Criticize Your All Time Favorite Game...HARSHLY

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lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Rocklobster99 said:
Madara XIII said:
The ones that increase your life and Devil Trigger.
For christ sakes man, READ. It's your friend.
Like I said, you must be terrible at the game if you need to use items.

Extended gauges are nothing more than a crutch.
Oh noes! Someone is somewhat less skilled at a game than you, and uses an implemented system that's meant for them!

Shove off and go play Street Fight IV on hardest or something. After all, you're TERRIBLE at Street Fighter if you have to use the crutch of easier difficulties. And Heaven FORBID that you'd be less than tournament-worthy at a game, right?

EDIT: While we're at it, weapons? Who needs weapons? They're crutches. Every REAL good player plays the whole game wielding nothing but their BARE HANDS when the game allows it. You'd have to be terrible at the game to have to use those damage boosters.

So, as I said, shove off.

ANOTHER EDIT: It's funny that you posted in the "Moments You Say 'F**k this Game'" thread in between your posts on this one. Because consistency is for wimps, right?
 

C F

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Madara XIII said:
Bernzz said:
Goddamn right it was near perfect....but yeah. The Fission Metroids made me hate life itself in that damn underground cavern before fighting Metroid Prime
Ugh, I can attest to that. Also, the first half of the Phazon mines felt like a sluggish chore to get through.

-Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn-
Ugh, what's with all the point of view switching? I hardly ever get to use my favorite characters, my units are out there going wild with my preciously fragile high-caliber weapons when I'm not even controlling them (not to mention they don't get EXP), the story has a horrible resolution that was established within the last act just to justify teaming everyone up (wasting a beautifully-established plot), laguz units who aren't royalty are useless, and the freaking hero of the story doesn't show up until halfway through the game (which is just as well because he's a laughably broken tank who cleaves through everything even remotely resembling a challenge).

Plus, we get too many uber units. What's the point of using the Dawn Brigade? In the first act, they get the Black "my-sword-can-and-will-wreck-you-before-either-of-us-have-even-had-our-morning-coffee" Knight and the Nailah the Wolf Queen to bail them out of tight spots, and these are two units who are on par with your end-game material.

Okay. I think I'm done.
...
Waaait.
The frig was with the whole "Lehran" thing? Why can't we just have a straight-forward penultimate boss surrounded by a crapton of T2 and T3 units guarding the door to the real deal? I mean, I got all these blessed weapons and beefed up soldiers; I don't want to have to fight a bunch of magic light-bulbs with them. I don't even get combat scenes when I kill them. How am I supposed to admire the zweihänder gymnastics? And I definitely don't want to get shamed for killing an emotionless Bishōnen omincidal maniac when he all but asks for it.
Okay, yeah. Now I'm done.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
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Myst hasn't aged all that gracefully, and a lot of the puzzles are just plain fucking random. The Selenetic Age tramway puzzle, anyone? That was just rage-inducing, seriously. The whole thing is very much over-designed and reeks of the Millers more or less giving in to Lit Geek fetishes. "Wouldn't it be cool if Myst Island had, like, an H.G. Wells-type rocket? Oooh, and what about a sunken ship! I fucking loved Treasure Island as a kid!"

Then there's Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. Best RPG Ever, yeah, sure, but the bugs. For God's sake, man, the BUGS! Game breaking, system-locking, save-corrupting, questline-destroying and progress-erasing bugs! Even with the one official patch and the fan patches included! Goddamn you, Activision, for shooting Troika in the balls and forcing them to get an untested Source Engine beta!
 

Squilookle

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Goldeneye (you know which one): You don't have multiplayer bots. True, consoles never even had a truly fluid FPS on them before you, and bots wouldn't show up for years to come, but the fact remains that if you had bots in multiplayer I'd probably still be playing it alongside Perfect Dark, instead of only playing your singleplayer (and loving it).

Also your Multiplayer level design wasn't too good. Too many dead ends and bottlencks. Thank god for Complex though- the best multi level in Goldeneye AND Perfect Dark.

Also Why U no HD remake?

Mercenaries Playground of Destruction: You had amazing variety in how to approach an objective, but stealth is never really one of them if you're on foot. Why include a suppressed SMG or shotgun if you can't ever sneak up to goons to use them on? Especially in the Ace contracts that were all at night? Also you tease us with the best aircraft in the game but don't let us buy them or find them parked anywhere. The only way to get an Apache is to snipe the pilot which affects faction standing. Also seeing jets fly over all the time and deliver all the great airstrikes without ever being able to use one yourself was a bummer.

