Describe your current thoughts on your life

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Well, I can say I'm a big mixture of happiness, frustration and worry. I'm worried that I'm wasting valuable time by living at my parents. It's true that the rent is much cheaper than anywhere else and I'm able to save up money for school by working as much as I can. It just feels like I'm not moving anywhere with my life and that's frustrating.

Yet, I'm very happy with my relationships. I have great friends both offline and online. I'm on good terms with all of my family. I do my best to be an awesome Uncle for my nephew and niece while they're still little.

Then there's the worry that I won't be able to go to school in 2013 as planned.

So I'm mostly happy, frustrated at where I am (not in school) and worried about getting my life in gear. Could be a hell of a lot worse but that's my current state of affairs.

Enough about me though. What are your thoughts, right now, on where you are as a person. Where do you want to be by next year? Is life frustrating or pleasant?

 

[A Satanic Panda]

Pretty damn content. I know a bunch of awesome people, I got a sweet paying job for a 17 year old, my food is tasty, and my health is impeccable. A good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion, what more do I need?

 

[Loop Stricken]

Can't anybody
Find me

Somebody toooo

loooooove?


Also;

But other than that, I'm unemployed and just on the right side of serious depression.

 

[Hazy992]

My life's kinda shitty at the moment. I dropped out of university, I've got no job and no money. My social life's even more shitty than usual as a result.

On the plus side I'm getting over my depression and feeling a hell of a lot better than I did a couple of months ago

 

[Jazoni89]

I would love to say that my life is peachy and fine, but it's not, far from it. I think the last time in my life when I was truly content in myself was when I was 16, and that was a long time ago.

It's pretty much a combination of circumstances, situations, untrust, and self-fulfilling prophecies, that I won't go in to great detail about. Let's just say shit hit the fan, a few months ago, and I'm still recovering from a deep depression which caused me to quit voluntary work, and everything else I was doing at the time.

Though, I'm trying very hard to turn my life around, but it's very difficult being a single twenty-something, socially awkward individual, being a hundred miles away from your home town, and everyone you know, and ever cared for. Hell, I hardly ever see my mum nowadays, and she only lives on the other side of the forest.

I'm practically alone in myself, and I wish there was something I could do about it.

On the plus side, I'm going to a activity course in two weeks, so who knows, i might start building bridges instead of burning them like I always do.

 

[Phasmal]

Right now I'm thinking-
There are too many spiders in my house.
I want to get a cat so that my walls don't get grossed up by spiderguts.

But about life-
I'm a bit worried because my Nan is going through cancer treatment and my mum's been pushing me to visit her but I am one of those people who always is ill, so... it's conflicting.
Still can't find a job because I spent the last two years very ill and that doesn't look great on your CV.
Getting better at being a functional adult and running my own home and that. Made a casserole the other day. I know. I'm awesome.
Oh yeah and I'm renewing my tenancy soon. So I'll be in my house for another six months at least. Scary.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

My life's kinda shitty at the moment. I dropped out of university, I've got no job and no money. My social life's even more shitty than usual as a result.

On the plus side I'm getting over my depression and feeling a hell of a lot better than I did a couple of months ago

*hugs*

Sorry to hear that. I was feeling pretty shitty when I was out of work for a month and my savings vanished.

Best of luck getting a new job!

 

[Andy Shandy]

Well I dropped out of university a year ago and haven't been able to find anything since (have applied for jobs but either haven't heard back or been turned down) and now I'm finding it difficult to have to motivation to after those refusals.

However, I got back a week ago from a lovely holiday in Yorkshire (only problem was it was too hot at times), I've got a good group of friends, some of whom I've gotten much closer to than I was before the year started. I've helped a friend raise money for the staff at Ninewells who have helped with her gastroparesis. I've been able to help at a local youth club that I've been going to for years (mainly with computer-y stuff, but every little helps, including having a group on Facebook which has brought in a couple more people). Also looking to earn a bit of money helping my dad sell some of his old shite on eBay. Oh, and the fact that my dad did well in a quiz show (but that's all I can say. Although I suppose I could name the quiz show) And then there's the really shallow things like having an achievement score over 100k, and finally watching Community and Arrested Development this year and loving them both. And my team, Dundee United, outwith the horsing we got against Dinamo Moscow, look like we're going to have an excellent season of football. And I posted more, and enjoyed it on the forums here, whether it be trolling, derailed threads, puns on news stories or legitimate discussions.

So some good, some bad.

 

[Hazy992]

My life's kinda shitty at the moment. I dropped out of university, I've got no job and no money. My social life's even more shitty than usual as a result.

