Crazy theories you've developed

[toastmaster2k8]

I feel Like weed makes everything a dream and it also damages long memory cells. thus making the short memory cells only the vividy remember things while high and so when the inhaler of the plant suffers poor intelligence and cant find his eyes in his ramen noodles.../ - Whit guy number xx/6/4456 Whiteguy#34235 99999

 

[Hylke Langhout]

I have a theory that technology hates me exclusively. Whenever I need something done quickly, my laptop crashes, my printer fails, my internet has problems ect. When I want to watch something on TV really badly, there's a problem with the satellite. One time when I was at school, I plugged my laptop in to charge it, and the entire school lost power. I doubt it was related, though the timing was suspicious.

 

[DrStupid87]

My theory is that we don't lose our sight due to age. Basically, photons have a mass we can measure. You eventually lose your sight because all of these tiny weights are constantly bombarding your retinas and very slowly wearing them out. I also think it helps explain why it hurts to look at a really bright light.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

-snip-

*skims lyrics*
holy shitting fuck. or whatever.

OT: when you die, you brain basically replays every memory perfectly. all of them. effectively, you live again in the blink of an eye, but for you it's a lifetime. constantly. but you cant remember your death. if you come back, only the strongest memories stick with you.

think about that. you might be dead. you might think 'maybe i'll buy some chips'. you might have already done that. right now, you might not be making your decisions. you already made them. possibly decades ago.

oh and that my family are mutants, in the X-Men sense, just slower. we're like the trial run for Wolverine.
example: our full christmas dinner (the eating part) takes about 6 minutes. massive piece of pork. load of potatoes. carrots and turnips. fucking fruit salad, ice cream and jelly. without conversation, 6 minutes. we eat fast as fucking wolves, and its mostly meat.
not to mention the lack of injuries and our recovery rate.

Everyone's in on a conspiracy and I'm the only one that doesn't know. Random thought I had one time.

i thought that once.
then my uncle told me to shut up and gave me funny tasting milk.
then everything went mauve.
then i found out that i was just being paranoid.
that's what the milk told me.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

How can we be sure Hawaii actually exists? How do we know the airline companies aren't just taking us on a slow circle over the Pacific before dropping us off on an obscure beach somewhere in Mexico?

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

After 6 weeks of nonstop Christmas music on the radio at work, I have surmised that there are approximately 8 Christmas songs that exist. And while there are 5849 covers of those songs, the radio stations will still play the traditional versions 10/1.

Seriously, if we have to listen to nothing but Xmas music at least let me program a Pandora station that'll only play a mix of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Josh Groban, Harry Connick Jr. and that 12 year old opera prodigy from America's Got Talent.

 

[FalloutJack]

Crazy theory? Sure, why not?

The reason all religions seem to be in contention is that they were actuslly meant to work as one massive religion in which we all are fractions of.

There's my crazy theory.

 

[Svenparty]

When I go to a foreign restaurant I think they are dumbing down the spices for a western audience
Companies are deliberately raising prices needlessly for chocolate bars because of the economy
God is simply a very profitable concept it's political suicide to admit you don't believe in him
Love is also a very profitable and a forced upon concept
Dentists are out to steak teeth for money
School is just somewhere to send you during the day
Dinosaurs still exist just hidden from the general populace


Okay the last one was supposed to be funny.

Also fictionally find the idea that Darth Vader could be in Jedi Heaven because he said sorry despite the slightly Christian theme of redemption. The man was Space Hitler for a lot of the time but just because he felt bad while dying he gets off scott free to live among most of the people he slaughtered. There needs to be a theory based on how this happned

 

[WanderingFool]

My biggest theory is religious so if your gonna complain or something don't bother i wont respond.

But I think that if god has a big plan,then me being an atheist is part of this plan and if I'm wrong and he does exist i am not a heretic and should be allowed into heaven.

Awesome...

I have a religious theory of sorts.

I believe there is a Heavan and Hell,but that Hell isnt just damnation. I think Heaven is your basic paradise, like always said to have been, but Hell is really two different places. There is the damnnation hell we all know, where assholes like child molesters and people that talk at the theater burn in, but also a place that is basically heaven, but for people that dont make it into heaven. In essence, its basically like a combination of heaven and purgatory; this is where all the people that arent "chosen by God" go. And its actually a pretty happening place, Im sure Lucifer has a atleast two nightclubs down there, and no hangovers...

