dnd, really dumb barbarian,

[Erana]

You GM isn't doing it right if he's letting you have a character that's barely sentient. Also you'd barely have the ability to scratch your nose, let alone Craft, or Perform things.

What if it is an intentionally silly game?

Minmax [http://goblinscomic.wikia.com/wiki/Minmax] from Goblins is pretty amusing. I know its only a webcomic based on DnD, but I do think it could be done with humorous effect if the believability of the campaign wasn't questioned too much. That being said, there probably WOULD be some sort of adjustments to be made for the sake of game mechanics working properly. 2 is just... a little low.

 

[tofulove]

str 20

How the hell did you roll a 20 on 3 six-sided dice? It's either that, or you're playing one of those newfangled rule-sets.

does no one read, using d20 dice, and it was 18 mod by the +str from half orc

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

str 20

How the hell did you roll a 20 on 3 six-sided dice? It's either that, or you're playing one of those newfangled rule-sets.

does no one read, using d20 dice, and it was 18 mod by the +str from half orc

Ok then. Why are you using a d20 to decide your stats? And where the hell did you say that in your op?

 

[Illesdan]

str 20

How the hell did you roll a 20 on 3 six-sided dice? It's either that, or you're playing one of those newfangled rule-sets.

does no one read, using d20 dice, and it was 18 mod by the +str from half orc

Frankly speaking, if I were saddled with those stats, I would have used dex and cha as my dump stats instead of int and wis. Strong characters very rarely are dexterous and barbarians are rarely pretty.

I see what you guys are going for by using the d20 method; my group did that for one session for the giggles of it, but that was as far as it went. Traditional rolling may seem like you're going to end up with a 'blah' character, but I think people lose sight of two things:

1) An 'average' human person would have straight 8's across the board for stats.

2) It's not about the numbers, but how you play the character.

 

[Thomas Hirst]

Its like youve actually described my d&d character. Keith Jackson the barbarian orc. A retarded scoundrel with an unatural affinity for perfect 20 intelligence checks and incredible success with the pick up line... keen? His first act when brought into the world was to beat up a halfling for money then trying to steal said halflings clothes.

 

[Meteor4118]

Illegal stats, Sentient beings can't go below 3 in intelligence regardless of modifiers. Even a half-orcs -2 can't bring it below 3. That's stated in the rules. And as people have said you would get a minimum of one skill point a level, same as hit points (otherwise those low con wizards with (1d4-1/2/3/ or god forbid 4) Still get one hit point a level, regardless.

 

[FrostyChick]

Isn't there a rule in 3.5 that says if ability drain takes your character to zero or less in any stat then it's insta-kill?
Just looking for some clarification on that.
Because if that's the case, you're boned versus spell casters, Ilithids, Thought Eaters or any other strange big gribbly that can drain intelligence or wisdom.

Also, your character lacks the intelligence to be considered a sentient being, as in you can't understand or speak even common. You're only forms of communication are pointing and grunting. Not to mention intelligence can't go below 3 during character generation for any reason, even racial penalties. Getting to 3 would allow you to speak, albeit just one or two words to a sentence and with horrible child-like pronunciation.
I.e. your character is Hodor.

 

[cthulhuspawn82]

Isn't there a rule in 3.5 that says if ability drain takes your character to zero or less in any stat then it's insta-kill?
Just looking for some clarification on that.

It's different for each stat, your body gives out and dies at 0 con, 0 strength you are paralyzed, and at a 0 charisma or wisdom (cant remember witch)you become a gibbering fool who cant take any action.

 

[BiscuitWheels]

I had a friend had a barb with around 3 strength. His magic axe was smarter than he was and he got the party attacked when he attempted to eat the wheel's on an evil magician's wagon.

This was also the same friend who played a Vampire and would get by blood by running people over with a Camero and licking the blood off the street.

 

[FrostyChick]

It's different for each stat, your body gives out and dies at 0 con, 0 strength you are paralyzed, and at a 0 charisma or wisdom (cant remember witch)you become a gibbering fool who cant take any action.

Ah well, he'll still be screwed over by magical creatures with ability drain, most of those have special lethal effects added on top of standard draining.

 

[Nathan Crumpler]

It's different for each stat, your body gives out and dies at 0 con, 0 strength you are paralyzed, and at a 0 charisma or wisdom (cant remember witch)you become a gibbering fool who cant take any action.

Ah well, he'll still be screwed over by magical creatures with ability drain, most of those have special lethal effects added on top of standard draining.

I like to think that if your con goes to zero or less, your body turns to dust and gets carried off by the wind.

