depression and feeling depressed

[Strid]

I've been feeling depressed and sorta suicidal the last few months, not because of school work and assignments (although they do put me under a lot of pressure and anxiety), but mostly the reason I'm feeling this way is because I'm stuck thinking about the inanity of life and the whole thought of living just to work and die. I don't really see myself living a 9 to 5 job like other people, and I have seriously considered going bohemian but I doubt it'll come to that.

This is probably just some phase I'm going through so I'm hoping I'll get over it eventually...

 

[jultub]

I'm pretty depressed atm too, but I can't help you out of it. Currently I'm trying to figure out where I wanna be in a few years, figure out what it takes to get there, and then do it. I'm hoping goals and structure can fight it back

 

[Frybird]

Yep I've been depressed for awhile. I lack confidence in myself and suffer serious anxiety's that prevent me from accomplishing my goals in life.

Same here, about two years now. You can add loneliness and sort-of-aimlessness for me.
At least i had a few bright spots in between, great times with friends and such, but i seem to keep losing track of most of them recently.
It's really starting to drag me down severely, but since I'm done with job training soon and (hopefully) will start at a new workplace and finally move out of my parent's home, i hope that this will help me to sort things out and maybe find people and things worth living for.

 

[thom_cat_]

Well I'm having relationship issues with my girlfriend.
She's a massive introvert, and needs her space, I give her a damn lot.
And then it turns out for the past week she has been thinking I still haven't been giving her enough? I explicitly asked her to tell me early if she wanted me to keep away.

And now I'm being told I've been pissing her off for the past week!?
TALK TO ME!!!!!!
I attempt to talk to her, but she doesn't like to talk...
She tells me she needs more space and she likes me still.

And now today rolls round, the one day of the week I'm pretty much guaranteed to receive attention... she doesn't look me in the eye, and doesn't respond to my stimulus XD
http://fluffles.bigbighuge.com/
So yeah, WEEEEEEEEEE ISSUES!!!!
Time to make another blog post...

 

[Sark]

I have been depressed. For quite a while, mainly due to family complications and expectations. Depression is, for me, the level when every action seems too much effort. It seems futile to go on with everyday life.
Luckily, nobody can stay sad forever. There is no real cure, but try and do the things you enjoy to set yourself back into a rhythm.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I was horribly depressed last year, like really bad. It made me drop out of college even.

I fear that it's rearing it's head again now. All my dreams shattered, my hope's gone. I'm aimless and alone. There is someone, but I can't be with her, that makes it even worse.

I'm having an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow because I don't think I'll last long like this.

 

[NotAPie]

Oh hell yeah I'm sure everyone has.
I'm still getting over my girlfriend, I've taken advice from Bonsaik and well I'm slowly getting over her.
Slowly because she calls me and tells me "Oh [myname]! I miss you so much and I can't find anyone as good as you! *flirts for half an hour*"
I tell her "Well...do you wanna try again?"
She tells me "Oh...it wouldn't be right."
>_> *hangs up*
I'm gonna change my number soon.

 

[BlackKraken]

I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and have hopped from therapist to therapist over the years, so, yeah, doesnt always go away.

But for "normal" people its just a temporary slump and will go away eventually (you lucky bastards ).
Its admirable that other people can talk about it on this topic, quite surprising really, I cant go into any details but hope you feel better soon.

 

[Lucifron]

My girlfriend of close to a year moved home forever this morning. Trouble is that she lives in Thailand, I live in the US. That's pretty depressing, right? Taking her to the airport was....not fun.

I feel you. I'm almost a year past high school graduation, and my life currently isn't shitting gold and rainbows either. I have a girlfriend which, during the right circumstances, I could probably do the whole settle-down-marry-and-procreate business with. Thing is, the fall of next year, I'm moving from Sweden to the States. I can't love her as much as I want to, because the more I do the more it will fuck with me when I move away. Aside from that, I feel adrift after finishing high school and my mind feels dull, but I'm hard pressed to do something about it. A close relative offed herself a couple of years back and I never properly mourned her passing. That, and a bunch of other shit I don't even want to get into. The other stuff wouldn't be so bad on it's own, but everything piled together...

It really is the girlfriend that brings me the most pain, and probably the most joy. I enjoy her company, and I love her in every way, but all the demands and worries and anxiety about me moving (which is a constant pink elephant when we're together) and lost love and her wanting to get serious while I in my privacy consider it futile is fucking wearing me down. I should probably end it before it gets worse, and I have come close to doing so a few times, but the anxiety when standing on that edge is like staring into a darkness so abyssal that casting myself into it would be akin to... I don't even know what. /emo /wrists

Isn't love a wonderful thing?

OT: So, yeah. It seems that you aren't alone. My shit's been going on for almost a year.

