Dates And Bragging

[miketehmage]

Of course, all my experiences with men chatting me up in bars tends to either end or begin (and promptly end) with them stating "nice tits." Such enlightening conversation.

HAHAHA I actually properly laughed at this. Guys really do that? I would never have thought that would work. I guess now I know for sure it doesn't.


OT: I've never really been on a date I usually just attempt (and fail 80% of the time) to pick up girls in clubs. So I guess I don't really have much of an experience like that. Also I find that girls don't really tend to brag too much anyway?

I guess a kind of fun story I could share at my own expense is recently I turned 20 and went out, and I was talking to this girl and we seemed to be getting on okay. I'd asked her what she was doing at college to which she answered "Music Production". A few minutes later the conversation kind of died and so to continue it I decided I would ask her more about her course. Unfortunately however as it was my birthday I was totally blitzed and had forgotten what it was she did. So I said "What is it you do again, art?". To which she looks at me blankly and says "Art?". "Yeah" I say. She then proceeds to walk away from me. Whats worse is I then realized I'd also forgotten her name.

I hated myself for the rest of the night.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Publicly shaming someone (albeit without giving a name) for attention.
Way to go.

It's not public shaming when she
A) doesn't use his name,
B) didn't post it anywhere he was likely to go (video games were never mentioned in his list of many hobbies),
C) didn't do anything but report what he said and let us make our own assumptions.

If we, the readers, believe him and his amazing skills, then he is not shamed.

 

[Altorin]

my high school ex lied so much it still makes me laugh

she made up a fake sister just so she could talk shit about my ex without me getting mad at her

she made up having a kid who was "living with her dad" pointing out a picture of said baby on her own mantle which happened to be a picture of her

she also made up a brother, and friend of her made up brother who TOTALLY hit on her ALL the time LIKE seriously, in order to make me jealous (it didn't work as I'm not an idiot)

those are the big ones I suppose

I don't know what she was thinking

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

"Hey! I'm a totally unimportant Gas Station Attendant! Can I touch your haaaannnd?!" :3

I almost said my favorite character was Adachi, but I figured I couldn't give him credit for things he said/did in the Comic Videos. "Let's talk about MUR~DER!!!"

I can forgive your lack of League because at least I don't have to listen to half arsed excuses as to why "ehhh I don't need to ward, they're a waste of money!" >.> i'm more of a 2D fighter kind of guy so i'll have to convert you to BlazBlue because ArkSys is the best right now.

Mmm... I have not historically had good luck with non-Namco style fighters. The "fireball motion" has never come naturally to me. Thus Capcom-style (and similar) fighters have been pretty much impossible for me to do well in. I practiced a lot with Darkstalkers 3 and was semi-okay at that one with a couple of characters, but that thing's massively out of date now.

However, the lack of glasses is kind of a big deal... Instead, can you pull off wearing a beret or any other sort of hat stylishly? Then we'll still be in business.

And risk hat-head?! And looking like a Hipster?!

[sub]I was actually going to post a picture of someonoe wearing a beret here, but when I went to look one up, I found someone who looked kinda like me... and wearing a beret, she looked like such a hipster I decided against it (and instead added the hipster comment above). I really dislike the hipster aesthetic. No offense intended to any hipsters reading this - I just don't like the choice of attire for myself.[/sub]

 

[Chris Tian]

snip

This might be out of place, but since you write "another episode" and "this is why I'm single" I take it you mostly meet crazy (and not the fun kind) people. If you only meet crazy people (again not the fun kind) the common denominator is you. This is not supposed to be an attack of any sorts its just the advice I always tell people if they complain about only meeting the "wrong" kind of people.

For some reson you are attracted to the wrong kind of crazy, or vice versa, but for a reason none the less.

OT: Bragging is just a rookie move, and the first couple of facts you wrote about him clearly depict him as a rookie so... no real suprise there. It's a bit like you went out with someone in his early teens.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

snip

This might be out of place, but since you write "another episode" and "this is why I'm single" I take it you mostly meet crazy (and not the fun kind) people. If you only meet crazy people (again not the fun kind) the common denominator is you. This is not supposed to be an attack of any sorts its just the advice I always tell people if they complain about only meeting the "wrong" kind of people.

For some reson you are attracted to the wrong kind of crazy, or vice versa, but for a reason none the less.

OT: Bragging is just a rookie move, and the first couple of facts you wrote about him clearly depict him as a rookie so... no real suprise there. It's a bit like you went out with someone in his early teens.

