Well, let's see. A couple nights ago (Monday night) I was out with a friend, and suddenly really had to go to the bathroom. So I tell her that the next time we pass a store that's still open I have to run in and go to the bathroom. She looks at me and says something like "You're a guy, the world is your toilet, just pull over." Now, pulling over to go take a leak on a tree, we've all been there. Pulling over to take a leak on a tree at 10:30 at night, on a dirt road in rural Maine that hasn't been kept up, no streetlights, and thick forest on either side, probably not so much.
Anyway, I get out of the car, the lights don't turn on (Ongoing problem, broken sensor, been meaning to fix it.) I try to walk over to the nearest tree, and nearly fall into a ditch. (Might be a good time to mention I'm in dressy clothes, including shoes, so I get no help there.) Suddenly hear rustling in the bushes behind me, and I decide that if something is going to jump out, I'd rather it not happen while I have my junk in my hand, so I powerhouse it back to the car, make something up about not being able to get to a tree and violating man-law by pissing directly on the road. (Sidenote: She bought it, but still thought it was funny)
Felt like something out of a damned slasher film. Granted, if it was a slasher film, I probably would've been fairly safe.