Depression - Have you had it and how did you cope?
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I have been a lurker to these forums for a while but it was this topic that made me create an account for myself.
I'm 29 and have been diagnosed with Mixed Bi-polar for well over 15 years, mainly starting around the time I was 8. Well, I'm not exactly sure when they diagnosed it but I can remember being depressed ever since I started the 3rd grade. Needless to say, it's been a very challenging and frustrating ride.
How do I cope with depression? Well, to really answer this, I have to kinda go back a bit. I was prescribed with many different meds but I can remember using these; Prozac and Zoloft. Depending on the person, Prozac can work really well but for me, it was horrible. Made me more depressed than I already felt. I took Zoloft for a very long time and it helped my depression much better but again, it works differently for others.
Despite the fact it helped, I stopped taking my Zoloft cold turkey and wanted to see if the medication really was doing anything to me. (NOTE: Doing this can possibly have some bad results, leading to even more depression, so not recommended). After the two month long withdrawals, I felt different but mainly better after I stopped taking it.
Now that that is out of the way, I have to say not being on medication has been a very interesting experience after taking medication for over 18 years straight. It's hardly been easy but I've learned about myself long enough to know when I'm getting depressed.
Now, to directly answer the question (sorry for the long partial-biography, lol), how do I cope with depression? For one, I'll listen to some music, usually upbeat but positive music. Another great way to cope with depression is meditation. Just lie down somewhere comfortable and let your mind drift to some relaxing music. This is a great way to relieve stress too.
I'm sorry if I posted too much info for those who want a direct answer, but I just wanted to give a little background to those wondering about medications since I've been there. On a personal note, for me, helping others and hoping I've been able to make someone feel even a little better is the best payoff for me.
I'm 29 and have been diagnosed with Mixed Bi-polar for well over 15 years, mainly starting around the time I was 8. Well, I'm not exactly sure when they diagnosed it but I can remember being depressed ever since I started the 3rd grade. Needless to say, it's been a very challenging and frustrating ride.
How do I cope with depression? Well, to really answer this, I have to kinda go back a bit. I was prescribed with many different meds but I can remember using these; Prozac and Zoloft. Depending on the person, Prozac can work really well but for me, it was horrible. Made me more depressed than I already felt. I took Zoloft for a very long time and it helped my depression much better but again, it works differently for others.
Despite the fact it helped, I stopped taking my Zoloft cold turkey and wanted to see if the medication really was doing anything to me. (NOTE: Doing this can possibly have some bad results, leading to even more depression, so not recommended). After the two month long withdrawals, I felt different but mainly better after I stopped taking it.
Now that that is out of the way, I have to say not being on medication has been a very interesting experience after taking medication for over 18 years straight. It's hardly been easy but I've learned about myself long enough to know when I'm getting depressed.
Now, to directly answer the question (sorry for the long partial-biography, lol), how do I cope with depression? For one, I'll listen to some music, usually upbeat but positive music. Another great way to cope with depression is meditation. Just lie down somewhere comfortable and let your mind drift to some relaxing music. This is a great way to relieve stress too.
I'm sorry if I posted too much info for those who want a direct answer, but I just wanted to give a little background to those wondering about medications since I've been there. On a personal note, for me, helping others and hoping I've been able to make someone feel even a little better is the best payoff for me.
Exercise.
Now I'm not trying to say that exercise alone will lift you out of your depression and make everything better, but it will help, even by itself. What's more, it can really help to get the ball rolling, acting as a sort of catalyst for other kinds of progress.
There are so many benefits that I'm having trouble thinking of a coherent, logical way to express them. Maybe as a narrative?
OK, so you're depressed. It takes a mountain of effort do do the simplest things, so you generally do nothing other than watch TV or play games or dick around online or whatever, which makes you feel even worse about yourself, making it even harder to do anything productive. Lather, rinse and repeat.
You have your ups and downs, though, and on some of the ups, you say to yourself, 'Fuck this. I'm gonna get my shit together, get my life in order. I'm gonna [insert master plan here]!'
