Hey everybody here at the Escapist...been awhile since I started a topic. Sorry this one is going to be long.
Getting to the point though, recently my mother passed away. May 20th. And my step dad passed away last year, april 2013. Now that they are both gone the house that I live in (which belonged to them) I likely won't be able to stay in any longer. They had credit card debt and it will likely be taken.
So I'm trying to get packed and moved. My family (namely my cousin and my grandmother and some of my uncle as well) has decided that I should move in with my grandmother, without ever asking me what I wanted. To the point where when I told my cousin that I wanted to find my own place, she threatened me and told me that "THEY thought that I was going to move in with my grandmother and that I was going to use my money to fix up my grandmother's place." I love my grandmother, but she's a hurtful woman who treats people like shit and doesn't consider how anyone else feels. If you disagree with her, you're stupid. If you don't do what she wants when she wants it, you're lazy and ungrateful and don't care about her. She treats me like a child and would expect me to always be either, at work, or under her watchful eye (just as a note I'm a 26 year old woman). So you can understand my non-excitement to move in with her.
To make it worse, I lived like this under my stepfather for many years already. Some years ago mother got into a severe depression and I took care of her and my stepfather for years, while going to college. Any cleaning, cooking or shopping that needed to get done, I did it. My grandmother got sick and my mother moved in with her for what was supposed to be a temporary time, forcing her out of her depression because she had to do it, but it turned into several years of her staying there and me being left to tend to my elderly, emotionally abusive step-father for several years until he finally died last year. I got a year of peace, got a job, was taking care of myself, until my mother got cancer and passed away in May. Now my family is expecting me to do it all over again, move in with someone emotionally abusive until she dies as well.
I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of taking care of people, I'm tired of helping people who only treat me like crap. I'm tired of being told what to do like I'm still 6. At this point I have given up my entire early adult life to help those who needed it, because I loved my mother and she needed me and in return she helped me, she talked me through my anxiety issues, and what I gave her I got back in return. She's gone now and I feel as if I have paid my dues and deserve to live my own life.
So, feeling threatened and alone, I decided that I wanted to use what money I have (the insurance money my mother left me, which isn't much but hopefully enough) to move to Maine (from Texas) where my best friend lives, a person who has only ever been kind and loving to me, has never threatened me, or treated me like shit. This is a person who, for 10 years, any disagreement we've had, has been resolved with compromise and no yelling. She understands my anxiety issues and I understand hers.
So what do you guys think? Am I right to want to just leave and live my own life? Or am I being a selfish person?
And more than that, if any of you guys live in the Bangor, ME area, or especially close to it, I have been searching and searching for an apartment that has a reasonable rent for a single person that accepts large dogs and cats, but I can't find it. Please help if you can.
Getting to the point though, recently my mother passed away. May 20th. And my step dad passed away last year, april 2013. Now that they are both gone the house that I live in (which belonged to them) I likely won't be able to stay in any longer. They had credit card debt and it will likely be taken.
So I'm trying to get packed and moved. My family (namely my cousin and my grandmother and some of my uncle as well) has decided that I should move in with my grandmother, without ever asking me what I wanted. To the point where when I told my cousin that I wanted to find my own place, she threatened me and told me that "THEY thought that I was going to move in with my grandmother and that I was going to use my money to fix up my grandmother's place." I love my grandmother, but she's a hurtful woman who treats people like shit and doesn't consider how anyone else feels. If you disagree with her, you're stupid. If you don't do what she wants when she wants it, you're lazy and ungrateful and don't care about her. She treats me like a child and would expect me to always be either, at work, or under her watchful eye (just as a note I'm a 26 year old woman). So you can understand my non-excitement to move in with her.
To make it worse, I lived like this under my stepfather for many years already. Some years ago mother got into a severe depression and I took care of her and my stepfather for years, while going to college. Any cleaning, cooking or shopping that needed to get done, I did it. My grandmother got sick and my mother moved in with her for what was supposed to be a temporary time, forcing her out of her depression because she had to do it, but it turned into several years of her staying there and me being left to tend to my elderly, emotionally abusive step-father for several years until he finally died last year. I got a year of peace, got a job, was taking care of myself, until my mother got cancer and passed away in May. Now my family is expecting me to do it all over again, move in with someone emotionally abusive until she dies as well.
I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of taking care of people, I'm tired of helping people who only treat me like crap. I'm tired of being told what to do like I'm still 6. At this point I have given up my entire early adult life to help those who needed it, because I loved my mother and she needed me and in return she helped me, she talked me through my anxiety issues, and what I gave her I got back in return. She's gone now and I feel as if I have paid my dues and deserve to live my own life.
So, feeling threatened and alone, I decided that I wanted to use what money I have (the insurance money my mother left me, which isn't much but hopefully enough) to move to Maine (from Texas) where my best friend lives, a person who has only ever been kind and loving to me, has never threatened me, or treated me like shit. This is a person who, for 10 years, any disagreement we've had, has been resolved with compromise and no yelling. She understands my anxiety issues and I understand hers.
So what do you guys think? Am I right to want to just leave and live my own life? Or am I being a selfish person?
And more than that, if any of you guys live in the Bangor, ME area, or especially close to it, I have been searching and searching for an apartment that has a reasonable rent for a single person that accepts large dogs and cats, but I can't find it. Please help if you can.