On the plus side I'm getting over my depression and feeling a hell of a lot better than I did a couple of months ago

*hugs*

Sorry to hear that. I was feeling pretty shitty when I was out of work for a month and my savings vanished.

Best of luck getting a new job!

Thanks man, just gotta keep up with the job hunting. Hopefully get lucky soon

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Thanks man, just gotta keep up with the job hunting. Hopefully get lucky soon

Job ads online help target places you can leave a resume at but random resume drops work too. My current job is perfect for what I need and it all came about because I randomly hit them up with a resume.

 

[teqrevisited]

Almost everything I attempt ends in utter failure. Rejection after rejection after no reply all adding up to a huge pool of resentment for employers and the people who insist that it's so easy to get a job and make the assumption that I'm lazy. It's not for lack of effort: I've tried agencies, volunteer schemes, listing my CV online on multiple sites... Everything. I've been shrugging it off for the longest time but sooner or later I can just see myself snapping and doing something irrational.

I've still got my mates etc, but I long for when somewhere actually gives me a chance so that everyone who nags constantly with no inkling of how it even feels to be turned down time and time again can just bugger off and leave me in peace.

 

[Hazy992]

Thanks man, just gotta keep up with the job hunting. Hopefully get lucky soon

Job ads online help target places you can leave a resume at but random resume drops work too. My current job is perfect for what I need and it all came about because I randomly hit them up with a resume.

Yeah I've mainly been applying online but I've handed in a few CVs too. Gonna hit the Job Centre on Monday. Thanks for the advice

 

[Vault101]

happiness...contentment

yet a small fear of complacency and loneliness

 

[Mr. GameBrain]

On the professional/academic level I'm suffering from not being able to get a placement.
Probably going to need to transfer to a lesser Business degree really. Its been 2 years, and I just can't seem to get anything sorted out.
Got a couple of weeks, and I might as well give it my best for those couple of weeks.

On the personal level? I'm doing a bit better.
I'm making a little progress on trying to be a little more outgoing and self-confident.
I go on the occasional long walk. (Too hot for me at the moment but once it cools down I aim to walk at least once or twice a week)

I'm trying to talk to new people more. I struggle, but I'm kind of getting there. (I just worry too much about what other people think about me, worried I'll say something stupid, do something awkward, or just flat-out embarass myself)

I decided to take up Magic: The Gathering, so its providing me with a good excuse to get out and interact with the world.
The local comic shop guys are pretty nice people. They don't mind a quick chat about something. I really feel happy when I can talk about something related to my interests to a person who actually knows what I'm talking about.
(I had a nice convo about Thunderbolts, Magic, some other stuff that I fortunately knew about. (Not really a comic person, but since GAME and HMV died, the comic shop is all we got really))

As sad as it sounds, I just want more friends really.
I have only 3 people I can consider friends, and two I barely keep in touch with.

The only person I ever directly interact with is my best friend, and since he works fulltime now, its even harder to get into contact, and try to get free time to meet up.
(we normally manage a few days gaming every month or two so its not so bad)

Everyone else I ever got friendly with, I just never properly connected with. Just "chat" kind of friends, rather than the kind you can just pop over and have fun with.

I know mostly its probably me being closed off and quiet, because everyone who knows me says how much of a great person I am, (and give me a gazillion reasons. But I struggle to accept it because I am so flawed as a human being), but I never seem to show it well.

I need to relax more, cast negativety and self-doubt out of my mind, but its easier said than done. A full debate normally goes on in my head when people are around, the party against me doing anything normally winning.

But on the ocassions when I do lighten up, people DO tend find me at the very least interesting, if not fun.
(A co-worker the other week commented on how different I acted, mimiking my skulking I normally do in a friendly way, and we had some fun on the downtime)

I think eventually, once I get the personal stuff sorted, the professional stuff will be easier to deal with.
(I mean, who has ever heard of a Businessman who is scared to hell of dealing with people? (Sounds like something out of a comedy manga/anime! XD))

Its a very slow process, and its tough. Really tough. I mean I was beating myself up for days just for failing 1 job interview. Even know I don't really want to apply to any more, but somehow tomorrow. I have to find the strength I know I have to dust myself off and get back to work.

 

[Broady Brio]

Results day is coming up next week. I'm scared to think I've wasted my time for the 3rd year running. With my last group of friends broke apart, I've been awfully lonely, which has not helped. And considering I just dropped off my brother and his friends off to a pub so they can get piss-ass drunk together? Yeah, I'm pretty damn miserable. Verging on tears at this moment.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Ohhh man. This is one of those things that generally doesn't treat me too well, due to the fact that I've been quite self-deprecating up to this point. But you know what? The first part of solving the problem is facing it, so let's face the fire.

