Dearest Santa,
I hope you are well.
I sincerely hope that you can give me a well paying steady job nearby, or at least easily accessible so that I can bring in some money for my boyfriend, who was so kind as to take me in when everyone else had turned their backs on me. But this situation has taken its toll on him, and I want to make his life as easy going and great as possible. One such way for me to do this would be a job, so that the financial burden won't be so great on him.
If not that, please at least give him something that he wants/needs, even though he is a Jew and thus falls under Hanukkah Harry's jurisdiction. But he's a good man, so he deserves a nice little something.
I hope that the missus, the elves, and reindeer are also well.
Sincerely,
- Soren Alenko
P.S. - There's also a certain Irish lad that has an ear problem that I'm sure that he wishes would go away. It would be swell if he was able to be relieved of that burden. He's a nice fellow that doesn't deserve this. If you need any incentive to do this, just stick him by a bunch of semi tall buildings with some bright lights, he'll go bonkers at the sight. It's well worth watching and quite entertaining.
