The relentless spring sun beat down on their backs as TJ and the others made their way down the street. It was unnaturally hot for May, and they were all feeling it. If they were sweating, however, it was not entirely due to the weather. During afternoon Recess, King Bob had had them brought before his throne to announce a tournament; a game of kickball for full control of the Four Square areas, and the tetherball poles.
The reason was that Lawson's gang had been overrunning these areas, and finally, TJ and Vince had snapped. They had brought a formal complaint before Bob three days previously, and the King of the Playground had told them to leave him to mull it over.
Under ordinary circumstances, they were confident they could beat the Fifth Graders, but Spinelli wasn't with them. She had fallen from the top of a climbing rope in gym class and broken her ankle. As they made their way to where Gus and TJ would split off from the others, they stopped by the crossroads to continue conversation.
'This sucks, guys. Without Spinelli, those guys'll whoop us!' groaned Gus.
'It whomps!' bellowed TJ, aiming a kick at a nearby lamppost. As he massaged his foot against the pain, an inter-city bus came to a halt beside them, disgorging a single passenger; a sharply dressed teenager, with fair hair and a bowler hat under one arm. They ignored him as he bent to tie his shoe.
'It does seem a little biased that King Bob would hold the game right when Spinelli can't play for us,' said Gretchen, pushing her glasses up her nose, calmly.
'What's biased mean?' piped up Gus, but Vince overrode him. 'What we need is a way to even the odds!'
'What? Like another player?' Gretchen replied, introspectively.
TJ nodded. 'Yeah, or a way to bring 'em down a peg!'
Vince shrugged. 'Yeah, but I'm not sure we can do anything on short notice like this. Nothing that has a chance of working, anyway?'
Mikey cut in at this point, 'guys, honestly we might as well wait and face the music. Go bravely to our fate, honourably.'
'You read too much poetry,' TJ shot back. 'Whatever. See you guys tomorrow.'
A couple of hours later, TJ was playing video games after his dinner, with that day's calculus homework safely deposited in his wastepaper bin. He was just about to beat the high score Vince had set on his game when there was a rapping on his door. Pausing, he got to his feet, and opened it. His mother stood there, with a bemused look on her face. "Theodore, there's a rather polite young British man here to see you.'
Immediately, TJ was swept away by visions of finally being recruited into some sort of government agency to train as a spy. 'Tender. Send him up, mom!'
He was quite taken aback when, a moment later, the same guy from the bus stop stepped into his room. Striding past TJ, the boy sat demurely down on the end of his bed.
'So? uh? who are you?' asked TJ, scratching his head, baffled.
'Oh nobody important, me good droog. But as a matter o'fact, me name's Alex.'
'Uh? what did you? ah, who cares? what do you want, Alex?'
'Ah, I couldn't help overhear the conversation you and those other ragamuffins were having at the bus stop there. Seems like you're in a spot of trouble!'
'Aw yeah. Spinelli's hurt, so she can't play, and we're gonna lose control of half the playground! Lawson and his buddies are going to ruin Recess for everyone!'
'Must be a right good bint if she makes all the difference!'
'I? what?'
'No matter, I'm here to assist you and your droogs!'
'Uh? what, like you wanna play Kickball?'
'Oh, no, I'm more interested in helping you with? the other solution to your problem, mate!'
So this strange English guy wanted to help TJ pull a prank on Lawson? Strange. 'But why?' he asked, utterly lost.
'Ah, I'm a bit bored, me, and this sounds like a bit of a guff. So, would you and your compatriots like my help, or not?'
TJ hesitated, but then replied, 'ah sure. Things can't get much worse.'
'Oh, how wrong you are!' Alex replied, a warped expression flitting across his features; somewhere between a smile and a grimace. Then he was leaving, bowing his way out of the door.
When Alex got back out into the street outside of TJ's house, he made a beeline for the nearest phone booth. Slotting in the quarter he'd snatched from the boy's bedside, he dialled the motel six where his droogs were staying. He had plenty of cutter, but it was always good to nick a bit. If the brat realized, he could consider it Alex's fee. The ringing stopped. Georgie picked up. 'Aye?'
'Georgie, it's me!'
'Ah, boss. How's things?'
'Fan-fucking-tastic. Found us a bit of fun!'
'Oh? Tell me then.'
'Just be outside Third Street school tomorrow afternoon, my friend.'
The next day at Third Street, the Recess gang were lounging by the school's outer wall. Vince was bouncing a baseball off of a wall and catching it on the rebound, with impatience. 'The game's in half an hour, Teej. Where the heck is this guy?'
'I don't know. I kinda hope he shows but at the same time? I don't know?'
At that moment, almost like their discussion had summoned him, Alex hoisted himself over the wall with such energy he practically flew over. He was now wearing the bowler hat and TJ noticed one of his eyes had mascara applied.
'Alright, lads, walk with me, talk with me. Where's the headmaster's office?'
'The what?'
'The uh? principle.'
'Oh,' Vince replied. 'See that window there? That's it.'