You're determined. Enough is enough. You make some grand plan, and you're doing great for a while, but the up doesn't last forever and with it goes any chance you had at following through and you're back where you started, only with another failure under your belt.
Up, down. Up, down. Up. 'Fuck this, yadda yadda, life in order. I'm gonna get in shape! It's not OK to look like a stick figure who swallowed a basketball!" (That's me - your mileage may vary, but if you're depressed, chances are you're not exactly in tip-top shape.) So you go for a run. Not to a gym, full of people who are fitter, tanner, better looking, happier and more successful than you, but to a park or something, the less people the better. That way you can rock out to your motivational playlist, or make up stupid training routines a la Rocky, or whatever, without feeling like a complete idiot.
Fifteen minutes later, your lungs are on fire and you can barely walk, so you stumble home and maybe do some push-ups to make yourself feel better for not even making it to a mile. You shower, and there you go. You've exercised.
You sit back down in front of the computer, but a few things are different. You've accomplished a goal; done something productive, small as it may be. You've gotten your blood flowing, not to mention some endorphins. Your muscles are feeling pretty sore, and though it hurts, it's kind of a welcome change to feel anything at all (plus, they'll probably be a little inflamed, making them feel bigger and heavier, allowing you to convince yourself you're well on your way to looking like Brad Pitt in Fight Club.) You just showered, so you're feeling nice and cleaned up. If you went for your run during daylight, you'll have gotten some sun, so you'll have a bit of a mood boost from that, too, and maybe even a little color.
All in all, you're feeling pretty satisfied with yourself, all things considered - productive, healthy, clean, better looking - and all it took was 30-40 minutes from the moment you decided to go to the time you're plopped back in your chair.
The mood probably won't last very long, but while it does, you're more likely to score other small victories - brush your teeth, clean your apartment, have a glass of water instead of a beer, hold off for a while on that cigarette, cook a meal instead of ordering pizza...
Like I said, small victories, but they have a way of building on each other. And that's just the immediate effects of the first workout. Each one after that, even if it takes you a week to go again, is better than the last. You can see easily identifiable progress. Soon you're running a mile instead of half, though you had to walk a couple times. Then you're running - actually running - 2 miles. 30 push-ups instead of 15. 10 pull-ups! It's like you can watch your stats increasing (RPG fan here.)
And it's not just about numbers. You'll start to feel it in every movement you make, in the way you walk, in your posture. You'll just feel... stronger. More confident. Not because you're going to go out and kick some ass, but because you just might be able to hold your own if somebody tried to kick yours.
Not to mention the superficial changes. You'll look better. Better skin. Healthier color. Fitter. Your entire shape changes (again, assuming you started out in pretty bad shape.)
All of which will make you more attractive to others (which might have the added bonus of facilitating a situation in which you might show off your new-found sex drive and stamina,) but more importantly, it will make you more attractive to YOU.
I haven't even gone into how it can help to clear your mind. It can be like a kind of meditation - alone with your thoughts, no distractions, just the thump-thump-thump of you footsteps or the clinking of the weights and I just realized the degree to which I've been rambling, so I'll try and wrap it up.
To conclude, exercise probably won't single-handedly lift you out of dark pit of depression, but it can be an easy way to ameliorate the lows and give you an overall boost everywhere else. A relatively small boost, but maybe enough to allow you to grasp a handhold that was previously beyond your reach.
Oh, and another thing. Weed can be a great way to zone out and pass the time, but it's your worst enemy when it comes to actually getting out of depression.
And one more thing. Don't quit drinking. Well, if you're getting hammered on a daily basis, yeah, quit. But if you do, avoid hanging out with people who are drinking. Being sober around a bunch of drunk people will only intensify your contempt and hatred for the rest of humanity.
EDIT: Holy shitballs, that is a long post. Sorry about that.
Now I'm not trying to say that exercise alone will lift you out of your depression and make everything better, but it will help, even by itself. What's more, it can really help to get the ball rolling, acting as a sort of catalyst for other kinds of progress.
There are so many benefits that I'm having trouble thinking of a coherent, logical way to express them. Maybe as a narrative?
