Creepy Compliments

[Direwolf750]

"That shirt looks good on you but it would look even better torn to shreds and stuffed burning into the top of a vodka bottle thrown into your office. Lets do it and never look back!"

-xkcd

 

[The Youth Counselor]

A nurse told me I have a nice shade of blood

HOLY CRAP, ninja'd somehow?

except mine was from a doctor not a nurse but wow thats creepily similar

Ok, so blood related compliment trifecta, I had a cute nurse at a red cross blood drive tell me that I had nice, easy to find veins. She also told me it was cute when I turned red when she missed said veins and had to stick me with the needle 2 additional times.

The same thing happened to me twice.

"You have such nice big beautiful veins!"

 

[Racistman3d]

"You have Justin Beiber hair,it's really cute."
Yeah.......

 

[thom_cat_]

I'll confess to doing something dumb.

I find smiles really attractive, and well I went to go hit on this pretty girl. I started off not so great, and ended with "smile for me, your so pretty when you smile". She wasn't really in the mood to get hit on and complimented by random drunk guys, and didn't react like I had planned.

hahaha I'm also attracted to smiles, a smile is the best part of a person.
quoting myself here: "Smile and then hope your smile makes someone happy."

I'm still in love with my ex... yeah, it's fucking lame. But I'm smart enough not to say anything or make any weird moves. But I have promised myself that I will ask her out again if I still love her by the end of the year, which is a while away.
I tend to think out all my compliments for days beforehand, so I'm pretty good on the whole making them not weird front.

One of my girl friends poked my in the stomach before and said 'You're so hard'
I almost have a sixpack! yay!

 

[MR.Spartacus]

A nurse told me I have a nice shade of blood

Thanks for jostling my memory! I was giving blood and was basically told that I bleed well. I don't remember the exact wording. I hadn't thought about it at the time but in hindsight that's a bit serial-killeresque.

 

[rabidmidget]

Not mine but my wife in the middle of a mammogram had her female doctor comment "Wow those are.... just great.. your husband must have a lot of fun with those"

I think this wins.

 

[Lineoutt]

I've gotten "You smell nice" from a friend. It was kinda creepy, and a bit insulting, too. Don't I usually smell nice?

Also, after handing my picture ID to a guy to get into a local amusement park, he looked at it and said, "You have a really nice smile. Wanna show me in real life?"

And then there's the "look at you... damn, red-heads with pigtails are hot... like sexy farmer girls" that I got at my job.

And I have many more, but I think that gets the point across.

That second compliment is actually very flattering. But how it was conveyed in real life, can be very different from how it was conveyed in text.

As for the last one, that's the honest to God truth. Although I don't know why one would say it aloud.

Most of the stuff in this thread so far is stuff that I would say without even considering it creepy. That's kind of... worrying.


I had a genuinely creepy girlfriend who used to try to be as creepy as possible for fun.
Choice lines:

Her: "I want to skin you alive and then wear your skin so I'll be inside you."
Me: "But... I'd bleed to death. And... you'd suffocate."
Her: "AND THEN WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER!"

Her: "If you don't have sex with me, I'm going to cut out my own vagina and send it to you."
Me: "You're just ripping off Van Gogh."

Me: "Want to try something new [sex-wise]?"
Her: "Why don't you cut me!"
Me: "What?"
Her: "I'll go get a knife."
Me: "Wait, wait! I'm not going to cut you with a knife while we're having sex!"
Her: "YOU NEVER WANT TO DO ANYTHING FUN!"


Man, I wish I was making this stuff up.
(In case you're wondering, she was actually really hot, too.)

You've just described the perfect woman.

More like a messed woman

 

[Zeema]

I work at a Fast Food Restaurant and some dude came up and said i love you so much will you marry me'

some Random gay fellow i never ever met.

 

[silasbufu]

you have beautiful eyes.

it was from a girl and I'm a guy. i never want to be called beautiful.

I'm a little surprised by this, so you can never call a guy beautiful? Orlando Bloom had better be an exception!

mean aren't beautiful, men are handsome, rugged, and sexy. and that last one is pushing it. the only thing about men you can call beautiful is their mind, and for me that's a negative.

"You have handsome eyes" sounds stupid.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

I mean as long as the guy isn't making groping motions towards my boobs are being an ass when he says it, then that's fine with me. I've never had a stranger tell me that they find me attractive. I think I'd turn bright red and mumble out a thanks.

That does sound like a WTF night.

Haha, well then I think I'm in the clear then. I remember half blacking out when I said it just out of sheer nerves so you'd be doing a lot better than I was. And trust me, it was.

 

[HuntrRose]

An old guy in a wheel chair came up to me one day while i was eating at the mall food court and he told me i looked like Jesus Christ...what do you say to somthing like that when your half way through a slice of pizza?

I am the Lord and the Saviour. And this is my favorite pizza!

 

[HaHaBoom92]

"You look like Jimmy Paige." - Homeless Man
Some would say creepy, but this is quite possibly the best compliment someone has ever given me. That or "You have beautiful eyes, like a kaleidoscope!"

 

[Queen Michael]

"You bear a strong resemblance to your mother", said to me, a 20-year-old dude. My standard reply? "Yeah, people often tell me I look like a middle-aged woman."

 

[Flight]

"Hey, girl, you've got a nice butt" followed by what he wanted to do with it.

Yeah, I told him where he could go.

 

[Necrofudge]

"Your hands are so soft! And so is your hair!"
This wouldn't even be okay if I were a girl.

 

[gh0ti]

I have an in-joke with one of my friends who once mentioned in passing that it would be nice if I paid her the odd compliment; being "just friends" we trade a lot of insults.

Since then I give her strange (and usually backhanded) compliments whenever the opportunity presents. Things along the lines of "You look thinner than you did yesterday..."

 

[Exia91]

"Nice ass"

I'm neither a girl, nor do I like people looking at my ass, no matter how nice it may be. At least it was a girl that said it.

Well, cute bum she said. But still the same.

OT:
Hmm, I once got a compliment for not being a dick, and a good listener, when a female friend was talking to me, an hour straight about problems in her life. If I didn't want to listen and help her I'd just told her. She didnt have to give me a compliment..

 

[Mr Snuffles]

An acquaintance of mine said that I have really nice eyes... I am a man, he is also a man...

I kind of edged away from him after that...