Crazy theories you've developed

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Louis Demella

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Jul 29, 2011
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I have a theory that the libertarian ideal is to return to the cast system from ancient Egypt. Wherein a child would take the profession of their parent decided by gender(son takes role of father, daughter takes role of mother and the position they ended up in was rarely if ever changed. It is the best way to ensure the passing of wealth from one generation to the next without the fear of loss while keeping any new group from ever braking into that elite circle.
 

Louis Demella

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Jul 29, 2011
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I have a theory that the libertarian ideal is to return to the cast system from ancient Egypt. Wherein a child would take the profession of their parent decided by gender(son takes role of father, daughter takes role of mother and the position they ended up in was rarely if ever changed. It is the best way to ensure the passing of wealth from one generation to the next without the fear of loss while keeping any new group from ever braking into that elite circle.
 

Crispee

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Nov 18, 2009
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One theory I came up with after watching The Social Network, is that rather than being a retelling of how Facebook was created, is actually a prequel to the film Zombieland. Wait come back! Here me out.

Point One: The main characters are played by the same actor and have similar personalities.
Point Two: We never hear the main character's real name in Zombieland, he might not want to say because people might recognise that he's Mark Zuckerberg.
Point Three: Zombieland's main character seemingly has no friends, at the end of the Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg loses his friends.
Point Four: In Zombieland, the main character makes a joke about how the Zombie apocalypse means he'll never have to read Facebook statuses. Possibly the result of bad memories the creation of Facebook caused?
Point Five: Zombieland's main character has never kissed a girl, in the Social Network we see Mark Zuckerberg for five minutes before they break up, maybe he never got a chance?

The only holes in my theory is that in his flashback in Zombieland we see him in a tiny apartment rather than a penthouse, must try and patch that hole soon methinks.

Possible expansion, Mark Zuckerberg's friend is actually Spider-Man. And the Spider-Man reboot is a prequel to the Social Network when Mark Zuckerberg's friend was in high school under a different name. And he got into Harvard because his parents worked for SHIELD.

I put waaaaaaay too much thought into these.
 

Benj17

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Mar 10, 2009
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DrRockor said:
i have a theory that North Korea isn't real, its just a conspiracy to terrify America so the reptilian overlords can tranfer all of its money to china
I hate people like you that shun off the fact that there is a serious problem in North Korea, that problem being Crab People!
 

Benj17

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Mar 10, 2009
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I've always thought that a gay man and a lesbian could have a perfectly normal relationship, as long as the man was a tad feminine and the woman was a tad butch. This wouldn't work if the man was a bear and the woman was a lipstick however.
 

Axyun

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Oct 31, 2011
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I'm actually genuinely concerned at times because I tend to have a lot of deja-vu moments for lots of things/events that I know for a fact I have not yet seen or experienced. Probably some chemical imbalance that perturbs my perception.
 

Al-Bundy-da-G

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Apr 11, 2011
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Benj17 said:
DrRockor said:
i have a theory that North Korea isn't real, its just a conspiracy to terrify America so the reptilian overlords can tranfer all of its money to china
I hate people like you that shun off the fact that there is a serious problem in North Korea, that problem being Crab People!
Crab People? Really? You're insane, there's no such thing as Crab People.

Hmm. IP Adress identified. Tell me do you live alone? Preferably on the ground floor with nieghbors who don't ask too many questions. Also pry up a couple of floor boards so that we can... test for gas leaks? That what humans do right?
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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The Link from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask is the same Link that's in Twilight Princess.

After leaving Termina and returning to Hyrule, Link discovers that after all his time-fuckery in Termina, over a thousand years has passed in Hyrule. He decides to hide the Ocarina of Time away where no one could ever find it, as well as all of his other gear, and then he and Epona settle down in Ordonna. This explains how:

A) He has a horse named Epona that looks almost just like the one in OOT/MM
B) he already has the Triforce of Courage
C) He's a better swordsman than any Link (save for the Skyward Sword one, but hey, he was a knight)
D) he doesn't respond to ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS with surprise (unless it has something to do with one of his friends being hurt/kidnapped)

Yeah, it's probably total bullshit. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of people will think I'm stupid for it. Yeah, I know, the official timeline has supposedly been revealed, and this doesn't fit with it.

But I don't give a fuck. It's my Legend. Of Zelda. That's the way I think it should be done.

(Also, as a side note, in this Legend of mine, the split happens, and Ganondorf is killed in Wind Waker and Twilight Princess at the SAME EXACT TIME in each timeline. Wouldn't that just be epic?)
 

Grobari

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Jun 10, 2010
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Here's a crazy one!

Everything is normal. And conspiracy theories are made by people who overthink stuff and want to sound important. Get over yourselves

inb4 what is normal hurrr
 

Sixcess

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Feb 27, 2010
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Predator is a film about homosexuality in the US military.

Even for an 80s action movie it spends an awful lot of time on lingering close ups of big sweaty men being manly together - the peak of this being Dutch and Dillon 'shaking hands' at the start.

Then there's this:

Dutch: Mac, he was a good soldier.
Mac: He was... [hugely significant pause]... my friend.


You just have to look at Arnie's reaction shot. He's clearly thinking "I vill not haf girly men in my unit."
 

Trippy Turtle

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May 10, 2010
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I always thought that maybe people in heaven could get the choice to go somewhere else if they are scared of heights... or angels or whatever else is meant to be there.
 

Yokai

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Oct 31, 2008
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I think that we know so little about the universe right now that literal wizards will exist within a thousand years.

...What? We live on a stupidly tiny dust speck forever spinning in circles inside a mind-shatteringly vast object/concept with no edges that is still probably somehow cylindrical (and full of extremely heavy invisible blobs), and the only true constant is actually just a great big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff that can be affected by approaching an arbitrary maximum speed limit.