OK, so you're depressed. It takes a mountain of effort do do the simplest things, so you generally do nothing other than watch TV or play games or dick around online or whatever, which makes you feel even worse about yourself, making it even harder to do anything productive. Lather, rinse and repeat.
You have your ups and downs, though, and on some of the ups, you say to yourself, 'Fuck this. I'm gonna get my shit together, get my life in order. I'm gonna [insert master plan here]!'
You're determined. Enough is enough. You make some grand plan, and you're doing great for a while, but the up doesn't last forever and with it goes any chance you had at following through and you're back where you started, only with another failure under your belt.
Up, down. Up, down. Up. 'Fuck this, yadda yadda, life in order. I'm gonna get in shape! It's not OK to look like a stick figure who swallowed a basketball!" (That's me - your mileage may vary, but if you're depressed, chances are you're not exactly in tip-top shape.) So you go for a run. Not to a gym, full of people who are fitter, tanner, better looking, happier and more successful than you, but to a park or something, the less people the better. That way you can rock out to your motivational playlist, or make up stupid training routines a la Rocky, or whatever, without feeling like a complete idiot.
Fifteen minutes later, your lungs are on fire and you can barely walk, so you stumble home and maybe do some push-ups to make yourself feel better for not even making it to a mile. You shower, and there you go. You've exercised.
You sit back down in front of the computer, but a few things are different. You've accomplished a goal; done something productive, small as it may be. You've gotten your blood flowing, not to mention some endorphins. Your muscles are feeling pretty sore, and though it hurts, it's kind of a welcome change to feel anything at all (plus, they'll probably be a little inflamed, making them feel bigger and heavier, allowing you to convince yourself you're well on your way to looking like Brad Pitt in Fight Club.) You just showered, so you're feeling nice and cleaned up. If you went for your run during daylight, you'll have gotten some sun, so you'll have a bit of a mood boost from that, too, and maybe even a little color.
All in all, you're feeling pretty satisfied with yourself, all things considered - productive, healthy, clean, better looking - and all it took was 30-40 minutes from the moment you decided to go to the time you're plopped back in your chair.
The mood probably won't last very long, but while it does, you're more likely to score other small victories - brush your teeth, clean your apartment, have a glass of water instead of a beer, hold off for a while on that cigarette, cook a meal instead of ordering pizza...
Like I said, small victories, but they have a way of building on each other. And that's just the immediate effects of the first workout. Each one after that, even if it takes you a week to go again, is better than the last. You can see easily identifiable progress. Soon you're running a mile instead of half, though you had to walk a couple times. Then you're running - actually running - 2 miles. 30 push-ups instead of 15. 10 pull-ups! It's like you can watch your stats increasing (RPG fan here.)
And it's not just about numbers. You'll start to feel it in every movement you make, in the way you walk, in your posture. You'll just feel... stronger. More confident. Not because you're going to go out and kick some ass, but because you just might be able to hold your own if somebody tried to kick yours.
Not to mention the superficial changes. You'll look better. Better skin. Healthier color. Fitter. Your entire shape changes (again, assuming you started out in pretty bad shape.)
All of which will make you more attractive to others (which might have the added bonus of facilitating a situation in which you might show off your new-found sex drive and stamina,) but more importantly, it will make you more attractive to YOU.
I haven't even gone into how it can help to clear your mind. It can be like a kind of meditation - alone with your thoughts, no distractions, just the thump-thump-thump of you footsteps or the clinking of the weights and I just realized the degree to which I've been rambling, so I'll try and wrap it up.
To conclude, exercise probably won't single-handedly lift you out of dark pit of depression, but it can be an easy way to ameliorate the lows and give you an overall boost everywhere else. A relatively small boost, but maybe enough to allow you to grasp a handhold that was previously beyond your reach.
Oh, and another thing. Weed can be a great way to zone out and pass the time, but it's your worst enemy when it comes to actually getting out of depression.
And one more thing. Don't quit drinking. Well, if you're getting hammered on a daily basis, yeah, quit. But if you do, avoid hanging out with people who are drinking. Being sober around a bunch of drunk people will only intensify your contempt and hatred for the rest of humanity.
