Grey Carter said:
Grimsinger said:
The art on these just keeps getting better and better. However I do have a question, On the fourth panel, is Erin dodging or being hit? The motion of Gabe is very clear and was obviously carefully planned and executed, but given the degree of Erin's twist, I would say she was dodging. On closer inspection, I have concluded that she was struck, which is all well and good, but if i could offer some suggestions....
First I applaud you on your lack of sound effects, as I feel they are rather overused, but in its current state, the reader might be unsure of what happened. If you grasp the edge of a table (to simulate being pinned there with a sport), you can actually get a lot of twist before you have to move your hand, so perhaps more spin is whats needed. Either way, I just though I'd stop in and give you my thoughts, I love the comic, and the art is honestly, impressive looking at where it came from. Keep up the good work guys, lord knows I'll be back for more laughs.
I agree it wasn't clear whether or not Erin is taking the blow and I did consider using either a sound effect or some kind of explamation from Erin to indicate she's being hit. Buuut the strip is based, pretty much panel for panel, on the original Watchmen panels and they didn't use sound effects or motion lines. I thought authenticity was more important in this case.
Since its directly based on Watchmen, then hot having any sound was the right call to make. Man i can't believe I didn't catch that, its been a few years since I read Watchmen last. (probably because I don't really like Alan Moore's writing) I think the only difference is that Rorschach, while having about the same angle from the ground plane, had a much more arched back, causing the balance to looked forced rather than the less extreme arch one would use while dodging. His head is thrown more up and back, because the backhand had come from bellow because it is the same hand using the fork. His wide splayed hand also added to the feeling of unbalance, because no one throws their arm out like that, unless trying to correct extremely off balance.
......I just realized you might find all this insulting.....or something? That's not my intention, I'm a huge believer in the medium of comics, and thus, try to toss out suggestions when I can. I too am sequential artist, and I hope that when my projects hit the web, someone will give me all the critique they can. Some times I forget not all people would appreciate it, so if I've offended you, I'm deeply sorry.
By the way, I was rather surprised that you responded at all, in my experience, when faced with critique, most comics artist on the internet either ignore it, or delete it. So I gotta say, I appreciate and respect that you took the time to respond to my posts.