Also Why U no on PC?

The Saboteur: The opposite of Mercenaries. Great on foot stealth, but poor effort with vehicles. Mercenaries had great Tank combat everywhere, but The Saboteur barely lets you touch the controls of tanks. And again, we see planes overhead all the time, but can't use any. Considering how much the game was about blowing up nazi installations, how awesome would it have been to steal a Stuka from an airfield and bomb sniper towers while chased by fighters, or even steal a 109 and duke it out with them above the citizens of Paris?

Battlefield 1942: Ahh Battlefield- I can barely fault your multiplayer, but I don't care what anyone says- Battlefield can and should do singleplayer. Honestly '42 could have had the most diverse singleplayer ever seen- it had gunplay, naval warfare, tanks and aircraft. You could have had various missions for each of them all over the globe, for different nationalities, too. You could have been the Operation Flashpoint of WW2, but instead you called it a day with botmatches, and in subsequent battlefields gradually downgraded singleplayer to almost nothing while focussing on singleplayer. Bad Company was hugely promising, but from BC2 onwards it became clear that you have no idea how to do singleplayer, so you're just gonna copy COD. I hate to say it, but your amateurish yet quirky Codename Eagle from way back in 1999 had a better singleplayer than BC2 and BF3 combined, and that's really saying something.

Just Cause 2: -Quick Time events. The ammo shortage I can deal with, but for the love of god you better not pull that QTE crap on us ever again. Hijacking worked fine in Just Cause 1, but with 2 you just shot yourself in the foot by copying Mercenaries 2's god awful system (pro-tip. Don't mimic ANYTHING from that terrible game). Let us hijack stuff instantly. Also the popped tyres and damaged engines didn't really enhance anything. Vehicles need Critical Existence Failure next time, like in JC1.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I don't really have an all-time favourite game, so here's a couple:

Skies of Arcadia Legends
-Vyse is so saccharine to the point I sometimes wish to murder him. Sepiroth The Great Pansy Ramirez has a major character moment that is so ridiculous it makes "Because Ponies" lose all meaning.
-Grinding magic is freaking stupid and tiresome.
-Running from battles hurts your status really bad, so that even a few will impact you for...Certain things. This is the remake, and the original was supposed to be even worse.

Pokémon (series)
-Stories are usually pretty dumb. Like Forrest Gump and Homer Simpson somehow made a baby dumb.
-Event Pokémon.
-So many crap Pokémon. In a game with so many choices, it's a shame that so many suck. I'm not just talking the metagame, either.
-Extra requirements: Peripherals, websites, social thingies...GAH!

That was kind of weak. Ummm...

Red Dead Redemption
-The fact that there's like five towns and a thousand miles of untamed land is cool...For about five minutes.
-Marston spends 80% of the game threatening to kill guys if they jerk him around again. Over and over. The story modeis basically "Get this for me." "Okay, but if you fuck me over, I'ma kill you." "Good, now get this for me." "Okay, but if you fuck me over, I'ma kill you." "Good, now...."
-As such, Marston's one of the most ineffectual punk as protagonists I've ever come across.
-Controls are terrible and sluggish. Actually, apply this to most Rockstar games I like.

Saints Row 2
-Actually, I got nothing as far as harsh gripes. Damn.
 

Mikejames

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Jan 26, 2012
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Picking one I haven't seen yet..

Deadly Premonition, with your slog of a combat system and abuse of QTEs there is no shame in immediately starting over on easy mode, and if it wasn't for the writing I probably wouldn't have gotten through the first few chapters.
For every example of a lovely use of music in a scene, there's going to be one with a loud whistling tune juxtaposed to it.
The surreal dream sequences can be an interesting change of pace, but only when you're not forced to walk at the speed of a toddler down a path that made ME3's nightmares seem speedy; and despite the overall presentation some animations are stiff even by PS2 standards. Also, final boss. Saw it coming.

Yet for some reason I still wish to spread this experience.


