Aprilgold said:
I can't count how many times that is wrong with me, mainly because I see women as a rose bush, their nice and pretty, romantic, sometimes even flutter in the wind, but try and grab them and you get your hand cut up. Very rarely will you find one that is nicer then the rest and will let itself into your grasp.
Overall, as you can tell, I really don't think their delicate, many times they backstab both friends, family, and many others over petty things, then get away Scot free.
You know what your problem is?
You think women are a "They."
That they're somehow
different than you.
Women just have a hole where your hanger is, and all the other differences come down to social differences. You know, the same sorts of things that makes you, as an individual, different from the person your great great grandfather was.
Your bad relationship experience isn't that women are all cold and heartless but attractive
things that hate you.
Unless you're being forced into marriage or something, bad relationships are because of
your problems.
If you've been in a shitty relationship in the past, then fine. Acknowledge what you did to get yourself into this mess, realise that the cruelties of your partner are
specific to that individual woman, and we'd be happy to help.
I mean, if its
really extreme, like people who seem so damn perfect and manipulate their partner into a position of vulnerability, (like with child custody or citizenship status) sometimes it isn't really the individual's fault. Even then, though, I expect the victim to not then proceed to proclaim that
all people of the opposite sex are manipulative, abusive people.
But you are insisting that, because of my sex, I am a selfish, unkind person who will backstab someone given the chance just because I am female.
You are insulting me. You are insulting all women, and then you're using negative reactions to prove your point to yourself.
You have a problem here, and you need to accept that its
your issue, not half the human race's.
Icehearted said:
I was speaking with a woman about the impressions each sex has of the other, referring to a conversation I overheard where three women were talking about the coffee shop where they worked at, and being afraid to close up after dark. I live in a fairly innocuous neighborhood, but grew up in a violent city, so I was conflicted. Basically, the conversation was three women deciding that pretty much all men were out to rape them at any given moment, and being women, they were under constant threat by men, and they were helpless in the likely event they would be raped.
To my companion, I suggested that the perception that all men are rape-monsters with potentially lethal amounts of lust boiling inside us all was silly, offensive, and unfair. She agreed, but said it was a societally formed discrimination. For a man to approach a woman in a place that is not designated for doing so (such places being parties, nightclubs, etc) he is going to be perceived as a threat. A woman walking alone at night will do her best to avoid men. She admitted it was totally sexist, and offered nothing more as far as to how this perception could be averted.
Therein lies the point. This is sexism, this is discrimination, and it's tolerated by too many people. There isn't much men can do, we've been openly emasculated in most forms of media for decades, and this will likely never end because too many people are either totally for it or just plain apathetic.
Used to be people understood what flirting was, these days it seems everything is considered flirting, and it's up to men to figure out when they mean it or they do not. She smiles at you, she's not flirting, she just smiled at you, or maybe she's flirting? How would we know? What are we to do? How can we even say hello without getting maced for secretly being rape-monsters?
Rhetorical questions, there are no answers.
I know too many people who were raped and molested, and even a couple people who were brutally raped and subsequently murdered in very traumatic ways to not have an acute fear on the matter of sexual assault.
And all of these acts were committed by men. And yes, women perpetrate such actions, too, but that's typically more towards their own opposite sex.
Considering my age, statistics, and the kind of people I catch staring at my ass, if I get sexually assaulted, its probably going to be at the hands of a man.
No, this does not mean that all men are rapists, and yes, danger can come from women, too, but it does bother me a bit when someone is insulted that I'm not going to strike up a casual conversation with some stranger on the street at night.
Edit:
I shouldn't leave this comment like this, because he isn't implying that being afraid of rape is wrong, its the reaction to it.
And yes, it
is discrimination to treat every man like a potential rapist, but of all the discrimination out there these days, this, sadly, is one of the most rational ones out there. I'm sorry, I don't want to go making pointless accusations, and I'm not going to judge a person's character based on statistics. But with all the dangers of the world, people are one of the most complex ones to address.
But while I'm at it, I'm wary of
everyone, as most people have reason to be. Its just that rape is a particularly scary reason for being wary, and many people don't know how to be tactful in their suspicions and not go about
saying that everyone's potential sex offenders.
And that last part about conversations with strangers at night, that refers to an uncomfortable situation that happened last week at 2:30 AM ish while I was outside a building waiting for a ride that was late, and not an implication of the poster's intentions.