EDIT: Holy shitballs, that is a long post. Sorry about that.
The key to not being depressed anymore is to stop giving so much of a damn.
Stop caring about what you wanted to do with your life and just do whatever you can.
Don't ever expect anything good to happen but be pleasantly surprised if anything good does happen.
Stop caring about how you think people might view you.
Think about what you actually did right, as opposed to all the things you could have done right but didn't.
Stop wanting things you can not realistically have or get.
Admit to yourself that while your life could be better, it could also be much, MUCH worse (especially if you also compare it to "no life at all").
Stop obsessing about past mistakes and their future consequences (if unavoidable).
Last time I checked, changing the past was still impossible.
Worry ONLY about things you have (or can get) control over.
Last but not least, KEEP BUSY. If you don't have time to think about how much everything sucks, you have no time to feel crappy about everything being so wrong. I recommend loads and loads of computer games, TV shows, movies and a huge collection of books.
Contentment through drastically lowered expectations FTW.
Life gets a lot cheaper too.
That latest and best PC parts ? Meh, one or two steps down from the top of the previous generation (or even the one before that) will do fine too. In fact, that might be too much.
Preorder games ? Are you kidding ? Wait until they're on special offer. Or just watch "let's play" on youtube.
Why go to the movies ? It'll be out on DVD soon. In fact, why rent the DVD at all ? Cable will broadcast it not much later.
That book you wanted to read ? Wait for the paperback. Actually, wait for the discount version of the paperback. Or better still, the discount electronic version. Or, you know, just read free e-books, there's like a zillion of them.
Out drinking with the buddies ? Well, for starters, you shouldn't be drinking (alcohol is a depressant), and anyway, you have better things to do. Like stay at home and play years-old games on your dirt-cheap PC, and fight with strangers on various forums over the internet.
Is this healthy ? Probably not. But depression is certainly worse.
Besides, it's oh so much more convenient than working your ass off for something you don't actually need just so you can feel fake-happy about your perception of other people's impression of what you've accomplished.
And beats not living at all by a long shot too.
Stop caring about what you wanted to do with your life and just do whatever you can.
Don't ever expect anything good to happen but be pleasantly surprised if anything good does happen.
Stop caring about how you think people might view you.
Think about what you actually did right, as opposed to all the things you could have done right but didn't.
Stop wanting things you can not realistically have or get.
Admit to yourself that while your life could be better, it could also be much, MUCH worse (especially if you also compare it to "no life at all").
Stop obsessing about past mistakes and their future consequences (if unavoidable).
Last time I checked, changing the past was still impossible.
Worry ONLY about things you have (or can get) control over.
Last but not least, KEEP BUSY. If you don't have time to think about how much everything sucks, you have no time to feel crappy about everything being so wrong. I recommend loads and loads of computer games, TV shows, movies and a huge collection of books.
Contentment through drastically lowered expectations FTW.
Life gets a lot cheaper too.
That latest and best PC parts ? Meh, one or two steps down from the top of the previous generation (or even the one before that) will do fine too. In fact, that might be too much.
Preorder games ? Are you kidding ? Wait until they're on special offer. Or just watch "let's play" on youtube.
Why go to the movies ? It'll be out on DVD soon. In fact, why rent the DVD at all ? Cable will broadcast it not much later.
That book you wanted to read ? Wait for the paperback. Actually, wait for the discount version of the paperback. Or better still, the discount electronic version. Or, you know, just read free e-books, there's like a zillion of them.
Out drinking with the buddies ? Well, for starters, you shouldn't be drinking (alcohol is a depressant), and anyway, you have better things to do. Like stay at home and play years-old games on your dirt-cheap PC, and fight with strangers on various forums over the internet.
Is this healthy ? Probably not. But depression is certainly worse.
Besides, it's oh so much more convenient than working your ass off for something you don't actually need just so you can feel fake-happy about your perception of other people's impression of what you've accomplished.
And beats not living at all by a long shot too.