D&D: THAT person in the group

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Mushroom Camper
Sep 30, 2009
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I think I'm probably that guy. Only thing that springs to mind though is trying to sneak into a cultist ceremony using invisibility powder. The plan might had worked had it not been raining at the time. It still gives me a chuckle picturing my charactor tippy-toeing towards the alter, unaware that everyone can see him.
 

Jaeke

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Feb 25, 2010
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Well, I don't play D&D and some of these posts are confusing. Are you discussing the table-top or the online version??

OP: Again, this isn't D&D, but in WoW me and a couple family members were just starting out on Horde as Sanoes the Troll Warrior, Unga The Orc Warrior, and Valdr the Undead Warlock, and thought we could try out Ragefire Chasm. Mind you, this was before Instance Finders and Que's, but anyway that first starting part with the circular room and to its right there was a rising path that obscured anything behind it, and Unga decided he would trek along as the mighty champion that he had assumed he was because of his new shiney shoulderpads that he had equipped.

Anyways, I, and my companion Valdr, promptly finished off the last Rock Worm and their Rock Golem master, and turned to behind us. The following image was a huge flash of blue letters arranged as this:

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!"
"What!?! WHAT!?! What is... HOLY SHIT!!!"

I hate trogs.
 

artanis_neravar

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Apr 18, 2011
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cjspyres said:
Actually, I wouldn't even consider this to be irritating or ridiculous. The only thing ridiculous about this is how good of roleplaying it sounds. Congrats on the awesome character.
Mortai Gravesend said:
I dunno, that sounds pretty awesome. And the start of an evil empire that future heroes would need to take down =P

I've been betrayed like that before in games and if done well I found it awesome instead of annoying.
It may not have helped that I had them executed after I won the war, they want to join me, but I figured after I destroyed their kingdoms that it took them three years to get, trusting them would be a stupid idea. Oh and the DM kept a journal of all the things I did in secret, like sending my own undead minions against the group to frame someone who had an artifact I wanted, killed a characters love interest blaming the main bad guy, things like that.
 

pffh

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cjspyres said:
Sangreal Gothcraft said:
Well i play Neverwinter Nights for around....8 years now, had lots of THAT GUYS and GALS, I have a huge list..... Half Dargon Demi gods who are complete ass holes, Vampires walking in Sunlight and not caring because he was special, CG Half fiends who was a Paladin. Evil Celestials who became evil without any rp>.>. i got a huuuuuge list, some are quite funny, other are just face palm worthy. Though only character i stuck with was a Half Fiend rouge who slepted with everything and would steal people's pants and sell it for alcohol. I never really made a serious character, Except for an Aasimar Cleric of Kelevmor.
....Chaotic Good....Half-Fiend....Paladin? Does somebody not know how to play? At least the Evil Celestial would make sense, if they'd have made a backstory.
Well there is a lawful good Succubus paladin of order in the official WotC 3.5 material and paladins of freedom are chaotic good so there is really nothing wrong with that half fiend.
 

Lunar Shadow

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I am of the class of GMs that anything but cheating is kosher as long as you can justify it to my (admittedly rather lax) standards. As long as everyone is having fun, I don't care what a person plays. That said, there actions do have consequences, and blatant stupidity will get you killed.
 

doomspore98

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One of the awesomest DnD campaigns of my life was when my friend decided to create a pure orc character with triple headed flails for arms. He had no armor apart from a loin cloth, and when not in battle my character would put him in a cage so he wouldn't randomly kill people. At level one he had a 25 strength and a 5 intelligence (the lowest our DM would let him go.) I was playing a wizard character and we were running through this city being attacked by goblins. We get to one part of the city and there is this guard in the water drowning. Being the idiot that my friend is, he jumps in with no arms and tries to save the guy. Before I continue I would like to say that he was the biggest damage dealer in the party. While he is failing every saving through ever, we get our asses handed to us by 4 goblin drake riders. Eventful campaign that was.
 
Jul 11, 2011
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karloss01 said:
GasMasksAreForChumps said:
karloss01 said:
We had a crazy druid player who rode a giant gorilla who he had an "intimate" relationship and also like other animals to join in on the fun, most of the time it was forced. Right at the beginning of the campaign he decided to rape the pack mule which died of shock and pissed off the player who spent his gold on it.

He died by my character?s hand who was being mind controlled by a vampire, cleaved both him and his ape with a single swing of my greatsword.
That is the funniest thing I've heard all day, jesus I can't stop laughing. What did the other party members do when he was ummm "intimate" with the pack mule?
pretty much this


just pure silence while the cleric player raged at the druid. we then made the druid carry the luggage.
And I'm guessing the party always stayed 5 meters away from the druid after that?
 