\

xD You are probably very right. Funny enough right now I am seeing a kind gentleman of whom I'm very interested in. Of course anyone who is attracted to me seems to have some sort of problem. My guess this time is he collects deceased cat heads in his basement. Only time will tell

 

[Aulleas123]

I'm pretty terrible with women on dates (and in general). I often times will go to the other extreme and state about all of the boring humble things in my life. I try to say good things about myself, but to be honest I get incredibly nervous and revert to being overly humble, which any girl will tell you is just as bad as being overly braggy.

OT: I have been on dates when the girl talks about how socially outgoing she is, how much she accomplishes at her office job, how she goes out to the mountains and beaches for her awesome vacations, how she is involved in this or that sport with the most awesome group of teammates ever, and how she gets to do so much with her posse of friends. I don't think that's overly bad, she's basically telling me about herself and it's nice to hear information about my date. But I find two issues with this, first it puts me on the spot since I'm very much an introvert (which is just a difference of personality that makes me nervous to talk about myself), and second telling me about how socially awesome you are isn't very attractive to me.

 

[A_Parked_Car]

Well, I have certainly never been on a date, but I have come across people that think they know everything. Nothing irritates me more than that.

I suppose I will provide one example. I study military history, specifically the Second World War and the Pacific War in particular. Most of the time when somebody asks what I do I give them that answer and the conversation pretty much ends there. However, every once in a while I will meet somebody who insists that they must lecture me on all their extensive 'knowledge' of military history. I have spent the last 6 years of my life studying the stuff and I'm headed to graduate school in the fall, yet I don't even consider myself anywhere even close to an 'expert' on the subject. So no, unnamed person, you are not even remotely informed about the Second World War because you watched some terrible, C-grade 'History' Channel documentary and read an Osprey history of the Tiger tank.

 

[Chris Tian]

xD You are probably very right. Funny enough right now I am seeing a kind gentleman of whom I'm very interested in. Of course anyone who is attracted to me seems to have some sort of problem. My guess this time is he collects deceased cat heads in his basement. Only time will tell

Well, you will never find someone without problems, just find someone with the right problems, if that makes sense.

Here is to hoping your gent collects perfectly healthy kittenheads complete with alive and kicking kittenbodys instead. That would probably be acceptable I assume?

 

[Nickolai77]

xD You are probably very right. Funny enough right now I am seeing a kind gentleman of whom I'm very interested in. Of course anyone who is attracted to me seems to have some sort of problem. My guess this time is he collects deceased cat heads in his basement. Only time will tell

Well, when you do discover this problem do share it with the rest of us! I'm all up for more entertaining threads like this.

I think this is why people like to watch Jeremy Kyle- you think you're pretty fucked up but then you see some real fuck ups and you come out feeling a lot better about yourself for it.

 

[Karlaxx]

I guess I'll whip out my one and only date story, then.

The girl was absolutely nuts about me and I was meh about her, but being inexperienced I assented to a date because I had been in her position so many times. We ate after school (I was 17, she 16) and then went back to my house and made out in my room for a few hours, which SEEMED like a good idea since I had been in a state of crushing loneliness and depression for a few years at that time. My phone started ringing off the hook, and when I investigated several of my friends and my theater director had called me asking if I knew where this girl was- and it dawned on me that they didn't KNOW she was with me; they were literally calling everyone just to get the word out. The director had stopped the play and mobilized the entire audience to find her, because she was supposed to be there when the play had begun.

You see, she didn't get along with her parents very well, so she took it on herself not only to lie to them, but to create an entire web of lies several layers deep and involving three or four of her friends and fake cover stories to make our tryst happen. I drove her from my house to the school, where her parents were waiting, and her mother started yelling at me as if I was some kind of abductor. Her father joined and told me that I had "failed to be a true gentleman" but nonetheless it was mostly his daughter's fault. (This also happens to segue into my first drinking story, which happened immediately after and because of this event's conclusion, but it's a different yarn entirely and just as tiresome to set up.)

The next day she asked me where we stood via text messaging, and I told her no dice.

 

[Phantom Kat]

snip

This might be out of place, but since you write "another episode" and "this is why I'm single" I take it you mostly meet crazy (and not the fun kind) people. If you only meet crazy people (again not the fun kind) the common denominator is you. This is not supposed to be an attack of any sorts its just the advice I always tell people if they complain about only meeting the "wrong" kind of people.

For some reson you are attracted to the wrong kind of crazy, or vice versa, but for a reason none the less.

