Dealing with guilt.

[TheLoneBeet]

I know this is a pretty piss-poor thing to feel guilty about, but I recently sent food back and refused to pay for it at a restaurant. Working as a cook myself I jokingly announced "I've become everything I hate." to my friends, but I seriously feel bad about it. It was a burnt steak, so I know that it was the right choice (There was no way I was eating it, or paying $20 for it)

Just wondering how my fellow Escapists deal with guilt in their lives. Obviously your examples will be of more merit than mine if you choose to include one.

EDIT: Also, this is my first topic. =)

 

[ultrachicken]

Do something to fix it. Go back to the restaurant some time and leave a big tip.

I deal with guilt either by sucking it up (less pleasant), or by doing something to make it up to the one I wronged.

 

[Ando85]

I don't think you should feel guilty about it at all. They goofed. Think about it as a cook now, if you burnt a steak would you feel bad if someone sent it back? Also, how did you react? Were you angry about it or polite? I could see a bit of guilt if you acted angry and hostile about it but otherwise I don't think you should worry about it.

 

[SilentCom]

Chances are they are the ones feeling guilty and embarrassed having served burnt steak to a customer.

 

[Mechanix]

I like to call this reverse embarrassment, happens to me sometimes. You probably feel bad because you know the cook or restaurant feels bad because of you. Just remember they kind of deserve it. You are the one who came out on top in the situation, if coming out on top really applies to this.

 

[Skorpyo]

Why feel guilty?

By sending back a sub-par meal, you've forced the cook to prepare a better meal to replace it. This will cause the cook to be more careful in future, possibly preventing another (less graceful) customer from making a major complaint, or preventing an under-cooked meal from potentially causing another customer physical harm in varying degrees of possibility.

Congrats! You've actually contributed to the experience of another human being, possibly saving his livelihood as a cook.

 

[William Keller]

Do something to fix it. Go back to the restaurant some time and leave a big tip.

I deal with guilt either by sucking it up (less pleasant), or by doing something to make it up to the one I wronged.

Exactly. If you really can't stand the felling, it's no use to try and repress it. Go to the restaurant and apologize (although it will look odd, since it's not your fault) for your somewhat stressed behaviour the other day. Try to fix things up a bit.

I like to call this reverse embarrassment, happens to me sometimes. You probably feel bad because you know the cook or restaurant feels bad because of you. Just remember they kind of deserve it. You are the one who came out on top in the situation, if coming out on top really applies to this.

Indeed. Totally agree to this one. You are thinking of the cook as a fellow human being whom you hurt, and not as a business manager who (probably) has enough money to build another restaurant. Try to see things both ways (REMEMBER: You should try this in reverse situations as well; when you think it's the other one's fault, try to see it from their perspective).

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Put simply, shit happens. No matter if your a 8 year old in the kitchen or Jamie Oliver (MUST BE HEALTHY) you're bound to burn or mess up. As long as you weren't an ass about it by yelling at them or giving them a immense guilt trip, you shouldn't be feeling guilty.

 

[holy_secret]

I single-handedly ruined someone's life. I've tried to redeem myself but the nightmares I have are the only remnants of that time.