Sir Pootis said:
Psychonauts:
Also, the latter part of the game contains a large tower section, where if you fall, you're going to fall back to the start. Also not helped by awquard jumps and the camera facing slightly downward while using Levitation.
The exploding rats... *shudder*
 

YCRanger

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Jul 31, 2011
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Zachary Amaranth said:
-Marston spends 80% of the game threatening to kill guys if they jerk him around again. Over and over. The story modeis basically "Get this for me." "Okay, but if you fuck me over, I'ma kill you." "Good, now get this for me." "Okay, but if you fuck me over, I'ma kill you." "Good, now...."
-As such, Marston's one of the most ineffectual punk as protagonists I've ever come across.
YES. So much yes. Everyone talks about how he is such a great protagonist. Maybe if they removed the stick that is firmly planted up his bum. They have all these other colorful characters but Marston ruins it by not playing off of them at all. Just "you better not be messing with me" etc.
 

PunkRex

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Feb 19, 2010
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Psychonauts

- Theres a difference between difficulty and bad level design, the Meat Circus was hard because it was timed and confusing. It wouldn't have been a problem if it was played like other levels or set out in a more linear path but I was running in circles half the time.
- The camera liked to mess you about in mid air.

Timesplitters 3

-Peeps complained there was a lack of variety, so they added vehicle and puzzle games... they did this badly. The vehicle sections were long and controled like arse, not to mention they often took place in tight corridors... and those puzzles were just easy and pointless.

Pikmin 2

- HOW DEEP IS THIS F*CKING CAVE!?!
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Mikejames said:
The exploding rats... *shudder*
Turn invisible, they can't attack you.

Set them on fire, they ALL die instantly.

Ford Cruller even tells you this. It was a bit of a game-breaker, all things considered.

I have no idea why anyone had any difficulty with the rats.
 

babinro

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Sep 24, 2010
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Rock Band:

This is surprisingly easy because I only truly enjoy the drums. Here goes though:
- DLC is a HUGE cash grab
- The guitar and bass don't even remotely emulate reality. Drums and keyboard can translate to some degree to reality but guitar and bass are a complete waste of time. For this reason they simply aren't that much fun.
- Vocals are terrible. It's based solely off pitch and in no way improves someones vocals over time. Lazy design.
- The equipment for the game is low quality. I've gone through 5 drum kits. My friend went through 3 before buying an electronic kit. At first it was an issue with the pedal, but later and more importantly it was the snare's that died requiring complete replacements.
Cymbols cross-talk even after using online mods to degrade their sensitivity. You have to deliberately tap certain combinations very softly which is precisely the opposite thing you want to do.
 

mitchell271

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Sep 3, 2010
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Super Mario World
Uh... it... uh... those... um... Oh! I know!
Those things scared the crap out of me as a kid!

Portal 2
Not very challenging except for the co-op mode. Some of the puzzles were a little obtuse the first time I played through it but after that it wasn't so bad.

Mass Effect 2
What happened to the RPG in my RPG? No customisation what-so-ever apart from basic gun choice and what skin Shepard had. I miss going through my inventory to see if I had picked up a better gun because if you did you feel that immediate boost in strength.
 

Mikejames

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lacktheknack said:
I have no idea why anyone had any difficulty with the rats.
In my defense, they respawned and came from any ledge on all sides, and once the first one goes off the radius of attack left you vulnerable for the rest. I suppose I associate them with re-climbing the same area as well, so I'll just chalk it under user-error..
On the other hand, I don't look at the meat circus as bitterly as some people, despite the bollocks escort bit.
 

SadisticBrownie

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May 9, 2011
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Final Fantasy IX.
Why, Disc 4, why? You were doing so well.
Also, steal chance was so ridiculously low at times it made me mad enough to eat bricks.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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Mikejames said:
lacktheknack said:
I have no idea why anyone had any difficulty with the rats.
In my defense, they respawned and came from any ledge on all sides, and once the first one goes off the radius of attack left you vulnerable for the rest. I suppose I associate them with re-climbing the same area as well, so I'll just chalk it under user-error..
On the other hand, I don't look at the meat circus as bitterly as some people, despite the bollocks escort bit.
They respawn?

Oh lawd. That never happened to me thank heavens. I just went invisible whenever I heard the infernal squeak and set all the things on fire, and didn't fall off the tower.

Also, I quite liked the Meat Circus. Maybe it's because I got lucky and finished the escort quest quickly and by accident.
 