OT: Bragging is just a rookie move, and the first couple of facts you wrote about him clearly depict him as a rookie so... no real suprise there. It's a bit like you went out with someone in his early teens.

\

xD You are probably very right. Funny enough right now I am seeing a kind gentleman of whom I'm very interested in. Of course anyone who is attracted to me seems to have some sort of problem. My guess this time is he collects deceased cat heads in his basement. Only time will tell

Can we place bets on what it would be? I'm thinking he's actually an aardvark or a well trained rhubarb crumble.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Another one of my "I went out with a crazy person" stories!

Dis gon be gud.

*reads*

Dis wuz gud.

OT: While I have had a couple of relationships, and I have my share of experience, blah blah blah, until my most recent relationship, I'd only been on one actual date, weirdly enough. Having been on a couple more casually in my most recent relationship, so far they've all been pleasant.

First date I'd been on was quite pleasant. Just a nice trip to the movies (though it was to see Woman In Black, so 'pleasant' may be subjective). My only qualm was that as I do when engrossed in a film, I devoured popcorn at a pace that would make Goku blush, which must have looked a bit dumb.

Other than that, my dates have been small scale things. A drink in a bar, getting slushies from a coffee shop, and going around a couple of those shops with perfume in the air that just sell random odds and ends, mostly of the feminine persuasion.

Fun, right? Well, I feel the need to contribute a freaky-ass story, so for that, I'll tell you how my most recent wonderfully pleasant relationship ended. She broke up with me in order to jump into bed with a close friend of mine, whom she'd only known a few weeks, while I was there.

After that, they had a bit of a tiff, and she tried to put me in the middle of it. When I refused to talk him into talking to her again, she slashed her palm and started threatening suicide.

Fun.

And that's why you don't buy popcorn when you're on a date.
(Except if you want to cut a hole in the bottom to stick your dick through, like a true genlteman does)

As for dates:
I have had a few, albeit all of them were quite pleasant, though the fallout wasn't quite as pleasant.
With my first gf, I had quite a few very nice dates, so hurray for that, though she managed to dump me in the most spectacularly asshole-ish way possible.
So, this year I tried to put myself out there again, and I asked a girl out, who flat-out didn't respond most of the time. AFTER we had already been on 2 "dates", which was quite aggravating, to say the least, but since I am a calm and balanced individual, I simply moved on and did certainly NOT almost break my hand as I punched a hole in a door, no sir.

 

[LetalisK]

Edit: I have a few stories, but I don't want to clog the forum, so I'll spoiler them. Also, I'm fully aware that I'm the common denominator in these stories.

Spoiler

Um...well, whenever I would go on a first date, I would always place a mental bet on how long it would take for the girl to tell me about the horrific sexual abuse and/or rape she'd been through. Not like I'd poke or prod, but somehow I ended up learning every girl's deepest darkest secrets by the end of the first date.

Spoiler

I went on a date with a woman that was in an open marriage. Never got past the first date because the second date, which I cancelled, was going to be all about movies, cuddling, and drinking(ie basically just sex) and it just felt too weird. Which is odd considering the other stories I'm going to tell.

Spoiler

Let's see, one time a girl and I were supposed to meet at a place, let's call it Peter Plaza, because there was a restaurant I wanted to go to. She ended up being fairly late, I called her, and she asked where I was. Peter Plaza. Oh, Peter Plaza? She went to Peter Grove! Which is across town and about 40 minutes away. And for some reason I waited about an hour and a half instead of just leaving. We ate and it was delightful.

We decided to go to the nearby movie theater to watch Paranormal Activity and I just so happened to have a bottle of 99 Apples that I brought in with me. I'm pretty sure the couple next to me left because of the smell. We got merrily drunk and I drove us back to my place 40 minutes away via interstate at 1am. First, last, and only time I've ever driven drunk. Oh, and she was on her period, which was a lovely surprise in the morning when I was sober. >.< She ended up being my friend with benefits for a bit despite that(never got to dating status), so I'm glad I waited. Nice girl.

Spoiler

Oh! Here's probably my most mortifying experience ever. I end up going over to the house of a chick I just barely met(this is our first time hanging out) because she said she wants to cuddle and watch a movie. Right. Anyway, I'm aware she has a 2 year old, but I'm a progressive man and I'm fine with that. It's late so he's probably asleep. As might be expected, it starts to get heated and we start having sex in the living room and she is definitely of the enthusiastic sort. So enthusiastic that it wakes up her kid...who had been sleeping in the play pen in the corner of the living room the entire time and was now looking at us and crying! Oh, it gets worse.

