Depression: No Real Significance

[PumpItUp]

This is a companion piece to Depression: Winter Blues.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.84323

Have you ever had a point in your life when you realize that you have never accomplished anything truly great? I don't mean like your latest XBox Acheivement or gaming kill, but something real, something tangible that would have an effect on someone other than another gamer. Recently I've felt that I've never accomplished anything important and that all my gaming is just distracting me from doing something of real significance, while at the same time, I can never get myself worked up to want to do anything besides trying to enjoy myself.
I want to be a writer but I can never sit long enough to actually write anything and even if I do, writing fiction is difficult.

This is part discussion piece and part advice column. Do you have any suggestions on how I can become motivated or at least feel like I'm accomplishing something? And have you ever hit a rut yourself? And what do you do when you are distracted enough that videogames stop being fun?

 

[mokes310]

Sure I have, but it's all about small steps. I was in a total rut, but one day, I decided that I wasn't going to go down that road anymore. My first goal was to wake up at 5am every morning and go surfing before work. Once I had that down, I set slightly larger goals, then larger, then larger, then I was laid-off. You'd think that it would have thrown me back into a funk, but ever since my epiphony, for lack of a better word, I've been motivated to make myself better and to be happy.

Happiness is just a state of mind, you just have to find a way to get yourself there.

 

[Labyrinth]

I felt like that until I organised and spoke at APEC protests in 2007. From then on up, it's been pretty good. As for establishing your own motivation, find something you're passionate about. I'd suggest finding something you want to destroy. That works for me.

 

[Avida]

You have two choices, either work your ass off or accept that nothing is likely to change.

 

[Mathew952]

Your one in 6 billion. Very few things you could possibly do are going to be remembered. Even if you invent something, become a war hero, or cure a disease, you'll probably still be forgotten. I find that rather than lying to your self and saying "I'm gonna be a Astronat an' cure cancer! YING!" It's much more logical to accept that you wont, and just live your life in way that's satisfying to yourself, whilst not harming anyone else.

 

[Puppeteer Putin]

Sure I have, but it's all about small steps. I was in a total rut, but one day, I decided that I wasn't going to go down that road anymore. My first goal was to wake up at 5am every morning and go surfing before work. Once I had that down, I set slightly larger goals, then larger, then larger, then I was laid-off. You'd think that it would have thrown me back into a funk, but ever since my epiphony, for lack of a better word, I've been motivated to make myself better and to be happy.

Happiness is just a state of mind, you just have to find a way to get yourself there.

Mokes speaks the Truth. Just set small goals for yourself, could start at anything, for example try to write a 500 word short story. Then slowly build up and as you gain momentum you'll write notes and start researching. It's about getting into the habit of working.

 

[Sennz0r]

Do you have a job? May sound silly but when I got a job (still in school) I felt like I had a better grip on real life because I took on a real life responsibility.

 

[Untamed Waters]

Your one in 6 billion. Very few things you could possibly do are going to be remembered. Even if you invent something, become a war hero, or cure a disease, you'll probably still be forgotten. I find that rather than lying to your self and saying "I'm gonna be a Astronat an' cure cancer! YING!" It's much more logical to accept that you wont, and just live your life in way that's satisfying to yourself, whilst not harming anyone else.

What he's thinking is that you affect someone elses life, and herein start a chain reaction. They affect someone elses life beacause of you, until someone or something comes along that is happening through that person you touched years and years ago. A self-knowing that you made a difference in someone's life.

 

[lightningsax]

First of all, I think you're expecting the human norm to be something that it's not. Think about it - what's the name of this site? We're all here to get away from real life in some way. You're not the outcast for feeling insignificant, you're the rest of the planet. Unless you're a d-bag, in which case you'll feel significant no matter what and just get in the way. I'm assuming you're from the US like me, and sorry if you're not, but we're really used to heroic tales over here. Hollywood likes to tell us that everything we're doing is leading toward some type of ultimate mission, some payoff that will bring in the orchestra, the girl, and then the credits, but it doesn't happen that way. No matter what we do, it is going to be flawed, and we are always going to feel lonely and unaccomplished sometimes.

