Depression: Describing it and anyone here ever have it?

[Quiet Stranger]

I know this is a serious topic so I'm gonna try to sound not too...I can't think of the word.

Anyways, I'm doing a research paper on depression and right now (In my research draft for the paper) I'm trying to describe depression itself. I'm not that great when it comes to describing something so I was wondering if anyone here knows a lot about depression or has had it (I have had it but it's been so long) It'd really help me and I can't get any help from anyone I know right now.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

My mother gets it really bad and I probably have a mild case of it. But you're right, it is very hard to explain to people who don't get it.

For my mother she just has crippling self doubts, where she thinks everyone thinks she is hopeless, she believes that she can't do anything right and she is just constantly worried. I know when she's having a bout of depression because she never looks me in the eyes and always looks down when talking and says things like "I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother (which she's never been). You must be ashamed of me." All she'll do is skulk around the house all day and is too afraid to do anything. It's a horrible thing to watch and it's incredibly hard on my dad because there's not much he can do to help her. After a few months it seems to go away.

For me, it's just more a lack of interest in things that I really enjoy; playing bass, writing stories, having sex, etc. Nothing seems to lift me up and I'm just in a constant state of "blah". I can still function, i.e. go to work, look after the kids, go shopping, etc; but if someone asks me to go out somewhere and socialise I tend to decline them. I just mainly hang around the house.

 

[SlaveNumber23]

I can't be sure but I think that I have some form of depression. I find it extremely hard to be interested in or motivate myself to do anything and it has a pretty negative affect on my ability to achieve academically. I've been able to breeze through high school despite putting very little effort in and get into my desired course at University but now I'm at University I'm really dragging myself down and will probably have to repeat at least one subject I've done this semester.

The only thing that can invoke any real passion in me are video games, everything else I seem to lose interest in easily even if I am enjoying it a lot. I don't have many friends and I don't spend all that much time with the ones I have but it doesn't seem to bother me much. I enjoy spending time with people but it doesn't take too long for me to become somewhat irritated with them and long to be alone again.

The worst part is that I never actually feel depressed, something bad happens to me and I hardly feel anything, I just don't care.

 

[Anget Colslaw]

I'd bet I have a form of it. I just find it hard to motivate myself to do much.

The few bad things have happened to me do suck but I know someone else has had it worse so whatever. If anything, I kinda blame my optimism when I was younger being destroyed by reality. Optimists take falls the hardest.

on the bright side, I'm getting used to solitude and started being more of a cynic who can be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Vault101]

is it me...or do more people suffer from depression thease days?
anyway

it seems to be a thing in the family..Ive had cousins who've had it...one even attempting suicide

me thankfully no...my life is go great the worst thing to happen was the ending of ME3

 

[TehCookie]

That your life is so terrible black hole with no future and everyone you come in contact with is now unhappy because they had to deal with you so it would be better if everyone was dead (with you helping them on their way).

Or at least according to my mom, I'm not depressed.

A not as serious version would simply be exhausted and tired all the time but unable to sleep and a change in diet (eating too much, not eating at all).

 

[Frission]

Depression was more self-loathing for me. The world wasn't what sucked. I was. I had no real self worth and I was in a cycle of feeling jealous and then hating myself for it.

That was just my run and I was a teenager though. Just doing something which made me appreciate life more was enough for me so it might not have been real depression.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

I can't be sure but I think that I have some form of depression. I find it extremely hard to be interested in or motivate myself to do anything and it has a pretty negative affect on my ability to achieve academically. I've been able to breeze through high school despite putting very little effort in and get into my desired course at University but now I'm at University I'm really dragging myself down and will probably have to repeat at least one subject I've done this semester.

The only thing that can invoke any real passion in me are video games, everything else I seem to lose interest in easily even if I am enjoying it a lot. I don't have many friends and I don't spend all that much time with the ones I have but it doesn't seem to bother me much. I enjoy spending time with people but it doesn't take too long for me to become somewhat irritated with them and long to be alone again.

The worst part is that I never actually feel depressed, something bad happens to me and I hardly feel anything, I just don't care.

According to my doctor you'd be classed as having a mild form of depression. I know, because I feel very similar to you and felt the same way during my school years (which were a long time ago).

 

[SomeLameStuff]

is it me...or do more people suffer from depression thease days?

Well ever since it became recognised as an actual illness, more people have been coming out claiming they have it. I say "claiming" because I know a few people who have taken advantage of it to get special treatment from other people.

Also the way society is right now, extremely nice place for cultivating mental disorders.

