DnD - Dicking around FTW

[squballs1234]

One of my personal favorite things about DnD is that the possibilites to be a total asshole are endless . The other day I was at my friends house where we play DnD most of the time, and we went into a tavern. There was a dwarf at the bar drinking away his sanity so i thought he'd be a good target. I'm a Drow Wizard, so I have a couple good spells for this stuff, I used prestidgitaion to make a foul crap-like smell fill the room, I colored the dwarfs' armour on his butt go a green-ish brown color and then i used Mage Hand to throw the chair next to him at a guy that weighted about 400 pounds. The man was completly pissed and grabbed his maul, walked over to the dwarf and yelled "What in gods name are you doing you drunken idiot!?" the DM roles a bluff check for the dwarf and he says "I didn't throw no chair you fat-ass! It was that lying little ***** over there!" and the dwarf pointed to the bar maiden that was probably 16 years old and defenceless. The entire bar started beating the crap out of the bar maiden and I was sitting over at the bar laughing my ass off.

 

[Telperion]

Hm...me thinks you are in the wrong forum. Nice touch on the use of Cantrips, though.

 

[Altorin]

Hm...me thinks you are in the wrong forum.

you'd be mistaken.

This forum is about all games really.

 

[Amnestic]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

 

[Altorin]

prestidigitation abuse is nothing new, and as long as you're not disturbing the fun of the other players, then more power to you.

 

[Telperion]

This forum is about all games really.

O' my mistake then. I thought that this was an exclusively PC/Console gaming forum seeing as how there is another forum for RP / Forum Games. Of course, I never go there, so I don't really know what goes on in there.

 

[dududf]

You... You can do that in DnD... I may just have to play that game some day...

OT: That's so evil, that I can't help but show this.

 

[Hiphophippo]

Of course, I never go there, so I don't really know what goes on in there.

Horrible things, friend. Horrible things.

OT: What manner of city were you in that a Drow anything could just roll into a tavern and hang out?

 

[GreyWolf257]

I love being a dick on D&D. Sometimes I can't help it though: when I don't DM and we allow certain people to fill that space, everything we do gets led into the land of dickness.


1. Saying "I wanna fuck it." every time a bad DM points out a certain object or person.
2. Conveniently turning my character into a alcoholic/stoner anytime something retarded is being put into the game.
3. Turning my friend's Familiar (a hawk) gay (Long story, plenty of high rolls).
4. Murdering people and chopping them into little pieces while sobbing uncontrollably and eating Rainbow Sherbet.
5. Selling drugs to kids.
6. Beating the king of a certain land in a beer pong contest.
And much, much more!

 

[Hctib]

A friend in one of my campaings decided to get drunk and start a bar brawl. All he did was punch a sickly kid in the face. No one wanted to fight.

Same guy shot an helpless man in the back of the head and killed him in one shot.

Played Chaotic NEutral.

 

[Naheal]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

He would join in.

 

[gim73]

Dude, if you walked into a bar as a drow wizard in MY campeign the dwarf would get up and introduce his maul to your face WITHOUT the extra foolishness. There is no bluff for stupidity or racism. Dwarves HATE drow. If you wanted to get away with that in MY campeign, you would have to cast an illusion to make yourself look like the barmaid and the barmaid look like a drow wizard, then they really would kill a barmaid for you.

Oh, Greywolf: Option 4 should always be 'put it in'. Bonus points to whoever gets that reference.

 

[The Heik]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

Wait a tick.

Your ROGUE wouldn't stand for this? Rogues are notorious for their stab-a-dude-in-the-back-and-eat-his-lunch attitude. You be a hypocrite.

 

[Sephychu]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

Wait a tick.

Your ROGUE wouldn't stand for this? Rogues are notorious for their stab-a-dude-in-the-back-and-eat-his-lunch attitude. You be a hypocrite.

Indeed. A rogue, but he'd be going rogue to the idea of being bad.

 

[The Heik]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

Wait a tick.

Your ROGUE wouldn't stand for this? Rogues are notorious for their stab-a-dude-in-the-back-and-eat-his-lunch attitude. You be a hypocrite.

Indeed. A rogue, but he'd be going rogue to the idea of being bad.

You must confuse everyone you play with. They expect you to stab them, but you continuously don't. The tension must be killing them!

 

[Macgyvercas]

I'm sorry, but my Paladin would have to hand your ass to you for that, even though that was a pretty funny senario.

Human Paladins FTW!

 

[HT_Black]

Okay, let me take you back to the glory days of 2005:

Several friends and I were going through a 'dicking about' campaign (loads of adventures, no real story) with a shapeshifting druid, a mage, a ranger, and a barbarian. I was playing the shapeshifter-- his alignment didn't fit on the legal standing/moral standing system as much as the 'lecherous/heterosexual' scale.
It so happened that the party entered a tavern in the ass-end of nowhere, and my character bespied a busty lady in the far corner; at which point he transfigured himself into a snake and slithered up her blouse.

There were Lulz to be had by all.

 

[Sephychu]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

Wait a tick.

Your ROGUE wouldn't stand for this? Rogues are notorious for their stab-a-dude-in-the-back-and-eat-his-lunch attitude. You be a hypocrite.

Indeed. A rogue, but he'd be going rogue to the idea of being bad.

You must confuse everyone you play with. They expect you to stab them, but you continuously don't. The tension must be killing them!

They'd be wondering why you didn't stab them, then just when you think they're friends with you, you'd go totally rogue against that and kill them. Then you'd bury them and read their eulogy.

I'm confusing myself here.

 

[Amnestic]

Bloody evil doers. My rogue would not stand for this malarky.

Wait a tick.

Your ROGUE wouldn't stand for this? Rogues are notorious for their stab-a-dude-in-the-back-and-eat-his-lunch attitude. You be a hypocrite.

I play Chaotic Good. I don't have much stock for laws or rules or whatever, being a rogue and all, but I'm essentially a decent person who's not a huge fan of people getting killed for no reason other than shits and giggles.

 

[snakevin]

There was this one campaign, where these raiders were at our camp, stealing all of our stuff, and killing some of my companions, and then they got to my tent, and slit my throat. Little did they know, I was a schizophrenic half-orc barbarian. I insta-raged, smashed the guys head with my bare hands. My neck was bleeding badly, so I held my throat, as I went to the other guys. I grabbed one, stuck my thumbs in his ribcage, and tore a huge hole in chest, so I wore him as a hat. I then grabbed the next raider, shoved my hand up his ass, smashed him head first into the ground, and made him a makeshift puppet. I then scared away all the other raiders with my puppet show, and then I prayed to my god, and since I was schizophrenic, the DM made it so it seemed I was talking to him, but I was actually talking to myself. he then healed the wound in my neck, and I lived to see nother day. It was a fun campaign.