I think that you need to look at what you're really going to do for a living, and make sure it's something practical and something you like. You're a student, although I don't know what level, so you're at the point where you could shift things around by exploring different career paths before taking the plunge. I suggest you do that. Why do you want to be a writer? If you can't concentrate on it, and it seems unnatural to you talent-wise, you may want to look elsewhere. Either that or you need to accept that what you write will have its problems, and you'll need to do what the good writers do at first and have an editor (not a pro, just a peer that will look over your stuff and give his/her opinions). You're not going to sit down and write the next Crime and Punishment, especially without guidance. Just try to do what you like!

Also, on the writing idea, do you concentrate much on form when you try to write? Some of the best writers out there don't even begin to write a word of their stuff without a diagram of the grand scheme, what's going to happen. Beethoven may get some motives in his head, but there's no way he just sat down one day and wrote his Ninth Symphony - it's a giant work with many distinctive sections that were probably worked on individually. Form helps you get to where you need to go, breaking down your project into definite parts and making it seem less massive.

There are a few movies out there that deal with the kind of stuff you're going through that may help. I suggest that you go see Synecdoche, New York. People that aren't currently dealing with depression might call it a downer of a movie, but those of us that have dealt with depression could use the philosophy it tries to bring out in the movie. Sure, it's a ridiculously dense work, but I think you may get a few more ideas on how everyone works, and at the very least, you won't feel like you have such a problem since you're suffering. Heck, Buddhism, one of the happiest religion/philosophies on Earth, is based around the premise that we're all suffering right now. Speaking of Buddhism, go see i <3 huckabees while you're at it! Since they're both well-written, you may get some inspiration from them too.

Hope some of this helps! You've still got a long way to go in your life, so I wouldn't worry about accomplishments yet - just do what you like, explore new things, and look for inspiration and philosophy.

 

[theklng]

You have two choices, either work your ass off or accept that nothing is likely to change.

untrue. you have the choice to do whatever you want to do and be whoever you want to be. absolute statements like yours make the world a place worse off than it was before.

i've never been to the point where i've actually thought that i've accomplished nothing, i've helped people out of trouble, talked them out of suicide and generally just do what i was able to for people that i've gotten to know.

but i didn't want to stop there. i'm not altruistic; and even though i have helped others, i see a greater purpose in life for myself within myself. i don't live for others, i live for myself. with a belief in yourself, you can do anything you want to and put your mind to. going that way however is a way only few will go; it isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. but if you have the guts to face the world and everyone who would speak against you, you'll become clear with yourself on what you want to do. and once you're there, nobody can or should tell you otherwise.

 

[lightningsax]

You have two choices, either work your ass off or accept that nothing is likely to change.

Yeah, I agree with theking here. That's a bit drill-sergeant-y. You can work your ass off and get absolutely nothing out of it. Heck, look at David Korresh - he worked really hard to convince a cult that he was the second coming of Jesus, and it resulted in an FBI sting and a mass suicide. Not necessarily an accomplishment. Einstein, on the other hand, just did whatever he wanted, got kicked out of school, pursued what he felt like doing, THEN worked his ass off, and wound up being probably the most prominent scientist of the 20th century.

There's a lot of hard work out there that will go unanswered by any payback or recoil, even within your own mind. It's much more important at this time in your life that you find out what makes you tick, and just keep exploring.

 

[Avida]

You have two choices, either work your ass off or accept that nothing is likely to change.

untrue. you have the choice to do whatever you want to do and be whoever you want to be. absolute statements like yours make the world a place worse off than it was before.

i've never been to the point where i've actually thought that i've accomplished nothing, i've helped people out of trouble, talked them out of suicide and generally just do what i was able to for people that i've gotten to know.

but i didn't want to stop there. i'm not altruistic; and even though i have helped others, i see a greater purpose in life for myself within myself. i don't live for others, i live for myself. with a belief in yourself, you can do anything you want to and put your mind to. going that way however is a way only few will go; it isn't easy and it isn't for everyone. but if you have the guts to face the world and everyone who would speak against you, you'll become clear with yourself on what you want to do. and once you're there, nobody can or should tell you otherwise.