OT: Yes I have had it. Mine also manifested as Multiple Personality Disorder... yeah, hard times all around. I have scars from where I had to hurt myself to regain control.

I'm actually not sure if my depression resulted in MPD, or if it resulted in depression.

 

[SlaveNumber23]

According to my doctor you'd be classed as having a mild form of depression. I know, because I feel very similar to you and felt the same way during my school years (which were a long time ago).

Yeah I finished high school last year, didn't bring any lasting friends out of it really. I was friendly with a lot of people but sort of trapped in limbo between multiple friendship circles and nothing really stuck. Got any tips? I'm considering seeing a psychiatrist, I can't really afford to let it affect my University results any more.

 

[axlryder]

Depression can be categorized various ways, and has varying degrees of severity. There's simply being depressed or having mild depression, usually caused by some environmental factor or mild chemical imbalance and resulting in feelings of sadness or apathy. It can result in decreased motivation and a generally negative disposition, which will likely be reflected in the person's thought process, e.g., "no one likes me", "nothing I do matters", "life is meaningless anyway", etc. Inability to take joy in things one normally does is typical. Cognitive processes may be impaired, which may be described as "brain fog". Feelings of physical weakness can occur, along with general fatigue, despite not actually being physically tired (though oversleeping is common). Mild pains or aches without cause or general feelings of illness also occur (similar in nature to fibromyalgia). Visually the person may appear despondent. A large percentage of people will experience this form of depression at some point in their lives.

Clinical depression or MDD (major depressive disorder) is a more severe form of depression. It is usually chronic, and may be caused by serious chemical and/or severe/long term environmental factors. It's just like the above, but to the extreme. This can result in the person being suicidal, or not being motivated enough to even perform basic tasks like getting out of bed to eat or even go to the bathroom. It often accompanies other mental disorders, resulting in compounded symptoms.

I'd say that's the gist of it.

 

[axlryder]

is it me...or do more people suffer from depression thease days?

Well ever since it became recognised as an actual illness, more people have been coming out claiming they have it. I say "claiming" because I know a few people who have taken advantage of it to get special treatment from other people.

Also the way society is right now, extremely nice place for cultivating mental disorders.

OT: Yes I have had it. Mine also manifested as Multiple Personality Disorder... yeah, hard times all around. I have scars from where I had to hurt myself to regain control.

I'm actually not sure if my depression resulted in MPD, or if it resulted in depression.

I've never really heard of MPD resulting from depression. Not to say it doesn't happen, but as far as I know MPD usually results from (typically childhood) trauma/extreme stress and genetic predisposition. That's based off of like 7 year old research though.

 

[RicoGrey]

I seem to have severe depressive episodes. Not sure if they are severe as I don't know what qualifies as severe. For me it is mostly a complete lack of interest in anything. You would need to prod me with a fire poker to get me moving. I also have very very severe social anxiety. Actually, kinda funny, when I have a depressive episode, my social anxiety goes way down, because I simply don't care.

Sometimes I also have the feelings of sadness too. I might feel like everything is my fault, that I can't do anything right, that nothing is worth trying, that maybe I should kill myself. Never actually even come close to killing myself, but sometimes I think about it.

HA, I will also feel guilty cause I am this tall, smart, and strong guy who hasn't done shit with my life, and there are people who are bound to wheelchairs or even worse. I always feel ashamed when I see a handicapped person cause I feel like they should have my body, cause they would do so much more with it.

I think mostly I just wish I could be normal. To be a normal person.

 

[GTwander]

I never used to believe in it, especially seeing as my mother was a manic depressive who I figured could have easily gotten her shit together, but later in life it started to creep in on me. Mostly because of mood-altering chronic illnesses, otherwise from my on-and-off financial or living situations, but I wouldn't consider myself a typically depressed person.

I did have a fit of schizo about 7 years ago, but I think that stemmed from a mixture of bottled-up traumas and the right trigger (at the time). Now I'm the most sane person on the planet - if you could believe that.

Other than that personal observation, I think typically depressed people just have issues with anxiety, social or otherwise. They can't cope with certain situations and will just sit around, mope and worry. Procrastination is a BIG key to that, I think, because all things just get worse over time if you just avoid the issue.

