that I knew from school in the program and I decided to be a roommate of one of the guys that I had known the longest. On our first night, we had a small party to celebrate being in the program. There was alcohol, weed, and dancing, but I was only interested in the dancing and stayed away from the hard liquor and herb. I clocked out at around 12 am because we needed to wake up early the next day for orientation, and I last saw my roommate enjoying the booze and the girls.

Later that night, I saw my roommate creep into his bed and soon he feel asleep, to which I followed. I got up about 30 an hour before orientation and got ready. A few minutes late, my roommate woke up and I was surprised when I saw him.

All over his face and arms were words and images that were etched with a sharpie marker. He hadn't realized it, but I was laughing so hard that I nearly hit my head on the side of a drawer. I directed him to a mirror, as he was a little hang over, and he started cursing because he was afraid of having all this stuff visible during orientation.

Luckily, a damp towel was enough to clean the sharpie off, though it left the towel in a bit mess. As he went to make his bed, we soon notice a bigger mess in his sheets. A lot of the ink from the sharpie pen was all over the sheets, completely staining them into a lot of dark spots from him tossing and turning while he slept. We quickly put the sheets to be washed and it then became someone else's problem.

For the rest of the program, my roommate did not have a drop of alcohol, nor did he trust anyone else in the program.

 

[DANEgerous]

Another roommate also high put dish soap in place of dish washing liquid and folded our apartment with bubbles

Now that's not a bad idea....

OT: Nothing too crazy, except one guy who was clearly addicted to porn.

if you do this do it with the dishwasher empty as it will just make your dishes coated in soap rather than clean.

 

[Gabanuka]

snip

Have you ever had a roommate who wasn't high?

OT: I once shared a room with my cousin on holiday, she slept on the floor...

 

[Zhukov]

Oh yeah, do I ever.

There was this one guy I shared a house with last year. He was unemployed. He would introduce himself as "Rainbow Fox". (I only learned his real name when I was collecting his mail.) He used to say a lot of crazy stuff. I think his best moment was when he claimed that his father was a millionaire and the king of all Aboriginals (indigenous Australians) who was engaged in a war with the king of China over a kidnapped princess. Also, allegedly he could talk to centaurs.

Yeah... seriously.

He would tell all that to pretty much anyone who stood still long enough, and all with a completely straight face.

 

[DANEgerous]

snip

Have you ever had a roommate who wasn't high?

OT: I once shared a room with my cousin on holiday, she slept on the floor...

Only one and he still was on occasion buy all it did was make him want to play DDR or watch awesome movies. On the not of cousins the second and third roommates are mine, they have no common seance at all. They would do things like run the AC while broken to... waste money I suppose or cut chicken they way a barbarian would try to kill another man by slamming a knife into it the cook it "On high" for 3 minutes in the oven even though high is not a setting on the oven and wonder why it is still raw and think that i must be magic beacus i cooked it in the slow cooker for 6+ hours and it did not burn.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

You poor people actually had to share your inner sanctum with someone?

 

[Phantomess]

My best friend and I once shared our room with a stripper who insisted that she never used or even touched our stuff. There was one flaw in her argument - about a week after she moved in, my phone charger went missing. When I was on the early shift one morning, I noticed her phone was plugged into our powerboard... using my charger, which was covered in her gunky foundation. I carefully unplugged it, took the charger and locked it up (I have a Motorola phone, she had a Nokia. The charger was the Motorola one).
A few weeks later, I noticed my previously clean and well-cared for hair straightener (clean and well-cared for because I don't use it that often and it cost me a packet) out on the floor, the cord covered in foundation and the clip that held it closed broken off. When I asked her about it, she denied it. The problem with that is that neither my bestie or I wear foundation and our other roomie is a Filipino male chef.
The kick-her-out point came when my bestie left her bag on her bed one morning and went to the bathroom to conduct her usual ablutions. Upon her return, her wallet was missing, the stripper in her own bed. Now, we'd been out the night before and we both knew that she had around $70 left in her wallet. She returned to the bathroom with her clothes to change and came back to see the stripper climbing back into bed, the wallet sitting beside her bag. My bestie had a pink fit and demanded to know why she'd taken the money. The other girl flat-out denied it, but was eventually kicked out.
Some of her other antics involved turning the lights on at 7am (my mate and I start work at nine most mornings, but we value our sleep and our roomie finishes work at 1am), laying in bed at 2am and screaming down the phone at her then-boyfriend (she accused him of cheating on her) and spending the better part of everyday high as a kite. What a treasure.