In short, I didn't hit rock bottom. Instead, I tunneled underneath to a point where now the only way to go is up. I've been at the bottom of a pint with ten more in my stomach, and I've been at the wrong side of a loaded gun, with my finger on the trigger. I've overdosed and found myself in some very dark places, and I've crawled out of two auto accidents. I wear a metaphorical and semi-literal mask to cover it up, hiding in plain sight for many years. My friends are no strangers to misfortune either, one having $15,000 taken from him by his deadbeat parents. We're prisoners, and our job now is to set up our escape.

I don't have high self-esteem, I'm in terrible shape, I work a dead-end job where I don't get paid nearly enough, and I drive a car which literally stabs me in the back when I drive it. My schooling is not going well, I tend to swing violently between manic and depressive states, and I've attempted suicide TWICE. I'm trying to get help but I need to figure out what I'm going to say in a manner that doesn't make me look like someone that belongs in a straightjacket. It's a challenging position.

It sucks.

 

[Doclector]

Okay, here's a fair warning. You may have noticed I haven't been such a whiny ***** in a while. Sure, there was that whole anger thread, but I'd hardly catagorise that that under "whiny". I've been making a genuine effort not to do this so much anymore. One of the main reasons I like forums is that I like to discuss things and entertain people. Nobody wants to discuss my issues for obvious reasons, and beyond laughing at my attempts to reach that "humanity" thing, it isn't funny. Of course, at the same time, my mind would have to decide to give me the biggest, most brutal beating I've had in a while. So this is gonna be, to be frank, emo. It's going to be so emo, I actually might harm myself a little. Not to be more emo, but as punishment for being emo, as an attempted aversion therapy from being emo.

Jesus, this has become a wall of text before I even got to the spoiler tag. Let's get this weak ass shit over with.

Spoiler

Well, I feel strange about my life. I'll say I've felt worse, but I've felt far better. Something that hasn't reared it's head for a while has come back in; Loneliness. Simple isolation. It feels like so long since it happened that for a while, I couldn't identify this feeling properly. This is because after all the crap I went through in college (most of it my own fault, but still, it all made me tire of people a little, especially seeming as it felt like I could never understand them), I was happy to go on summer break and be away from them for a little while. I didn't hate people like I did before, but I still felt far from them, I didn't feel too much of a need for company. Coming away from uni, I felt genuinely sad to leave. I felt genuine sadness about my friends one by one leaving as I chose a late time to finally move out for summer. Hell, sometimes I found it hard not to cry. It was all for the first time, y'see. That's the thing about having a childhood that couldn't be called as such. All your "firsts" get delayed, and nobody really seems to understand or remember how much of a big deal this kind of stuff is for the first time it happens.

For this reason, I guess, I feel lonely. And it all reminds me how far from humanity I feel. It seems strange to say, but I barely feel human at all most of the time. What is human? I would have to act like a human being. For the majority, I don't act like a normal human being. I wonder whether I even think like one. I don't look like what it seems a picture of a "human" has become. Point is, no matter what the truth in the matter is, no matter what side of that human line I'm on, I feel seperate from normal people. I feel like nobody can ever understand me, and I can't fully understand normal people.

I long for a group of misfits and outsiders. Where I'd fit. I played that "loneliness" game that was mentioned in the latest episode of extra credits, and that taught me something about myself, that I crave interaction deep down inside, but I don't even tend to bother with "normal" groups anymore. I'll rush headlong into anything out of the ordinary, in the hope that I've found others like me.

I've made friends, plenty of them, but I can't really bring myself to open up to any of them fully. I joke, I hint, but I can't confess. I guess it's for the same reason that I don't want to play the emo on here. I like to entertain people. I am no crying clown. I no longer feel it my duty to entertain, I like to. I feel ten times better about myself when I make somebody laugh. I don't wait for meetings with people in the hope that they'll cheer me up, I await meetings with people in the hope that I can cheer them up, which'll cheer me up. I can't figure out whether that's selfish or not.

I'm paranoid as well. Nothing new. But I find myself more ready to admit it now.

Then there's anger. That post I made may have been made at a low, but none of it was a lie. I wouldn't say I fear it though. A little anger's good for motivation, and while a lot of anger's bad, I feel I'm a lot better prepared than all these people who will walk around holding it in, denying that they feel like ripping someone apart. You can't stop an impulse which you won't even admit.

I guess overall I feel like I'm slowly inching towards understanding my problems. But the question still bothers me as to whether I can ever understand normal people, or whether I can ever be understood. Hell, you're probably screaming "BULLSHIT!" at the screen right now.