She hears him and immediately starts balling. Is this regret for putting her kid in this awful position? She tells me she just can't have sex. Her kid fucking watching us in the corner is not brought up as the reason. It's because she just had an abortion and is still trying to deal with it. I crawled out my anus and got the fuck out of there.

Spoiler

Here's another one. A girl I had recently met invites me over to watch a movie...and I swear I actually took girls out on first dates more than I participated in this new age "let's just hang out" bullshit. Anyway, we're cuddling and watching it and I have no intentions for sex(in fact as a rule of thumb I never broach the subject on the first date or whatever, it's up to her to do that), but I am a very affectionate man and enjoy showing that affection. She kind of enjoys it, but kinda doesn't, gets uncomfortable and asks me to leave. And I do, no fuss. We talk a few more times and then she invites me out to a nearby restaurant with her gay roommate. We talk and eat and it's fun, then we start heading back.

At this point I'm not really romantically interested in her anymore and I'll be honest, I don't even know why I was there. I start getting texts from another girl that wanted to meet up(we'll call her Sally because she will come up again) that I had never actually met yet but had only texted and talked to over the phone. We get to the original girl's house and she wants me to come in and have sex(she puts it this bluntly too). Because I'm a total puss-bag at that point and just didn't want to say "No thank you", I make up some bullshit about having to bail out my friend and I leave. Though, I should have known something was wrong with Sally when on my way to her work(yes, we were meeting at her work since she worked late), she started sending me dirty pictures of herself that she was taking in the bathroom.

Spoiler

I had one girl freak the fuck out at me big time when she noticed I had a cold sore. We had been dating and I hadn't told her I had the herpes!?(like 80% of the world's population...) How dare I! Well, turns out she freaked out because a little...um, incident she'd suffered through ended up giving her the genital variety of herpes and she didn't want the mouth form of herpes because A) she didn't know she probably has it already and just isn't one of us few unlucky bastards that show it and B) the one type of herpes was bad enough, but who would ever love her if she had the mouth herpes too? Shit you not, those were her words. Funnily enough, she's the girl that taught me how to be a really good kisser.

Spoiler

I once dated a girl that was sexually dead and almost had a dead personality. It wasn't even that she had no libido, it was that she didn't even understand why anyone enjoyed anything sexual with one exception: touching her back drove her sexually crazy, in the good way. Couple that with her muted range of emotions and it's probably a good thing I never had sex with her or rubbed her back.

Spoiler

Okay, before I continue, I should clarify one thing. When I was dating, I made it very clear to the women I dated that I refused to be exclusive with anyone prior to dating them for 3 months. If they wanted to see other people, fine. It's all open disclosure, there was no shady shit going on here.

Anyway, remember Sally from a previous story? Well, later on in the month I end up meeting...let's call her Brittany. Brittany was a meth-addicted nursing student, but also a lot of fun and fuck it, why not? Anyway, Brittany and I go out on a date during the day(this was our third or fourth), lunch I believe, and we end up guiding her big ass SUV into an unused parking garage off of a fairly well traveled street because we were feeling horny. First off, I had my own vehicle, it was at our meet up point, but her vehicle had the GPS for us to find where we were going to have lunch, don't judge me.

Second, I say unused parking garage and not abandoned because there was an active office above it, but there weren't any cars there. Anyway, we have our fun, get back to my car, and I leave...and oh yeah, I forgot Sally and I were going to go meet up with my friend, his wife, and another friend at a sports bar later that evening.

Well, I go to this meet up and we all have a grand ole time and I end up going back to Sally's place(which I've become comfortable with at this point because we've known each other for a little bit now). She wants to have sex. I'm not okay with this. Not because I don't want sex, but because that feels like some sort of boundary I shouldn't cross having had sex with another woman just a few hours earlier. So I end up picking a fight about some stupid bullshit in my drunken state, totally mature, in order to keep the idea of sex from her mind.

I don't know how, but she figured this out...and was only pissed because she wanted to have sex. Mind blown. I ended up actually becoming exclusive with Brittany(yeah, I know, bad choice) and Brittany and Sally actually ended up meeting. And becoming fast friends. Mind blown x2.

