Distance relationships

[Andrew Bohan]

So yeah. I'm gonna start this thread and let you all run with it. I'm currently single, in a situation where there's a girl who i've always got on really well with and previously "dated" who lives in louisianna. I'm a UK citizen and have been all my life. We got on pretty well, and still do, initially but when we "dated" I had a moment of realization that the chances of us ever meeting face to face were slim. I care for her greatly but I'm not sure I can put myself through that. She's planning to move here in a couple years but there's no guarantee it'll happen. As much as I care for her I'm really wondering should I let this one be till the if and when she moves situation is resolved or what? I'm genuinely curious escapist. What do?

 

[Kortney]

You can't have a relationship with someone you haven't met before. That's just my brief opinion on the matter.

 

[Gardenclaw]

If it's going to nag at you ... Then get on a plane and go say Hi. Have a friend from the U.K who took that chance and he's now living in Canada and still with her. Although happy ending aren't always guaranteed i guess.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

If you've seen what she looks like (through video chat or something) then I say sure go ahead with it. Just two things:

1. You need to make sure that you will be living in the same area at some point in the future.
2. She is worth waiting for until you can meet up.

I fully believe you can have a relationship online. All of my closet friends I know online.

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

Rule #1 of the internet. Don't believe anything anybody tells you unless they can prove it. If you had met her before, the only thing I can tell you is Good Luck, because long-distance relationships never work out. My girlfriend moved from CA to NY about 4 years ago and we broke up at the end of the year because we couldn't keep it going, we each moved on. However, if you've never met her, I wouldn't consider her your girlfriend and I wouldn't say you dated, merely "met" and "hit it off." However, if you care about her and there's a chance that she might move near you, I'd wait.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Question: If you've previously "dated" why did you stop "dating"?

 

[Andrew Bohan]

Question: If you've previously "dated" why did you stop "dating"?

I used the quotes because I was trying to convey an unease to using the word in the situation but we both essentially consented to a relationship. I ran for fear of never meeting this girl and already being heavily invested basically. We skype these days. Video chat. It's just what it is I guess. As much as I like her the uncertainty comes from the possibility of flushing two years of my life down the drain being tied to someone for them to change their mind on the whole moving situation when I could be out there trying at least to find someone who works for me here.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Question: If you've previously "dated" why did you stop "dating"?

I used the quotes because I was trying to convey an unease to using the word in the situation but we both essentially consented to a relationship. I ran for fear of never meeting this girl and already being heavily invested basically. We skype these days. Video chat. It's just what it is I guess. As much as I like her the uncertainty comes from the possibility of flushing two years of my life down the drain being tied to someone for them to change their mind on the whole moving situation when I could be out there trying at least to find someone who works for me here.

You could find someone where you live, date them for two years, and then they change their mind and decide they don't like you anymore (or something happens they have to move away). If you think about how it might go wrong in the future, you might miss out on something great.

 

[fuzzydrummer]

in my experience, a long distance relationship never really works. you lose the ability to actually talk face to face and you don't have the physical and emotional growth that comes from two people being together. its a nice thought, but it just doesn't work.

 

[SimuLord]

I don't know about "dating", but you can certainly get to know someone from long distance and develop one hell of a connection. Whether that connection holds up face-to-face is an open question, but it's not completely without its merits.

Then again, where I live all the women are either high on meth, living with their kids in a trailer park, covered in tattoos far beyond what even the lowest standard of "tasteful" would consider acceptable, uber-Christian, spoiled rich, or otherwise not worth my time and energy even to keep around for cheap casual sex, so if I'm to have any fulfillment at all I have to look beyond the borders of my immediate area. Thank the gods for the Internet.

 

[default]

No. No distance relationships. Never. EVER.

It's an atrocity to love. It's disgusting. How can you have an emotional conenction to someone you've never even met?

In my mind distance relationships, real, connected relationships, can never be done over distance, no matter the situation...

Give it up pal, sorry :\

 

[Flare Phoenix]

No. No distance relationships. Never. EVER.

It's an atrocity to love. It's disgusting. How can you have an emotional conenction to someone you've never even met?

In my mind distance relationships, real, connected relationships, can never be done over distance, no matter the situation...

Give it up pal, sorry :\

You remind me of a guy on the radio saying been gay is a disgrace to marriage...

 

[Andrew Bohan]

No. No distance relationships. Never. EVER.

It's an atrocity to love. It's disgusting. How can you have an emotional conenction to someone you've never even met?

In my mind distance relationships, real, connected relationships, can never be done over distance, no matter the situation...

Give it up pal, sorry :\

You remind me of a guy on the radio saying been gay is a disgrace to marriage...

Alas. Free society. He's entitled to such an opinion and I did expect the internet romance is wrong stuff to arise. At any rate. good opinions so far. Good founded ones.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Try meeting real people.

QFT, mostly. I've no doubt she's real, but yeah, try meeting some people within immediate proximity. Long distance relationships I think are a waste of time, and those ideas of "she/he'll move here someday" are you trying to pleasantly decieve yourself.

Going out and actually doing things with your significant other is a huge part of a relationship, and very healthy for you. Get some of that mate, it's heaps of fun

 

[Flare Phoenix]

I don't get why people are saying you've never met. If you've video-chatted than that's just as good meeting face-to-face in my opinion. I'm not saying long-distance relationships are easy - you have to put a lot of work into them like any relationship - but saying they never work ever is incredibly short-sighted.

 

[default]

No. No distance relationships. Never. EVER.

It's an atrocity to love. It's disgusting. How can you have an emotional conenction to someone you've never even met?

In my mind distance relationships, real, connected relationships, can never be done over distance, no matter the situation...

Give it up pal, sorry :\

You remind me of a guy on the radio saying been gay is a disgrace to marriage...

Alas. Free society. He's entitled to such an opinion and I did expect the internet romance is wrong stuff to arise. At any rate. good opinions so far. Good founded ones.

Eh, it's just my views. And I certainly hope I don't come off as a homophobe, that would be unintended...

 

[Andrew Bohan]

No. No distance relationships. Never. EVER.

It's an atrocity to love. It's disgusting. How can you have an emotional conenction to someone you've never even met?

In my mind distance relationships, real, connected relationships, can never be done over distance, no matter the situation...

Give it up pal, sorry :\

You remind me of a guy on the radio saying been gay is a disgrace to marriage...

Alas. Free society. He's entitled to such an opinion and I did expect the internet romance is wrong stuff to arise. At any rate. good opinions so far. Good founded ones.

Eh, it's just my views. And I certainly hope I don't come off as a homophobe, that would be unintended...

You didn't. I was saying as much. I said you were entitled to the view whether it was agreed with or not. Honestly any input is good input at this point, you never know what it'll take to get the lightbulb to turn on so to speak.