'Ah, very good? very good,' replied Alex, jovially; ignoring the confused and worried glances everyone was giving him. As they walked, Alex stretched a hand into the air and swept it twice towards the window Vince had pointed out.
'What are you doing?' asked Gus.
'Ah, just stretching, mate, just stretching. Mind showing us around while we wait?'
'You and who else?'
'Hmm?'
'You said "us".'
For a brief moment, Alex's eyes narrowed. Then he smiled, squeezing Gus' shoulder, and said quite cheerily, 'don't be smart with me, lad.'
Gus gave a squeak, and TJ noticed as they walked Alex towards the jungle gym that Gus was rubbing his shoulder.
They made the tour quick, but even so, it consumed twenty minutes out of the half an hour. They showed him King Bob's throne, the wall separating them from the Kindergarteners, and various other things. It took them an age to prize Alex away from the disarmed cannon that they mostly ignored throughout their time.
After all of this, they were getting quite impatient. Eventually, TJ asked, 'so are you gonna tell us what your plan is?'
'Just wait, young droog, just wait.'
'Seriously, what does that even?' but TJ was interrupted by the intercom crackling into life. Principle Prickly's voice echoed across the playground, and TJ noticed it was wavering. "Can? can students Earwin Lawson and Chucko Kowalski report to the Principle's office immediately? That will? that will be all!'
There was a murmuring across the blacktop as Lawson and Chucko could be seen peeling away from their group and slinking sullenly towards the main building. Gretchen ran a hand through her hair, thoughtfully. 'Is it just me, or did he sound a bit? distressed?'
'Ah, old Prickly's always a little Prickly!' replied TJ, grinning. 'Nice work, Alex. Whatever you did, those guys are gonna be in for it now!'
'Oh, that they will young Theodore, that they will.'
Pete took his thumb off of the intercom's button, and Georgie took the butcher's knife from Prickly's throat. Georgie grinned at him. 'Very nice job, Prick-face. Very nice job!' The Principal was a mess. His right eye was swollen and going dark. A tuft of hair had been yanked out when Dim had grabbed him and thrown him against the wall. His foot had been broken, and Georgie had jammed his index finger as hard as he could into the electric sharpener, nearly getting it past the first joint before meat and blood jammed the mechanism. On top of that, he and Dim had played noughts and crosses on his back using the knife. Georgie had won, best two out of three.
'I've done what you asked! Please, just don't hurt me, and leave the kids outta this!' Prickly cried, his shoulders shaking impotently as he struggled against the duct tape binding him to his chair. Georgie was about to respond when Prickly's secretary's voice came through the intercom. 'Those kids are here to see you.'
The knife back at Prickly's throat, Pete thumbed the button. Prickly gulped and replied, 'send them in, Miss Lemon.'
Georgie nodded, and Dim stood by the door, hefting the meter stick he'd grabbed from a store room on their way to the Principal's office. Pete and Georgie crouched behind the desk and several seconds later, the door opened. Chucko was first through and Dim's swipe caught him on the back of the head. He fell limply to the ground as Lawson opened his mouth to scream, but was cut off as the meter stick caught him in the throat. Then Dim's hand took the front of his shirt and yanked him through the door, which was slammed shut, and locked with the key from Prickly's desk.
Georgie stood up with Pete and passed him a pair of handcuffs. 'Cuff sleeping beauty over there to the radiator.'
Dim hefted Lawson, who whimpered. 'What about this twat?'
'Throw him on the desk,' Georgie grinned as he began to unbuckle the belt of his pants.
King Bob reclined on the throne hefted by his cronies, scowling as he checked his watch. 'Ten minutes, they're a no show.'
Buster piped up, 'but? your Majesty, they'll be here!'
'Silence! Do not second guess your king! If I say they're not coming, they're not coming, and you're short players as well as absent a Captain. By my decree, your game is forfeit.' He turned to TJ and the others. 'Detweiler, you win. Congratulations. Control rights to the Four Square areas, and tetherball poles are yours. In second priority to my own, of course.'
TJ bowed. 'Thanks, King Bob.' Straightening up, he turned to Alex as they walked away. 'Nice one, man. You really came through.'
'Oh, I did, didn't I?' he replied, grinning gleefully. 'Well, young Theodore, I shall take my leave.'
'All right. See you around, I guess.'
'Oh, you'll be seeing me very soon, TJ. I really should meet this Spinelli girl. She sounds? enigmatic.'
With that, he turned and walked down the path to the gate, turned right, and headed towards the bus stop, pausing as three other teenagers joined him. Just before they vanished from sight, he turned to TJ just as Miss Finster burst through the double doors out of the school, and shouted, loud enough to carry well across the playground. 'Excellent working with you, Mr Detweiler. That was an excellent plan of yours, and it worked perfectly!'
Then he was gone. TJ gave the others a puzzled look, and then broke into a grin. 'Yeah,' he announced loudly. 'My plan went off without a hitch!'
At just that moment, sirens cut through the air, as several squad cars barrelled into the school's parking lot.
.
