Did you just call him gay?

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Nathaniel Grey

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Dec 18, 2013
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So, me and a friend are chillin' in fighting class. We're shootin' the shit. Talking about comics, movies, and tv. You know, nerd stuff. I'm in college and this kid is in middle school (Remember this). While we're talking, waiting for our turn to run a drill, a kid walks up to me and says "What is this ****** talking to you about?" I look at my friend like "Yo, you know this kid?" He says "Yeah he's in my school. He thinks he's cool." I go okay and brush it off as two friends messing with each other. Later on in the class he comes up to us again and says to me "You shouldn't be talking with him he's super gay. He's trying to touch your dick." The way he said it eluded to the fact that this wasn't friendly banter. When I turned to my friend he had a somber face. A pitiful and bleak aura befell him and I felt it. He had the look of someone who had been verbally tormented daily. And at my recognition of this I went livid. A lot can happen in a second and a lot did happen. I thought of all the things I could do to this kid, kick him in his stomach, punch him in his throat, choke the shit out of him, or simply knock his ass out. In a sea of possibilities I emerged with two. The first, grab the kid, pin him up against the wall, put my mouth next to his ear and say "if you ever say some shit like that again I'll stomp your face in." The second, do exactly the same as the first but don't put my hands on him. There were people around so I chose number two and I even toned it down a bit for the kid. I pointed at him, and tilted my body towards him with my shoulders squared. Like David and Goliath we stood there, with me looking down on David. My eyebrows were so furrowed from the angry face I was making that they looked like an upside-down V. I tilted my head 20 degrees to the side and looked him square in the eye and whispered "Yo. Chill with that." He paused for what seemed like an eternity. My guess was that he was trying to figure out what my words meant. I admit my vernacular could have been better, but I know for a fact that he felt the aura I was putting off. Cause he slowly shook his head and silently uttered "Okay."

Now I never ask escapists whether or not what I do is right or wrong because I believe that in 99% of cases, I'm right. But I am interested in how many of you would have handled that situation.

Would you have chose option 1, 2, or perhaps a different option?
 

God'sFist

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May 8, 2012
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I think the fact that you can do that is impressive I'm skinny wimpy wimp so I could give off a I will hurt you vibe but I can give the I will murder you in your sleep vibe. I'm not very intimidating so I'd probably have to pick option two and say it with the most sadistic tone possible.
 

YoungMan

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Aug 8, 2012
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Speak with a light hearted tone and basically say the same sort of thing. I always think that unless you find yourself dealing with someone actually malicious (which I doubt he was) being light hearted normally works nicely.
 

Knight Captain Kerr

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May 27, 2011
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If I was in that situation I'd call him out on it too, wouldn't get physical though. I wouldn't like people being homophobic or talking shit about my friend either, don't really care what age they are. Might also throw in something along the lines of "You know I'm bi, right?"
 

geK0

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Jun 24, 2011
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After being told he wants to touch my dick I'd just respond with "well whatever, I don't judge" and I figure the guy would call me a "fag" and that would be the end of it.
 

Nathaniel Grey

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Dec 18, 2013
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I'm suing you OP because the edge in your post actually caused me bodily harm.
Yeah I know, but that was what was going through my mind when that happened. I wanted people to understand my mindset so I decided to be extra descriptive.

geK0 said:
After being told he wants to touch my dick I'd just respond with "well whatever, I don't judge" and I figure the guy would call me a "fag" and that would be the end of it.
Why would that end it?
 

geK0

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Jun 24, 2011
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Nathaniel Grey said:
geK0 said:
After being told he wants to touch my dick I'd just respond with "well whatever, I don't judge" and I figure the guy would call me a "fag" and that would be the end of it.
Why would that end it?
I find that if you just brush somebody off when they're a dick and don't really express any concern for them and just roll your eyes they're not very inclined to persist. "your friend is a fag" "k, so?" "you're a fag" "mmhmm"

Getting all offended and defensive or retaliating just escalates the situation, and I'm generally not intimidated by people but do I really feel like putting up with that shit? not really! They're idiots, they're ass holes, they're not really relevant to society, they're really not a big deal nor are they worth my effort and time; so I brush them off.
 