~Sorry I can't be of much help... my personal issues are pretty much alien to normal folk.
Capcha- cabbage stew (now hungry)

 

[Nexxis]

I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and use to take medicines for it, but I haven't taken any in years which I have recently been regretting. For me, depression is more like suddenly feeling a lack of energy. Like someone hit a switch in my brain and I suddenly feel like I don't have the energy or drive to accomplish anything. This usually leads to a feeling of helplessness since I never feel like I can get that energy back. I just have to ride it out. During this low state, it's very easy for life's little quirks to get to me. Stress feels intensified and I get irritated quicker than normal. This has led me to be suicidal on occasion or I hurt myself in some way or another. Feeling like I can't do anything also leads to some self-loathing, but that may be more of a personal thing rather than having a direct connection with depression. I do find it difficult to do things that I normally enjoy during that time. What scares me the most is that the condition feels like it's completely random. I've been out with friends at amusement parks having a lot of fun before suddenly feeling like I just want to go somewhere and curl up by myself. Sometimes, events can feel like a trigger such as a bad grade or death in the family, but most of the time it just happens without warning.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

According to my doctor you'd be classed as having a mild form of depression. I know, because I feel very similar to you and felt the same way during my school years (which were a long time ago).

Yeah I finished high school last year, didn't bring any lasting friends out of it really. I was friendly with a lot of people but sort of trapped in limbo between multiple friendship circles and nothing really stuck. Got any tips? I'm considering seeing a psychiatrist, I can't really afford to let it affect my University results any more.

I wish I could offer you some kind of "magic bullet" solution but unfortunately from what I've found treatment can be a bit trial and error. I've been on a raft of different medications, some of which have made me feel worse than I did to begin with. I've been to many different psychologists/councellors, some can be really helpful, others not so much. If you find a psychologist that you click with and is helpful then that is a really good thing.

My problem seems to be a bit of bad wiring in the brain caused by negative thought patterns. So often I'll start feeling down for no apparent reason just because that's the pattern my brain has gotten into when it gets certain stimuli. I'm going to see a hypnotherapist soon to try and put in blocks to "derail" the thought patterns. I know people who have had real success with it so I've got my fingers crossed.

BTW, don't feel too bad for not retaining many friends after school. I have three friends that I've known since I was 5 and that's about it.

 

[Charli]

The only way I can possibly put it into words is...

You truly believe with all your soul that you're beyond helping, and you don't 'fit' into your life.

Everyone is dragged down by different things but at it's core it's just... despair, fear and a cocktail of apathy and self pity that just keeps rolling in a vicious cycle that's hard to break out of without a drastic life change or the correct person inserting themselves into your life.

 

[Charli]

Edit: Stop being dyslexic, me. You suck.

 

[Saw767]

Well, I've had depression since I was in 3rd grade (I'm in my second year of college now), and I've had some other issues that coupled with it - creating the perfect storm of misery. Here is how I might describe it:

Depression is an assumption of defeat in a sea of victories that are oblivious to you for a time. For no reason at all, you can be swallowed whole by a swarm of negative feelings. Suddenly every molecule around you doesn't matter to you. You end up getting angry at the smallest of things, perhaps if you stub your toe on a chair - you will tip it over even if it makes no sense to do that. Your senses are dulled, your self-awareness is masked, and you don't think you need to help yourself out of the mindset - you believe deserve the feelings. Anxiety controls your mind, your whole world seems to exist in one color, and very little gets an emotional reaction - unless it reminds you of your own anguish, or pain. People seem only annoying and judgmental to you. No activity distracts you long enough for the depression to fade, and you may wish for an end...

I have had an episode or two that required some serious intervention, but I've been functioning well for several years. I have been on every anti-depressant, none have been sufficient for me - so I am dealing well without them. For others who have depression: we are stronger than we know- never believe you are weaker than your own brain.

Good luck with your paper.

 

[SlaveNumber23]

I wish I could offer you some kind of "magic bullet" solution but unfortunately from what I've found treatment can be a bit trial and error. I've been on a raft of different medications, some of which have made me feel worse than I did to begin with. I've been to many different psychologists/councellors, some can be really helpful, others not so much. If you find a psychologist that you click with and is helpful then that is a really good thing.

My problem seems to be a bit of bad wiring in the brain caused by negative thought patterns. So often I'll start feeling down for no apparent reason just because that's the pattern my brain has gotten into when it gets certain stimuli. I'm going to see a hypnotherapist soon to try and put in blocks to "derail" the thought patterns. I know people who have had real success with it so I've got my fingers crossed.

BTW, don't feel too bad for not retaining many friends after school. I have three friends that I've known since I was 5 and that's about it.

Thanks, your words are very much appreciated, good luck with the hypnotherapy I hope it all works out!