Create your own: Action Movie One-Liner!

[The Iron Ninja]

First off, I'm an egotistical bastard, so I welcome all of your compliments, as they are the only thing that feeds me.

And now for another action movie one liner.

Victim: "You bastard! you think you've won?"
Iron Ninja: "Not yet, I just thought you might want to know something."
Victim: "Wh-what is it?"
Iron Ninja: "I have crabs"
Victim: "uh.. Whata are you talki- Oh sweet jesus it's eating my face!"

 

[ThaBenMan]

First off, I'm an egotistical bastard, so I welcome all of your compliments, as they are the only thing that feeds me.

And now for another action movie one liner.

Victim: "You bastard! you think you've won?"
Iron Ninja: "Not yet, I just thought you might want to know something."
Victim: "Wh-what is it?"
Iron Ninja: "I have crabs"
Victim: "uh.. Whata are you talki- Oh sweet jesus it's eating my face!"

No, that has to happen in a scene towards the beginning of the movie, when you (the villain) have just finished bedding a hooker in your lair. At first she'll think you mean crotch crabs, but then your crustacean minions scuttle out of the shadows and swarm her as you look on and go "mwuaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".

It's exposition, to show how you're an evil bastard.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Hooker is such a derogatory term, I'd much rather have it be a wench.

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

Hooker is such a derogatory term, I'd much rather have it be a wench.

The politically correct term is "self-employed roadside masseuse."

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

"I see dead people, oh, sorry that was my precognition acting up again."

 

[meatloaf231]

"Shazam"

 

[imperialwar]

@iron ninja: your cake line, death flavored cake ?? common after a set up like that ! THE CAKE IS A LIE !!!
now that's a one liner send off.

not exactly a one liner send off, but a one liner i actually use: i see, said the blind man to the deaf man.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

@iron ninja: your cake line, death flavored cake ?? common after a set up like that ! THE CAKE IS A LIE !!!
now that's a one liner send off.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're just pretending to be an unoriginal sheep. In which case that was a really good impression,

Honestly that Cake is a lie thing got old really quickly (And I realise the Irony of saying that while masquerading as a ninja, but I like them dammit, screw the internet and what it considers old, Ninja are awesome)

 

[SmilingSilence]

"I've got half a mind to kick your ass, and the other half is out to a permanent lunch."

 

[KarumaK]

1) Bad Guy: "Surrender now and I promise you a quick and painless death"

Hero: "I could promise you the same, but that would be a lie."

2) *Hero's epic trap goes off and bombs explode in a perfect rendition of Beethoven's 5th*

Hero: "Gotta love the classics."

3) *holding baddie at gunpoint* Hero: "You know something in me says I should kill you right now, it says you deserve to die. It's right." *finishes baddie*

 

[ThaBenMan]

"Insert witty one-liner here, *****!"

 

[NeedAUserName]

"I ate a baby once"

 

[imperialwar]

@iron ninja: well the internet may consider it old, but isnt then the stage that movie execs say "hang on a minute this is quite popular lets exploit it". i wonder if it will be in Hero Movie ?

 

[The Iron Ninja]

I don't care what the internet thinks. I consider it old.

On topic:
Classic woman in distress who is now near to falling off a cliff if not for the strong grasp of the hero (in this case named Chuck): "Just let go Chuck, you'll just fall too"
Chuck: "You make a good point"
*lets go*

 

[cheatking]

Knock a guy out and stuff him in the fridge: "Out cold"
*dials the thermostat down*
"Out colder"

"If there is an afterlife, tell everyone I said something witty" *bang*

Victim: "Cheatking! You rule a sucky kindom and smell like bacon fried in piss"
CK: "Yea you may be right, I just think tha-UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT B!"
*pop! A mini gun lands on his lap*
CK: "Eat lead!"
*unleases a hail of bulliets*
CK: "Suck on God mode...*****!"

 

[Hey Joe]

"I hope you eat shit and die and when you eat that shit that shit gets maggots and they eat your corpse and those maggots shit out your corpse and then eat their own shit"

*BANG!*

 

[The Iron Ninja]

"I hope you eat shit and die and when you eat that shit that shit gets maggots and they eat your corpse and those maggots shit out your corpse and then eat their own shit"

*BANG!*

You scare me.


Iron Ninja: So (insert name of victim here)... how do you feel about chicken?
Victim: "I love it!"
Iron Ninja: "How about giant alien zombie chickens?
Victim: "Well I can't honestly say tha-"
*Attacked by giant alien zombie chicken*
Victim: "Oh dear god, it's pecking at my soul!"
Iron Ninja: "Looks like a bit of foul play!"

 

[Baby Tea]

Hero: Remember that time I killed you wife and family?
Badguy: ...no.
Hero: Oh right, you weren't home...my bad.
Badguy: C...Carol? The kids?
Hero: Funny story though, they all said 'NOOOO!' before they died.
Badguy: NOOOO!
*BANG!*
Hero: I guess it runs in the family.

 

[MarcusStrout]

Sorry, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun .

Right before killing a guy with a dilapidated merry-go-round horsie from a trash compactor.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

"I hope you eat shit and die and when you eat that shit that shit gets maggots and they eat your corpse and those maggots shit out your corpse and then eat their own shit"

*BANG!*

I almost pissed myself laughing.

I'm using that. I don't care when.

Them "So what'd you do on you-"
Me "I hope you eat shit and die and when you eat that shit that shit gets maggots and they eat your corpse and those maggots shit out your corpse and then eat their own shit"