Scarim Coral

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Oct 29, 2010
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I would of gone with a verbal remark (Like "Your point? So what he's gay") but a physical one is still a ok in my book since you didn't beat him up. In saying so I'm not the type who takes actions.
 

barbzilla

He who speaks words from mouth!
Dec 6, 2010
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I think your response was fine, but it was in no way the only response available. The situation allows for an almost unlimited number of ways to deal with it (humor, threats, coercion, mocking, flipping, escalation, de-escalation, ect), none of them are exclusively right or wrong and each has its own set of limitations. Given the situation, I feel that you dealt with it in the best way you knew how at the time, but that doesn't stop you from evaluating and adjusting for next time, so good on you.
 

Harpalyce

Social Justice Cleric
Mar 1, 2012
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Honestly if I were in your situation I would have pulled out the campiest camp to ever camp, fluttered my eyelashes, cocked out my hip, and gone "OOOH, I KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO ~INTERESTED~!", then chase him around asking for his Grindr and threatening to engage him in a rousing game of tonsil hockey. It's obvious the dude thinks not being hetero is the worst thing ever, so why not use that to terrorize the sod? Make kissy faces at him. Leave gifts of expensive flavored lube in his locker. Sneak up on him and moan "OOHH, YOU'RE SO TIII~IIIIGHT" right in his ear. He'll flip his shit and either be weirded out enough to leave you alone, or he'll be the obvious instigator so that when the inevitable fight breaks out you can sit there looking angelic while repeating that really, truly, it's all his fault.

This is not an actually good solution. It is, however, a potentially hilarious one.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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"How does it FEEL to know that your mother has never loved you?"

I'm not a mature person, but I'm also not an aggressive person.

If I felt a bit more charitable, I might tell him to quit being so jealous. I'm not creative under pressure.

EDIT: OOH! OOH! I KNOW! "He's trying to touch your dick." "Well, at least SOMEONE is..."
 

giles

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Feb 1, 2009
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SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I'm suing you OP because the edge in your post actually caused me bodily harm.
Ahahahaha

@OP
Your reaction was godawful. What kind of line is "yo chill with that"? If he was silent for a while, it was probably because he was trying to suppress his laughter.
If people were watching how about you confront him... you know, with words? If you go to college and can't talk some homophobic middle school bully into the ground you should definitely work on your rhetoric.
 

Something Amyss

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Dec 3, 2008
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I wonder how one becomes super gay. I'm only moderately gay. Is there a program, or a serum I take? Do I have to be bitten by a radioactive homosexual? Cosmic gays?

SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
I'm suing you OP because the edge in your post actually caused me bodily harm.
Me too. Let's go class action.

geK0 said:
After being told he wants to touch my dick I'd just respond with "well whatever, I don't judge" and I figure the guy would call me a "fag" and that would be the end of it.
Indeed. Insults tend to lose steam when you're not really interested in them.

It's not quite the same thing, but I remember this one guy who took the wind out of the sails of an entire chatroom[footnote]This was back in that bygone era where chatrooms were still widely-used things. You know, the 1850s[/footnote] by responding to "you're a racist" with something like "I am a racist. And I'm fine with that." I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember his exact wording. I don't support his opinions, but he deweaponised the insult in a way no amount of crying about social justice warriors or hurt feelings could ever do.
 

TheIceQueen

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Sep 15, 2013
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I'm glad that you dealt with it, and especially since you did it in a non-aggressive way. You've got props from me, Nathaniel Grey. I wish there were people like you when I was going to high school.
 

Danny Dowling

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May 9, 2014
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Zachary Amaranth said:
I wonder how one becomes super gay. I'm only moderately gay. Is there a program, or a serum I take? Do I have to be bitten by a radioactive homosexual? Cosmic gays?
I think it's the confusion of gayness and campness.

gay people are gay, but gay people have a spectrum of campness.
 

geK0

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Jun 24, 2011
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You could also respond with "Don't feel threatened by me, I'm not into that, he's all yours!" (or a similar comment)