And you find it hard to believe in wizards?
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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Grobari said:
Here's a crazy one!

Everything is normal. And conspiracy theories are made by people who overthink stuff and want to sound important. Get over yourselves

inb4 what is normal hurrr
Here's one guys, it's a good one-

Sometimes, there are people that feel the need to tear down other people's fun because their lives are apparently just that dull and drab and uninteresting and "normal".

Trust me, this one's real. I can just feel it.
 

Jakub324

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Jan 23, 2011
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When I was younger, I used to entertain thoughts that shadowy figures were keeping tabs on me. Always watching, always following, and always able to dodge behind a bush or duck out of sight before I got a clear view.
 

JCBFGD

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Jul 10, 2011
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The entertainment industry somehow influences the kids of this generation to buy their shit (and by shit, I actually mean "shit", i.e., Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, etc.) to make money. Most likely, they pay off video sharing websites to give these videos lots of high ratings and views, and they pay off radios to play them all the time. Eventually, these people get famous, people buy their stuff, and both they and the industry make LOLWUT amounts of cash.

Hence, if I ever get into any political office, I will push legislation to crminialise AutoTune and ban publishers from doing anything more than distributing albums. Yes, I do actually believe this theory to be true. Crazier, more disgusting things have happened.

I was once a 9/11 truther. I still think there's something they're not telling us, though I don't know what, and it is fact that GWB knew of an impending attack on America by Muslim extremists.

Last but not least, I think that any "civil rights activists" for any already-equal minority are supremacists. For example, feminists and the NAACP? Female supremacists and black supremacists, respectively. Same will go for the LGBT groups once they get the right to marry & adopt; any LGBT activists left will be gay supremacists. And I say that as a member of the LGBT community. These people are supremacists because they're always trying to grant their respective minority special rights, such as getting a job for being black, or women trying to get husband-beaters out of the spotlight whilst ushering in wife-beaters. Shit like that.

Not trying to start a flamewar hear...read the thread name: "Crazy theories you've developed." Well, here are some of my crazier theories.
 

Extreme Pajamas

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Apr 2, 2010
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None of this exists. All of it is either a perpetual dream, fragments of another mind, or experiment of some kind, or something such as those. This doesn't exactly apply to the fragments theory, but there is only one person that really exists, either you, the one reading this, or me. Everyone that is met is actually a different aspect of mind of the dreamer, and there really only exists one area centered around that person, with everything else fabricated as needed. Therefore, I would be explaining this to myself, or you would be reading this from a different area of your mind, something your core consciousness has never thought of before but your subconscious has devised.

I also have another theory that the colors we see are actually different for every person, but because we are taught the proper names, how each color is paired with others, and words to describe those colors, we won't every really know for sure. Everyone's favorite color could actually be the same.
 

shadyh8er

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Apr 28, 2010
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I always have this nagging feeling that some of the bugs that make their way into my house are actually robots controlled by the government to spy on us.
 

penguindude42

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Nov 14, 2010
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You know how Cranky might be the original Donkey Kong?
He is, and that Mario is the father of the modern Mario brothers.
[small]Also, N is Wally from Gen. III. They both have green eyes and green hair![/small]

ZeroMachine said:
Don't be silly! Zelda has no timeline, no canon! Just little stories!

>3400 years ago: The realm of SUBROSIA is ravaged by NAZO and his spawn, now known as the goddesses DIN, NAYRU, and FARORE; a young girl known as HYLIA is made a goddess by the GOLDEN ONE, ending his life
>502 years ago: The evil wizard ANDROSS is exiled through time & space into the body of Cornerian scientist Dr. ANDREW OIKKONNY; Andross's son GANONDORF turns 2 years old
>530 years ago: Ganondorf is sealed away under his own lair on the isle of KORIDAI
>300 years ago: A boy and a man, VAATI and AGHANIM, are sealed with Ganondorf
>17 years ago: Two newborn infants, LINK and ARYLL, are abducted and left at the edge of a small village, where they are found by the mayor and their uncle, ALFON

Yes, I am insane. I thank you greatly for being able to notice.
 

Vetinarii

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Aug 17, 2009
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Yokai said:
I think that we know so little about the universe right now that literal wizards will exist within a thousand years.

...What? We live on a stupidly tiny dust speck forever spinning in circles inside a mind-shatteringly vast object/concept with no edges that is still probably somehow cylindrical (and full of extremely heavy invisible blobs), and the only true constant is actually just a great big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff that can be affected by approaching an arbitrary maximum speed limit.

And you find it hard to believe in wizards?
I do believe... they are called Physicists. Electricity is magic. Seriously you can't explain that.
 

JoesshittyOs

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Aug 10, 2011
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Insane people have a greater grasp on reality than normal people do. There insanity is the thing that's keeping them from becoming insane like all of us. Something I've been thinking of a lot recently, because I have a genius uncle who is insane. Reminds me of Sherlock Holmes.

That's less of a theory and more of a philosophical quandary.
2012 Wont Happen said:
One I made a thread out of the other day:

"Kim Jong Il is merely the second coming of Christ and he will rise from the dead in three days. Check that respawn timer. He will return to lead the Korean people to the promised land of Valhalla where they will receive their seventy-two virgins!

Thoughts?"
He'd literally be able to tell them to jump to their deaths like Ulsa Doom in Conan if that happened.

Edit: Oh. And Scientology actually makes a little bit of sense.

As in people were created by other beings, not exactly Gods. They were at the peak of their civilization, and had mastered science.

Edit2: Also, one that I thought of when I was younger. What if we all see things extremely differently? Not in the metaphorical sense, but in the physical sense. What if you all look like giant green goo balls to me, yet that's what's normal to me, so that's what I think is normal to everyone else?