Haefulz

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Jun 17, 2012
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gmaverick019 said:
hazabaza1 said:
gmaverick019 said:
Haefulz said:
Pokemon

-The story is always super cheesy, and while the franchise has made small steps in the right direction with Black and Whit 1 & 2, it still kind of sucks.
-There hasn't been a really really awesome rival since Gary/Blue.
-The in-game trainers don't use any in-depth strategy at all, making it super easy to just sweep through their entire team. Most of the time, when you don't win against a tough trainer, it's because your monsters aren't at a high enough level, not because you're going about the battle the wrong way
-Certain legendary Pokemon being obtainable only through promotional events sucks. I'll probably never get my hands on a Mew or a Celebi.
-Forcing me to teach my party Pokemon battle-useless HM moves to get to cool areas.
gary/blue?!?!?!

what.the.fuck.is.wrong.with.you.

blue is the stunt double wanna be that no one talks about, RED IS HIS NAME.
Red is the name of the main character.

OT:
I'm still debating whether I prefer Persona 4 or The Walking Dead. But either way, Persona 4 takes way too fucking long to get started and TWD...the facial animation is bad in the first few episodes?
Woops I misread "Rival" as "Rivalry" for some reason and assumed he was speaking about both. (I could be 100% wrong, but I thought in pokemon red/blue their was choices for both characters to be red or blue? and usually ash defaulted to red and gary to blue, but Like I said could be wrong.)
Blue is the name of Red's rival in the manga/games, and Gary from the show is based on that character. I was saying that there hasn't been a rival as good as him in the games. I just said "Gary/Blue" because technically in the games it's not actually Gary, but a lot of people refer to him as Gary. I wasn't saying the main character's name was Blue.
 

ensouls

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corneth said:
Madara XIII said:
Man oh man I cannot tell you the frustration I felt when trying to get back on Aggro mid Colossus fight
the sound of Wander shouting "Aggro!" will never leave my mind.
I may have laughed joyfully when
Aggro finally eats it.

I find it hard to pick one game, so I'll just throw in the worst bits of all my favourites:

-Calamity Cannon is useless at anything but super far range.
-Last colossus is buggy as hell.
-Camera angles are the real boss fight in Meat Circus.
-Can't put a water cannon on the Apache.
-Never going to get any closure in the series.
-Blackjack everyone in three levels, whoops we mislaid your save file
-Being permanently obfuscated is fun, but gets boring
 

Skin

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Dec 28, 2011
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Half-Life 2.

Outdone by the original HL in terms of story and immersion.

Outdone by Halo in terms of gunplay, AI and physics (yes, Halo's physics were much, much funner than HL's)

Overly linear.

Terrible, TERRIBLE fucking vehicle sections.
 

Gmans uncle

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Oct 17, 2011
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Banjo Kazooie

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/de/BanjoKazooieCover500px.jpg/250px-BanjoKazooieCover500px.jpg

- You spend the entire game doing nothing but collecting things.
- The story's about as simplistic as it gets.
- Some of the collectibles were hidden ridiculously well.
- having to collect every note again whenever you die in a level is very tedious.
- Grunty's rhyming gets very obnoxious, very fast.
- That entire game show bit near the end is infuriating as hell.

But I don't even care, it's still the best game ever.
 

Crazyjay

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Jan 6, 2010
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Battlefield 1942

Not the best game ever made but it is still my favorite. Vehicle vs vehicle and infantry vs infantry combat are great, but infantry vs vehicle is just frustrating, because unless you are behind the vehicle and have a bazooka you are fucked. Putting tanks and giving soldiers three grenades in maps where there are only 10 foot streets to go around means its an explosive clusterfuck. Registration is probably the worst it has ever been in any game. There are times bullets won't register even though the enemy is being afk and thats just not acceptable. Anti air tear apart planes in three seconds, which means the difference between flying high and being evaporated is hardly there. The explosions from bombers are huge, where if you are in a 30 meter radius of it you will die, and they drop 6 fucking bombs. Some of the maps are poorly made, with one side almost always getting crushed do to spawn locations.
 

SilkySkyKitten

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Oct 20, 2009
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GunsmithKitten said:
Doom

Same thing. Over. And over. And over. And over.

Get keys. Don't die.

That's all, folks.

Also an AI that's about as bright as a comatose goldfish.
Also throw in the fact that the final boss was pathetic and easy compared to the Cyberdemon (which, excluding the 4th episode thrown in later, was basically the mid-game boss) and you pretty much have my example right there.