Edit: Previous bouts of not feeling so awesome have been solved through time, friends and family. Excessive drinking during festivals is nice too.

 

[Iron Criterion]

I seem to have a system going on. I'll begin the year on a high, filled with hope and prospects. I'll meet a girl that I consider to be the "one", and it'll go well for most of the year but in the last quarter I guarantee I'll be alone and attempting suicide.

This has happened pretty much every year since 2004. So yeah...

 

[captain wow]

I've been suffering from depression for a long, long time. It varies in intensity but it's always there. I've had a couple of very bad stretches that lasted for a couple years at a time. It's not as bad these days as I've managed to eliminate or change/improve a lot of the things in my life that fuelled the bad feelings. I quit the college course that I hated, left my old job where I was exploited and treated like shit and managed to extricate myself from a couple of destructive "friendships". I quit smoking weed and rarely drink any more mainly because my hangovers started making me apocalyptically depressed and angry.
I've managed to improve my situation a lot in the past 2 years and it has helped immeasurably but I've still got a long way to go.

My main problems at the moment are self esteem issues and social isolation/awkwardness. Unfortunately, in Ireland not drinking and going to the pub almost makes you a social pariah so finding and non alcohol centred social activity that I'm interested in is a difficult task.

I know what will help me, but knowing and doing are different.

isn't that the truth.

it's hard to get motivated when you're depressed/anxious.

It's so damn true.

Anyway they're some of my experiences. I'd be interested to see how working bad jobs and leaving those jobs affected other escapists.

 

[Duskwaith]

Depressed here. You meet that one girl who is just so perfect for you and turns out shes miles away.

I just go out for a walk or write letters but never post them

 

[Daipire]

I know people who think I'm depressed cause my only passion is for video games, money and girls, (mostly video games) everything else is 'meh'.

 

[SextusMaximus]

I'm not depressed, but I'm not happy. As a human being, I just am. Friend's make me happy, expecially just talking to my girlfriend. But other than that I just am, I barely feel anything...

 

[Flames66]

Apparently I'm prone to depression, it runs in the family. I seem to have mostly avoided it so far.

 

[Popadomus Ohio]

i have had, what i think is depression, though it might be pretention, for about the last 3 years. several things have occured over the last 3 years that have basically turned me from a happy person into a misanthropic outcast. if it continues to bother you, try and find a therapy group to try and help oyu, or you'll and up like me, convinced you're a failure and nothing will ever go right for you.

 

[Kurokami]

i have been depressed recently. like strangely often during the last 2 weeks or so. its basically caused by shit i wont go into right now, the jist being that i have never had a true functioning social life.

but anyway, i was wondering, escapists, have you felt depressed for a strangely long time? if so, why? and how did you get over it?

For a girl or because of my own social anxieties.

Don't get me wrong, I have friends and when I'm around them they seem happy enough, but I always consider myself a hinderence, the moment I'm no longer with them I hesitate, if ever, to make contact because I'm afraid of being unwanted and I tend to read alot into messages and even body language, of course this is a huge problem with making new friends as well as I tend to keep my distance and don't really like starting a chat as I'd hate rejection, particularly since most people already know others and are happy to stick to their own groups.

The most troubling part for me is that when I'm around people I always act pretty happy, which means that no one really knows what goes on inside my head and that gets me wondering, are people friends with me or simply my persona?

Anyway that's about it, I've currently got a friend who I talk to all that stuff about who's great, but at the same time I'll still always read too much into anything she says etc.

So... why not get more specific with your issues?

 

[Marter]

I've been depressed at different points in my life, usually because of events that have happened in it. I've been pretty happy as of late though. Although, nobody really seems to notice...

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Oh aye, friends can be the best safety net, thank god for them. My relationship has always been long distance though, so for you it'll be different going from a year together to that.
Mine's not as far as yours but still a hell of a mission for an 18 year old to make. Scotland, so from here it's about 420 miles, slightly more I think.

Wow, that's not close.

Yea, we've pretty much been living together for the past couple months. So it's going to be different but I'll live. As a man, I enjoy my freedom and being alone, but damn, I probably won't be able to see her for 6+ months. It's a 26 hour flight, lol. But if we decide to stay together, one good thing is that I know I can trust this girl.

Best of luck with your relationship and everything.

Aye, but, we're both fiercely determined to make it work.
Ah man, that's rough. I feel for you.
The months will fly by though, I promise you that. Keep constant contact going and you'll be fine. Facebook, instant messengers, texting all through the day, it keeps me going. It can be interesting, long distance. You feel the freedom of a single life yet the love of a relationship, and the wonderful internal effects of knowing you have someone. It's really quite nice.

Thank you, I have faith you two will fly through it