Dead Man Impregnates Woman

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rancher of monsters

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Oct 31, 2010
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Read the fully story here

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=524

Is it messed up of me to want something like that to happen to me when I die? Not for any sexual thrill (I'd be dead afterall), but my friends would never stop telling that story and their children would tell the story and so on, and so on, until I was legendary. I'd be like the Hercules of post mortem rape.

Edit: It's not trolling if I didn't realize it was fake at the moment I posted it :)
 

IxionIndustries

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Mar 18, 2009
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Clearly this is the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Huh. And here I was thinking they'd be the mutant kind. Oh well.
 

David Fronk

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Jun 7, 2010
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"In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man?s estate for child support."

I burst out laughing after reading that. Otherwise I am at a complete loss for words.
 

Jazzyjazz2323

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Jan 19, 2010
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Wha...wha...wha???What type of sick twisted ***** does this and expects FUCKING CHILD SUPPORT??THA FUCK?
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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That is strange, amazing and completely fucked up. That woman needs to be jailed, having sex with a dead man... wow that is just sad.

And she wants child suppourt? Really? Wake up! You just had sex with a dead man which is very lowly and disrespectful!
 

Atmos Duality

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Mar 3, 2010
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Further proof of the exceedingly low standards/requirements for breeding.
Darwin would have a shit-fit if he heard about this.
 

Willis_D

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May 27, 2009
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...... sorry, what?

[sub]I think that properly displays my utter confusion at this fucked up story[/sub]
 

Strain42

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Mar 2, 2009
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...What's the appropriate age to tell the kid the truth?

"Mom, what was dad like?"
"Oh he was cold...bit of a stiff..."
"When did he die again?"
"About 10 months before you were born"
 

NeedAUserName

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Aug 7, 2008
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Leaving the obvious elephant in the room alone for a moment, if she raped him, how can she demand child support after...?

Now, on the the elephant, waaaah? The hell is wrong with this women (apart from the obvious answer of necrophilia)?! Also, I'm am very interested in how this child will turn out, surely it should be at least mildly affected by having a dead parent, preconception.
 

mexicola

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Feb 10, 2010
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Now, now, people you need to keep an open mind. Necrophilia is a beautiful and honest t- I can't finish this sentence. WHAT THE FUCK? She is even suing them now!? Shouldn't she be too ashamed to even exist at this point?
 

TheSEPH88

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Oct 21, 2010
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What the...
This is beyond on what I can put properly in words.

Edit: feeling stupid for taking satire seriously. XD
 

Zedar0

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Aug 12, 2009
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It's a satirical news site, not unlike the Onion. You can keep your faith in humanity, for now.
 

Strain42

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Mar 2, 2009
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How does she even come to that thought process? She's working, dead guy gets a certain stiffness, groovy, it happens, science, woah.

But how was that her first reaction? I would think ignore it or dress it up in a tiny tuxedo would be reactions a normal person would have before...well...riding it.
 

xmbts

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May 30, 2010
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Awful, just awful.

I don't even know where to start.