Spoiler

Anyway, before Brittany and I were exclusive, Sally met another guy. Okay, cool. I don't remember how it happened, I really wish I remember how I ended up in this position, but it ended up being her, him, and myself hanging out at this bar-ish place. He's a nice enough guy, I didn't have a problem with him, but she went a little cuckoo. She was fawning over both of us almost like she was trying to get us pissed off and jealous at each other and doing very lewd shit to one dude in front of the other. Eventually I had enough and I just looked at her and said I was disappointed in how she acted that evening. Those were literally my words, nothing crass.

She breaks down crying as I head back to my car and is consoled by the other dude, they go on to have a relationship and I actually stay friends with both of them.(Mind blown x3?) Should I be surprised that later on she ended up conning me out of 550 bucks before disappearing? I'm fairly certain she was a compulsive liar considering the colorful past she painted for me(ex boxer, ex cop, ex therapist, admiral's daughter, ex battered spouse yaddayadda).

Spoiler

So, fast forward a bit back to where I'm in the relationship with Brittany. One night she gets super high on pot and meth. Normally, she's a fairly high functioning addict and you can't really tell she's high unless you know her tells. But on this night, middle of the night, she's too high to handle it and was actually very scared. She was on her way home and parks in some gas station, calls me, and waits for me to come get her. I live 40 minutes away, but I come anyway.

The second she gets into my car, I look at her for a moment and then and just bust down and start sobbing. What she was doing to herself just fucking killed me. Her response was some sort of fear, with crying, and absolute horror that she'd essentially brought me to me knees. We stayed up together all night and I ended up just driving her around town, talking, trying to look at all the buildings and skyscrapers through the uncharacteristically dense fog. In the morning she had finally sobered up and I dropped her off at her truck.

Spoiler

Let's see, what else...oh, how about the first and only time I ever got in a fight over a girl? This took place before any of the other stories. Meet a girl through WoW, she went to a local university but was from out of state, so we communicated mostly online. School year starts up again, she comes back, we start dating. We stop dating because during our first sexual encounter, I have issues finishing the job. I just can't, don't know why.

Well, even though it had nothing to do with her, this girl most likely thought it did since she already had horrendous self-image issues(on and off again anorexia too) and decides to not date anymore. We're friends for a little bit, then we both want to get into it again and decide to keep it "casual". Okay. Well, a few days later we go to a free concert at the campus with a group of her friends.

It's good music, everyone's having fun, and then I look over. Some guy is grinding up against her and she's grinding up against him. Right next to me. Now, I know we said we were keeping it casual, but when that seems a bit disrespectful. At the time, I took it as extremely disrespectful and I snapped, grabbed the poor guy's collar and tossed him to the ground screaming at him. Not much of a fight, I know, but it's the only time I'd gotten physical with another dude over a chick. She grabs me and pulls me away, we argue all the way back to my car, I leave, and I never see her again. This is what kind of started my whole "casual" thing I ended up doing and gave it certain boundaries.

 

[evilengine]

Well I've only been out with one girl (there was a second but that date was so pathetic I don't even count it), and in a weird sort of twist it was my lack of bragging that apparently upset her into splitting up with me in the end.

To begin with, everything seemed awesome, we shared many interests, loved one another's company, etc etc. While I am a pretty shy guy, especially around girls, I did put in the extra work to be the good partner. Not good enough it seems. In her eyes I wasn't talking ABOUT her enough with my friends and on Facebook, as far as she was concerned if a guy isn't constantly bragging and boasting about his lady-friend then he obviously doesn't care about her at all, which is exactly the opposite of what I 'thought' I was doing at least. I didn't mention her because I didn't want to be that asshole who won't shut up about his gf and how sexy/funny/cute/amazing/great in bed his gf is, because I'm fairly modest I didn't want to refer to her like a sports car and keep our relationship between ourselves. That's not to say I didn't talk about her, I spoke with my closest friends about her, even joined them at the cinema with her in fact, introduced one another, etc.

So yeah, not treating your S.O. like an object that you boast about is a bad thing it seems.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I've never been on such a date that I'm aware of. I personally have broad interests and, as such, can do better than many people at many things but I'm not great at any particular thing.

My own personal take on the subject though is that on a date, you should legitimately be interested in the other person. There really is no loss to such a policy: people love to talk about themselves and little prodding is necessary to get the average person to open up and actually reveal who they are. Not only does this ingratiate you to them (because the only thing people love more than talking about themselves is having someone interested in hearing about it), it also helps you to quickly determine if the relationship is worth pursuing.

 

[TallanKhan]

And all of a sudden when I look back at my last date, who informed me casually at the end of the evening that she just happened to be married, I feel like perhaps I got off easy.