Sangreal Gothcraft

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cjspyres said:
Sangreal Gothcraft said:
Well i play Neverwinter Nights for around....8 years now, had lots of THAT GUYS and GALS, I have a huge list..... Half Dargon Demi gods who are complete ass holes, Vampires walking in Sunlight and not caring because he was special, CG Half fiends who was a Paladin. Evil Celestials who became evil without any rp>.>. i got a huuuuuge list, some are quite funny, other are just face palm worthy. Though only character i stuck with was a Half Fiend rouge who slepted with everything and would steal people's pants and sell it for alcohol. I never really made a serious character, Except for an Aasimar Cleric of Kelevmor.
....Chaotic Good....Half-Fiend....Paladin? Does somebody not know how to play? At least the Evil Celestial would make sense, if they'd have made a backstory.
yeah, man i got a huuuuge list of character fails and lolz.
 

Fightgarr

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Dec 3, 2008
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My group doesn't really have a ridiculous person. Rather, the group doesn't have 1 ridiculous person. We're all kind of ridiculous. That said, we don't try to break the rules, we don't try to do anything that requires ECL's. We just happen to roleplay ridiculous characters. The thing is, as much as we love the mechanics of D&D (or Call of Cthulhu, or Fate or Pathfinder or whatever we happen to be playing), we love roleplaying more, and we have a tendency to make characters that we think would have hilarious interactions. I wouldn't have D&D any other way. Yes, a lot of the time our character decisions are stupid and get us killed. No we do not get upset when that happens. I mean, tabletop games are essentially an inside joke generator as it is so you may as well make those experiences a cavalcade of absurdity. Take for example our current Call of Cthulhu game (Ancient Rome setting): I play a slimy, underhanded brothel owner, my good friend plays an 80 year-old Yiddish Mid-wife. Our characters act as one another's foils for their own ridiculous behavior and it makes the game better. Sure, we could play very serious characters who are competent in the appropriate skills who could, with relative ease, get through/survive the entire adventure, but I somehow doubt that any of us, including the Keeper, would have nearly so much fun.

I get what you mean, though. Rules lawyers are no fun, and I certainly do not have any love for people playing all manner of ridiculous races and prestige classes. But to say that rules lawyers, the guy playing a half-dragon, the power gamer and the guy who plays a Jawa and then spends his entire character's short life shoving his hands in people's pockets are all categorized under "THAT guy" is a bit of a generalizing statement. There are tons of "that guy"s, it's up to the GM to not take their shit. If the person is worth being around, they won't mind a few things being prohibited. If the person is not worth being around, kick 'em out of the game.
 

Terminate421

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cjspyres said:
. Whether it be someone trying to make a ridiculous character out of non-basic races.
So I cannot play as this:



or this:



So I have to play as one of these?



But thats BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG
 

The87Italians

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Jun 17, 2009
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That almost perfectly describes my whole group. We're not really sure what we're doing half the time, but pretty much anything will go as long as the dice says so.
 

ChildofGallifrey

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Atlas13 said:
I've never experienced "That Guy" before, however I have stumbled across the most amazing "That Guy" story in all of existence. Ladies and Gentlemen: Old Man Henderson
Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503

I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won' Call of Cthulhu?

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06 27 No.10966512

I do

Alright then, I'd like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. Bullshit tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity. The others continued to allow this faggotry. We were playing a modem day setting, with the other players being a college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicon and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately. And then... there was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name.

Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam.
He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74. (And I will be fucking amazed if anyone gets that reference.)
Old Man Henderson wore combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath.
He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia. allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy shit was because he WAS a little bit crazy.
He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk.
He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason.
He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations.
He had a Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use.
He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books.
His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawngnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it.
Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly.
You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in.

The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold.

1. to ensure the GM would never actually read it and
2. Since he would never read it except for in excerpts I pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY
3. Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasn't simply the game wrecking bullshit that it was.

Dickish yes, but he really did have it coming.

First outing of the group. The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera. The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information.
Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in.
While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULTI 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?"

Did I mention that he had a nigh-incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me?
The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows.
One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists.
Old Man Henderson then pissed on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered '92 Buick Century, and went home. The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and nobody thought to get the Buick's plates.
The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did.
It only got crazier from there.

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07.36 No.10967215

I must have more, good sir!

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07 37 No 10967237

Typing up the full exploits of Old Man Henderson would take too long, can I just give you the highlights reel?

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07.38 No.10967240

I will settle for that

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07 47 No 10967295

All Right-ey then
Some of his finer moments include:

* Dropping a Yacht onto a penthouse suite owned by Cthulhu Cultists.
* The stealing of said Yacht from cultists of Hastur, thereby starting a cultist gang-war.
* The Tanker truck incident,
* and my personal favorite: Hell on Ice.