Alright then, ill add a 3rd choice 'hope shit changes for you' - Your mindset and his are clearly leagues away, you do not change mindets that dramatically unless something dramatic happens. I dont think advising someone like that to simply be themselves is a good idea. Besides when you boil down those few paragraphs of yours, your advice and mine realy arent that different.

Yeah, I agree with theking here. That's a bit drill-sergeant-y. You can work your ass off and get absolutely nothing out of it. Heck, look at David Korresh - he worked really hard to convince a cult that he was the second coming of Jesus, and it resulted in an FBI sting and a mass suicide. Not necessarily an accomplishment.

Fair enough on that last bit but i still say its advice to stick by. Also David worked hard and got where he wanted to be.. even if it was fucked up.

 

[Epifols]

I got two people to threaten to kill themselves, but they never went through with it. If they did then I would have had a great impact in someones life. But as of now, I'm not too outstanding.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

This is part discussion piece and part advice column. Do you have any suggestions on how I can become motivated or at least feel like I'm accomplishing something? And have you ever hit a rut yourself? And what do you do when you are distracted enough that videogames stop being fun?

I'd suggest getting into a sport or learning to play a musical instrument - or some other hobby where you're constantly improving yourself, and if you get good enough, you can make an awesome career out of it. As far as your current hobby of writing goes, Lightningsax seems to have some good advice.

If you still can't think of anything you'd be interested in, I'd suggest getting into the habit of exercise. If you're the type to get lost in thought, going for a walk is a good idea. It may not seem like much, but after a few years of regular walking, I walk pretty damn fast (which is especially useful for getting to class on time, walking home when you'd normally need a ride, etc.)

DISCLAIMER: If you already have regular exercise habits, and/or a hobby revolving around a sport/musical instrument/martial art, etc. disregard my advice, as it's completely redundant.

 

[xitel]

I just try to make at least a few people remember me. I know there are a ton of folks out there, but at least I can make a lasting impression on the people I know. When I meet someone I haven't seen in a decade and they recognize me instantly, it really makes me feel like I've accomplished that goal. So my advice is don't be afraid to meet new people, and don't worry about being remembered world wide, just try to get the people that you do meet to remember you.

 

[theklng]

Alright then, ill add a 3rd choice 'hope shit changes for you' - Your mindset and his are clearly leagues away, you do not change mindets that dramatically unless something dramatic happens. I dont think advising someone like that to simply be themselves is a good idea. Besides when you boil down those few paragraphs of yours, your advice and mine realy arent that different.

the problem is that you have an outlook on life that's based purely on binary logic; whatever you do is either-or. in truth, that's not the way the world works (logic was invented by mankind). you don't have to work hard to find purpose; i'd even go so far as to say that people who do that are trying to give themselves purpose by working endlessly and never giving their mind a rest to think things through.

i was well aware what OP might think when he saw what i wrote, and while he may be far from my mindset, i didn't he should just lay down and cry. i'm all for working out problems, i wouldn't cry over spilled milk; but hard work is not a solution any more than general procrastination is. if you have a problem, you find out what sparked it, then take it from there to go out and rationally eradicate the given fear behind it. and, by doing so, you come closer to yourself.

you don't seem like a people person, and that's fine; everyone has a purpose. i bet you're good at math or physics. i am, however, against when you use only logic in account with what is the irrational mind. there is not always a logic solution to a problem, especially not when concerning human feelings. and, arguably, that's what we're dealing with here.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

On the odd occasion where I do feel like I am achieving nothing, I recognise that my concern is that I am worried that people are judging me for it...not that I actually care about achieving things. So quickly fall back into being lazy. Having said that, I am moving things forward. Putting the finishing touches on a recorded demo, and starting to buckle under persistant pressure to play in public.
You say you want to be a writer. Perhaps you are naturally very reserved like me? I know that I love writing music but get apprehensive when I get the feeling that I am letting people in on how I feel. I would imagine that feeling would be much intensified for a writer because there is nowhere to hide.

 

[Ace of Spades]

I have never really accomplished anything, and as long as I enjoy the rest of my life, I don't really care.