 

[WanderingFool]

*Edit*

Double Post, got hit with that forum cunduct agreement page and somehow posted twice...

 

[razor343]

That subsequent 'Generations' get smarter. This is based on the idea that there is indeed a soul. Allow me to explain: Let's completely ignore the inheritance of genes and just go with the idea that souls are either passed on to a host upon the death of the previous one, or if there is suddenly a 'lack' of soul then new ones are created. Traits like intelligence and 'common sense' expand and grow more prominent as a soul is passed on, while new souls are sub-par at best...

P.S: This is a crazy nutjob idea, and I don't actually believe in the existence of souls, this is simply something that came to me one day that I considered an idea that could kind of work if we completely forgot about genetic inheritance.

 

[deserteagleeye]

Every day I'm living someone else's life but I have no recollection of it and I borrow that person's memories to live out their life. Tomorrow, I'll probably be a Indian tech support guy if my chart is correct.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

One I made a thread out of the other day:

"Kim Jong Il is merely the second coming of Christ and he will rise from the dead in three days. Check that respawn timer. He will return to lead the Korean people to the promised land of Valhalla where they will receive their seventy-two virgins!

Thoughts?"

 

[Svenparty]

My biggest theory is religious so if your gonna complain or something don't bother i wont respond.

But I think that if god has a big plan,then me being an atheist is part of this plan and if I'm wrong and he does exist i am not a heretic and should be allowed into heaven.

Awesome...

I have a religious theory of sorts.

I believe there is a Heavan and Hell,but that Hell isnt just damnation. I think Heaven is your basic paradise, like always said to have been, but Hell is really two different places. There is the damnnation hell we all know, where assholes like child molesters and people that talk at the theater burn in, but also a place that is basically heaven, but for people that dont make it into heaven. In essence, its basically like a combination of heaven and purgatory; this is where all the people that arent "chosen by God" go. And its actually a pretty happening place, Im sure Lucifer has a atleast two nightclubs down there, and no hangovers...

So exactly like earth then? Maybe this is purgatory? Heaven is up, Hell is down and this is purgatory. This thread should come with tinfoil hats.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

So, theoretically, Earth and everything on it (including us) is made out of exploded star bits, right?

So, would people who worshipped the sun be ahead of their time then?

 

[toolateforsundown]

And it all turns out to be made of ketchup, but still somehow also tabasco.

That made me laugh for like five minutes. I'm totally telling that to my brother (who was texting me babbling about eigenvalues or something, I dunno) next time I see him.

The physical world isn't real. Of course a part of me knows this is ridiculous, but I'm just insane enough to believe it half the time.

 

[mb16]

being a physicist (in training) i dont need "Crazy theories". The universe is already scary/crazy/insane enough on its own, and anything i could come up with would be pale in comparison.

no im serious, open wikipedia, and search for things like "Schrödinger's cat" or "quantum vacuum fluctuations". Keep browsing all the theories you can find and i bet you at somepoint you will just look at your hands and think something like:

"wow, so im the product of fluctuations in the quantum vacuum"

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Vampires are actually real and the media around them in recent years is just to completely soften our perceptions of them.

Most symptoms of being possessed are of an extreme allergic reaction or rejection. So if that's what happens when we reject 'demons' (arguably they could be beings in another dimension that are brought closer by becoming more aware of and trying to communicate with them) what happens when the symbiosis is successful. Do we even know it's happened to someone.

These are just a bit of a laugh of course, brought about by my brains questionable logic

 

[GeneralKrunk]

ok so here's mine, I developed it because my friend wouldn't stop talking about aliens and shit.. right, so the gist of it is that we (humans) are the most advanced civilization in the galaxy and it will be us that find lesser civilizations and help them. eventually.. if we don't completely destroy ourselves first.

 

[DrRockor]

i have a theory that North Korea isn't real, its just a conspiracy to terrify America so the reptilian overlords can tranfer all of its money to china