Which one do you want to hear about first?

dashingbastard 07/06/10(Tue)07.48 No.10967307

Dropping the Yacht.
Lets take it from the top.

Old Man Henderson, with his erstwhile companion Jimmy (the Jock) and his Friends William Brocklaw, a once humble bartender (The now dead Detective's player. Old Man Henderson burned down his bar on accident and blamed it on the cultists. One bluff check later and he in the Posse.), and Simon Breckenridge, British Spy (the Professor's player, now six characters in. And yes, they were more or less all killed by Old Man Henderson).
Old Man Henderson had discovered that there was not one cult to the Elder Gods, but several. This complicated his search for his gnomes/crusade. He decided to enlist help in making the problem solve itself.
Using his contacts, Simon discovered that a Influential Cultist of Hastur was coming to town to try and figure out how an Avatar of his god was killed. (More on this in the tanker truck incident.) He also located the exact dock on which he would be landing his boat.
Jimmy, meanwhile discovered the home of the head of the local Cthulhu cults was at a penthouse suite downtown. A plan was hatched.

Old Man Henderson used all of his cunning to steal a Military Cargo Helicopter (read: Shoruyken'd the pilot and flew off), and hid it in an abandoned warehouse.
Jimmy, and Will set up a VERY EXPENSIVE surround sound speaker system at the docks, while Simon made and planted a lot of smoke bombs.
That night, the Yacht pulled in, and we made our move.
Right as Simon maneuvered the Helicopter over the docks, we set off the Smoke bombs and activated the Speakers.
On one side: A fifty piece marching band playing 'God Save the Queen' at max volume, and on the other the audio from the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan.
Imagine, for a moment what being on the dock would have been like.
Utter. Fucking. CHAOS.

I jumped down from the Helicopter onto the boat, and rigged it to lilt out of there. During the course of which I ran into the cultist guy and Ninja Kicked him in the head, knocking him tail-over-teakettle and off the boat. I later learned that he broke his neck in the fall.
Damned convenient, otherwise he might have have been able to ID me. We then lilted the boat out of there, switched to out secondary audio on all sides (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. I was in a vengeful mood, gnome stealing bastards.) So when the cultists finally got the smoke to clear their Yacht was gone, their leader dead. And Celine Dion was stuck in their heads. Not the best of days.
Then we went across tow, in a stolen Military Cargo chopper, carrying a 40 foot yacht, and 'parked' the helicopter above the penthouse, with the yacht about 80 feet above it. Then we cut the line, jumped out with our parachutes, and watched the yacht ruin a dinner party while placing bets on whether the military would save the chopper, blow it up, or if it would just hover there until it ran out of fuel.

Now, time for what will forever be known as 'The tanker truck incident'. Notice 'The' is capitalized. This is because no matter what incidents in the future may involve tanker trucks, this is the definitive one.
It started out innocently enough, Old Man Henderson left the stakeout in a van outside the evil cult's meeting place to go get some hooch. The only people now there are the Detective, and James Fink (the professor's second character). Jimmy was gone because it was a school night (Old Man Henderson was a bad influence, but damned if he didn't have the kid's best interests at heat.)
The cultists see me leaving had a very distinct appearance, after all. (VERY USEFUL in scoring TPKs.), and discover my friends spying on them. The detective gets a pretty GAR death, and James dies like a *****. But not yet.
I'm on my way back, walking along. The Detective and James had been brought inside as part of a ritual to give Hastur an avatar in our world (he had been banished, and the only way he could come here is via a loophole). He could only use people who knew he existed and had thwarted him thrice as a host, and then he had to make them drink the life-blood of their closest friend to make the binding permanent. In case you're wondering, permanent binding = GAME OVER.

The first part of the ritual was completed, but before Hastur could take control, the detective broke James' shackles and he tried to run.
He made it as far as the street, when the detective (now Hastur) caught up with him, part demon-form.
Now where this church (for lack of a better term) was located, was at the end of the road on a T shaped intersection. There was a gas-station about three blocks away, which is where Old Man Henderson was while this was going down.
Old Man Henderson sees the shit hit the fan, and steals a half-full tanker truck that WAS refilling the station's holding tank.
While I bring the truck up to ramming speed, I toss a 12 lb block of C4 in the passenger seat and rig the detonator to the airbags.