Rightly so. You read through all that shit, you deserve a chocolate covered celebrity of your choice.

I guess I feel like I have a lot to do, which is daunting and exciting in equal measure.

Ah fuck, why did I do that? Now I need cider.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Everything is just ok. I am married, but live with my mother in law.
I have a job in my field, but its far from the position I want.
I make more money than I ever have before, but its still crap in comparison to cost of living.

In short I'm on my way to get to where I want to be, which is ok for someone who is 26.

 

[Shock and Awe]

I consider my point in life at the moment to be a launching point that could go anywhere from exactly where I want to which is to a good military college, in exceptional shape, with a pilot's license; or the exact opposite which is enlistment basically. Currently working on getting the former. However I feel good about it in general, I got a lot of things going for me at the moment.

 

[Glass Joe]

Okay, here's a fair warning. You may have noticed I haven't been such a whiny ***** in a while. Sure, there was that whole anger thread, but I'd hardly catagorise that that under "whiny". I've been making a genuine effort not to do this so much anymore. One of the main reasons I like forums is that I like to discuss things and entertain people. Nobody wants to discuss my issues for obvious reasons, and beyond laughing at my attempts to reach that "humanity" thing, it isn't funny. Of course, at the same time, my mind would have to decide to give me the biggest, most brutal beating I've had in a while. So this is gonna be, to be frank, emo. It's going to be so emo, I actually might harm myself a little. Not to be more emo, but as punishment for being emo, as an attempted aversion therapy from being emo.

Jesus, this has become a wall of text before I even got to the spoiler tag. Let's get this weak ass shit over with.

Spoiler

Well, I feel strange about my life. I'll say I've felt worse, but I've felt far better. Something that hasn't reared it's head for a while has come back in; Loneliness. Simple isolation. It feels like so long since it happened that for a while, I couldn't identify this feeling properly. This is because after all the crap I went through in college (most of it my own fault, but still, it all made me tire of people a little, especially seeming as it felt like I could never understand them), I was happy to go on summer break and be away from them for a little while. I didn't hate people like I did before, but I still felt far from them, I didn't feel too much of a need for company. Coming away from uni, I felt genuinely sad to leave. I felt genuine sadness about my friends one by one leaving as I chose a late time to finally move out for summer. Hell, sometimes I found it hard not to cry. It was all for the first time, y'see. That's the thing about having a childhood that couldn't be called as such. All your "firsts" get delayed, and nobody really seems to understand or remember how much of a big deal this kind of stuff is for the first time it happens.

For this reason, I guess, I feel lonely. And it all reminds me how far from humanity I feel. It seems strange to say, but I barely feel human at all most of the time. What is human? I would have to act like a human being. For the majority, I don't act like a normal human being. I wonder whether I even think like one. I don't look like what it seems a picture of a "human" has become. Point is, no matter what the truth in the matter is, no matter what side of that human line I'm on, I feel seperate from normal people. I feel like nobody can ever understand me, and I can't fully understand normal people.

I long for a group of misfits and outsiders. Where I'd fit. I played that "loneliness" game that was mentioned in the latest episode of extra credits, and that taught me something about myself, that I crave interaction deep down inside, but I don't even tend to bother with "normal" groups anymore. I'll rush headlong into anything out of the ordinary, in the hope that I've found others like me.

I've made friends, plenty of them, but I can't really bring myself to open up to any of them fully. I joke, I hint, but I can't confess. I guess it's for the same reason that I don't want to play the emo on here. I like to entertain people. I am no crying clown. I no longer feel it my duty to entertain, I like to. I feel ten times better about myself when I make somebody laugh. I don't wait for meetings with people in the hope that they'll cheer me up, I await meetings with people in the hope that I can cheer them up, which'll cheer me up. I can't figure out whether that's selfish or not.

I'm paranoid as well. Nothing new. But I find myself more ready to admit it now.

Then there's anger. That post I made may have been made at a low, but none of it was a lie. I wouldn't say I fear it though. A little anger's good for motivation, and while a lot of anger's bad, I feel I'm a lot better prepared than all these people who will walk around holding it in, denying that they feel like ripping someone apart. You can't stop an impulse which you won't even admit.

I guess overall I feel like I'm slowly inching towards understanding my problems. But the question still bothers me as to whether I can ever understand normal people, or whether I can ever be understood. Hell, you're probably screaming "BULLSHIT!" at the screen right now.

Rightly so. You read through all that shit, you deserve a chocolate covered celebrity of your choice.

I guess I feel like I have a lot to do, which is daunting and exciting in equal measure.

Ah fuck, why did I do that? Now I need cider.

Thanks for being so real with us dude. That wasn't emo at all. Big respect.