Did I just cheat on my girlfriend?

[Artina89]

While I don't think that flirting is cheating, you need to tell the girl you are flirting with that you are taken. She will either back off, or go after you more, but if she goes after you more, then I would stay the hell away from her because if you embark on a relationship with this local girl, then there is no guarantee that she won't still "play the field". I am not saying she will, but it wouldn't exactly be the healthiest start to a good relationship (that is if you want a relationship).

 

[captaincabbage]

Flirting is normal man, don't fret about it. You have a couple courses of action to take in this situation.
either,
A: Tell your girlfriend that it's too hard to continue.
or
B: Tell your friend that you've got a GF.

Either way, if you're going to make a decision, you've gotta figure out which person is more for you. gauge what their interests are, their likes and dislikes, their goals and finally their willingness to stay in a relationship with you.

Honestly, there is nothing worse than chasing some tail without knowing what you're getting into, let alone what you're throwing away. Trust me, I know enough on that subject.

 

[angrykirby]

you will always regret it if you don't bone this new girl, just screw everyone who wants to screw you, one day you'll be dead rotting in the ground, fuck as much as you can

 

[Gudrests]

You've got to make a decision:
a) Break up with your Girlfriend and get with this girl
b) Tell the girl you have a Girlfriend
c) Don't tell her, but don't break up with your girlfriend, have two girlfriends and see how happy your morals let you be

I'd go with a, but I only know what you told me, maybe your current girlfriend is incredible and you'll see her soon, I don't know, but I don't think long distance relationships are a good idea in general

GO WITH C DO IT DIFFRENT AREA CODES MAH BRO HAM....but yeah flirting is ok just no touchie.

Gudrests! How crude!

http://s276.photobucket.com/albums/kk16/zxpipo7/?action=view&current=OhYOU.jpg&newest=1

naa he's gotta pick one. Still not cheating till he touches. UNTIL THEN...its all good.

 

[DYin01]

Would you have made this thread if you weren't hesitant wether you were doing the right thing here?

What neatly falls under ''the rules'' of cheating or not doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about it. Does it feel like you're being honest to these girls? You know what to do.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

In the purest sense, you are not cheating so long as there has been no physical interaction (kissing, groping, sex, etc). From a slightly different perspective, cheating is less defined by these physical actions than it is emotionally and intellectually. To put that another way, if you think you cheated on your girlfriend then you almost certainly did, even if you never stepped beyond the bounds of flirting and so forth.

 

[A-D.]

The irony is that you have to ask us here, i mean the Escapist is probably not exactly known for good Relationship Advice, given that we're kinda all a bunch of nerds and geeks here but well lets try.

That you already ask us means that you are considering sleeping with the new Girl. Bad Idea. She told you point-blank that she does want to sleep with you, that implies she wants if anything only a physical thing from you, at worst its a setup for a bunch of other, not very fun things to experience.

So my advice is, tell said new Girl you are taken, then tell your real Girlfriend about it, do not mention yet that you told her you had a GF. Simply tell her that some Chick made advances on you, wait to see her first reaction. Depending on how she reacts to the news, go from there. If she inquires further into it without getting "angry" at you or otherwise go nuts, tell her that the Girl was making advances, you replied by a bit of innocent flirting and when she wanted to go further, that you told her off.

If your Girlfriend goes mad at just the news that some Girl asked you for a one night stand, call it off with her as well. Because you arent going to have fun with her either in the long run.

 

[Daveman]

You're not cheating yet, just being a bit of a prick.

Just be up front about it with them and nobody can accuse you of wrongdoing.

 

[Phasmal]

Depends. How would you feel if your girlfriend was doing the same thing?

 

[Dapz]

Flirting isn't cheating, but unless it''s jokey flirting, it almost always leads to it. The million dollar question is which girl do you prefer? If it's the closer one, then tell the long-distance one it isn't working for you, and if it's the long-distance one, softly tell the close one to back-off as you have a girlfriend.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

OK, that's not QUITE cheating, but it's as close as you can get. As for the solution, it's pretty obvious: Choose one. Break up with your girlfriend and go with the other girl, or tell the other girl you made a mistake and you're taken.


SIDE NOTE: Good god, I wish I had your problems.

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

As far as "cheating," I don't think you've really done enough for it to be considered that far, given you've only done as much as you say you have. But it seems you are headed that way quite rapidly.

I suggest you solve it by making a decision. You say you got into a "relationship" with the long-distance girl. That means a commitment. Though it is difficult because there is not as much interaction or feedback, you made a promise to her. Unless you made some stipulation that it's still sort of an open relationship, it should be no different than committing yourself with another girlfriend.

So, take your pick. Either break up with the online girl, or cement your relationship further by explaining the situation to the closer girl. Nobody here can tell you how to make that decision, either. It's all up to you.

 

[cynicalsaint1]

It really depends on the specifics of the situation.

What exactly is 'long distance'? Is this someone you've actually met? Is this someone you'll actually ever meet? Do the two of you have any future plans? Long distance relationships only work if there's at least some way the two of you can get together - otherwise its nothing but a giant dead end and the two of you are only fooling yourselves in the first place.

Also how old are you, and what do you consider to be a serious relationship?

 

[Viral_Lola]

You haven't cheated on anybody yet but you are going to have to figure out what is worth more to you.

 

[Woodsey]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, but it's long distance and it's been moving pretty slowly. (She only lately told me she loves me) but she was/is happy, and I'm happy to be with her.

Well if the first is recently, and "lately" she told you that... how is that moving slowly?

Anyway:

Agh, way too much kind-hearted advice so far, time to give it a spin...

Long distance love = 4 people happy.

Get the emotional needs from the long distance GF and the physical needs from the local girl. Voilá!

This.