Old Man Henderson then took a bracing shot of whiskey, jammed a knife through the gas pedal, then jumped of of the truck onto his heelies. Yes, he modified his combat boots to have heelies. I swear to god I had not planned this to happen, the heelies just sounded like something fucking ridiculous and in character.
He watched the truck ram the detective into the church, the blew him and all the cultists to Kingdom Come. The truck also killed James by running him over.
That's when the back-trail ignited, fire going all the way back to the gas-station and destroying it; continuing my streak of accidentally destroying anything that might lead people back to Old Man Henderson.
I took a moment to call Jimmy.
"Henderson here. Figured out what the nasties are weak against."
"What's that, Mr. Henderson?"
"Point blank annihilation."
'click'

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:04 No.10968068

Does anyone care If I throw up Hell on ice? It's my favorite of the bunch, but if nobody cares I'll save it for later.
Almost forgot to mention, there was a bar right next to the gas station called 'the Homble Revelation', which was the one that Will had owned.

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09 08 No.109681 18

fuckin' do it you crazy son of a *****

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09 09 No.10968126

For the love of god MORE.

Okie-doke. We were in the endgame, with zombies and shoggoths chasing us I managed to get Jimmy disappeared, so it was Old Man Henderson, Simon and Will going to the final strong-point we had an abandoned hockey stadium.
On the way there, we had rammed through a small home-and-garden store in our truck. And when we arrived, we started barring the doors and windows, when I noticed something. Our trip through the store had netted us a passenger- a single lawn gnome.
Somehow, I knew right then that this was it. No lucky turn of fate, no Deus Ex Machina... Old Man Henderson was going to die. But I'd be damned if it wouldn't be the best fucking last stand ever.

I then revealed to the GM that Henderson was a world champion figure skater, hockey player, and golfer.
The Backstory of Doom got one final use.
We had got almost all of the doors barricaded, but the zombie/shoggoth army kicked in the last door and got Simon, Will was pulled off the Zamboni after he manage to throw the Crate onto the ice.
The crate full of exploding hockey pucks.
Lasted a couple of minutes while blasting Bust A Move (Young MC) before the situation resolved into totally fucked I switched to the next track as I yelled "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR!" The next track came on, it was the Canadian national anthem, which Old Man Henderson began to sing proudly, at the top of his lungs.
I then threw out the three pieces of knowledge that marked Old Man Henderson's Blaze Of Glory.

1. Calling Hastur's name 3 times will summon him, but only if the one who is truest foe at the time calls it. (Guess who.)
2. When an elder god is summoned from beyond, they suffer a sort of summoning sickness. They're still unbelievably strong, but can be killed FOREVER if you hit them hard enough.
3. The building had enough explosives wired to make Michal Bay blush.

And that my friends, is the tale of how Old Man Henderson won Call of Cthulhu.
Oh my various gods, that's the most incredible thing I've ever heard of! I'm an actor by trade and I still couldn't come up with anything half that insane! My hat is truly and forever off to whomever came up with that one.
 

RN7

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While my main goal is never actually to un-optimize a character, I find myself doing this alot when I create the character I want to dick around with. Like my Illithid Warden. Because having a brain-eating octopoid otherworldy defender nature is the best way to go.
 

Nillez

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Jul 6, 2010
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Short and simple: The entire group.

As a DM, after spending a lot of time on a detailed adventure etc, it sucks when the group running through the adventure just kind of tries to think of the dumbest things possible to do. Kills the fun for the story, but it's always a good laugh.
 

mirror's edgy

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Tazzy da Devil said:
In the one game I played, me and one of the other players had a competition to see who could preform the craziest kill. The results were entertaining. I killed a goblin with a frozen chicken, and he killed another one by crushing it with a door. I think we were both that guy.
Wait, was this door still on its hinges? I'm not sure if that would be more or less wacky.
 

mirror's edgy

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Our party's Barbarian has an undying obsession with collecting corpse parts to incorporate into his wardrobe and/ or keep as trophies. We went through a cave full of kobolds and I don't even want to imagine how his backpack smells.
 

likalaruku

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Nov 29, 2008
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OMG, a week or 2 ago, I listened to "The Spoony One" talk about 3 of his most insane experiences with different weirdos ruining the fun for everyone.

Most memorable was the guy who, after being an hour late, called to say that he had to return home, as he'd left without his pants. & when they played at his house, his girlfriend made a super annoying character & called one of the guys a "wetback." http://spoonyexperiment.com/2012/03/12/counter-monkey-the-importance-of-wearing-pants/

If you are doing something in dead silence & good at multitasking, I recommend going over to The Spoony Experiment & listening to Noah's Countermonkey series. I got a good laugh out of em.
http://spoonyexperiment.com/category/counter-monkey/
 

Berenzen

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I have to admit that I might be one of those guys. When I create a character, I try to push alignment to the limit. I've created a Lawful Good cleric in Pathfinder that believed that it was good to forcibly convert people to Iomedae no matter the means, and purge the world of evil. I actually ended up getting into an argument with a paladin when we were thrown into a prisoner dilemma with orc children. He didn't want to kill them and my character wanted to go all 'sins of the father' on their asses. I really liked that character, as it allowed me to be a much darker LG character.