 

[WyndWalker02]

I guess the issue I'd see with this (with experience DMing for 3.0/3.5 since they were first released, so a decade or so) is that I'd have to rule that a character with a 2 intelligence can't even take any feats that would require anything beyond animal instinct to use. Endurance, Weapon Finesse, etc would all be ok, but feats like Weapon Focus, Combat Expertise, or most others would be incomprehensible to you. Not to mention... with a 2 INT, your character has the brains of a wolf or smart moose. I have yet to see one capable of using a weapon it doesn't grow itself, meaning that if I were your DM, your hopelessly brainless barbarian wouldn't have the mental capacity to use a sword, axe, or spear. You would be spending your game time punching things, kicking things, and trying to bite them, all of which have very little effect either due to their design (the human jaw and included teeth are not good weapons) or because of a lack of training.

Good luck with it, though I can't imagine enjoying a character that can't even understand words beyond 'sit', 'stay', or 'down'. It'd just get boring taking orders (dog commands?) from the other players all the time.

i disagree with the weapon usage, they have no thumbs, my guy does, feat limitation does make since thou. and a dog could be train to understands simple commands, so in turn crunk (guys name) can to.

I have yet to see a monkey that's capable of properly wielding a sword or axe. They have thumbs, but no sentient level of intelligence. With the description you've given, your "character" is effectively an overgrown simian dragging a sharp piece of metal around like a caveman's club, just less useful.

 

[tofulove]

I guess the issue I'd see with this (with experience DMing for 3.0/3.5 since they were first released, so a decade or so) is that I'd have to rule that a character with a 2 intelligence can't even take any feats that would require anything beyond animal instinct to use. Endurance, Weapon Finesse, etc would all be ok, but feats like Weapon Focus, Combat Expertise, or most others would be incomprehensible to you. Not to mention... with a 2 INT, your character has the brains of a wolf or smart moose. I have yet to see one capable of using a weapon it doesn't grow itself, meaning that if I were your DM, your hopelessly brainless barbarian wouldn't have the mental capacity to use a sword, axe, or spear. You would be spending your game time punching things, kicking things, and trying to bite them, all of which have very little effect either due to their design (the human jaw and included teeth are not good weapons) or because of a lack of training.

Good luck with it, though I can't imagine enjoying a character that can't even understand words beyond 'sit', 'stay', or 'down'. It'd just get boring taking orders (dog commands?) from the other players all the time.

i disagree with the weapon usage, they have no thumbs, my guy does, feat limitation does make since thou. and a dog could be train to understands simple commands, so in turn crunk (guys name) can to.

I have yet to see a monkey that's capable of properly wielding a sword or axe. They have thumbs, but no sentient level of intelligence. With the description you've given, your "character" is effectively an overgrown simian dragging a sharp piece of metal around like a caveman's club, just less useful.

whens the last time you seen a ape try to use one. i seen them throw poop, if they can throw poop they can throw other stuff than poop. and if they have the motor skills of throwing, they can do the motor skills of swinging there arms with out releasing what there swinging about.

replace poop with large metal club thing = profit.

 

[WyndWalker02]

Spoiler

I guess the issue I'd see with this (with experience DMing for 3.0/3.5 since they were first released, so a decade or so) is that I'd have to rule that a character with a 2 intelligence can't even take any feats that would require anything beyond animal instinct to use. Endurance, Weapon Finesse, etc would all be ok, but feats like Weapon Focus, Combat Expertise, or most others would be incomprehensible to you. Not to mention... with a 2 INT, your character has the brains of a wolf or smart moose. I have yet to see one capable of using a weapon it doesn't grow itself, meaning that if I were your DM, your hopelessly brainless barbarian wouldn't have the mental capacity to use a sword, axe, or spear. You would be spending your game time punching things, kicking things, and trying to bite them, all of which have very little effect either due to their design (the human jaw and included teeth are not good weapons) or because of a lack of training.

Good luck with it, though I can't imagine enjoying a character that can't even understand words beyond 'sit', 'stay', or 'down'. It'd just get boring taking orders (dog commands?) from the other players all the time.

i disagree with the weapon usage, they have no thumbs, my guy does, feat limitation does make since thou. and a dog could be train to understands simple commands, so in turn crunk (guys name) can to.

I have yet to see a monkey that's capable of properly wielding a sword or axe. They have thumbs, but no sentient level of intelligence. With the description you've given, your "character" is effectively an overgrown simian dragging a sharp piece of metal around like a caveman's club, just less useful.

whens the last time you seen a ape try to use one. i seen them throw poop, if they can throw poop they can throw other stuff than poop. and if they have the motor skills of throwing, they can do the motor skills of swinging there arms with out releasing what there swinging about.

replace poop with large metal club thing = profit.

Except that DnD characters are supposed to be trained warriors, to one extent or another. To justify being allowed the base attack bonus of a barbarian, you can't just be flailing your arms in the manner of a monkey flinging it's feces. That's not trained fighting it's being a four-year-old.

 

[Kahunaburger]

So you're basically playing a heavily-armed gorilla? Awesome. Although being unable to speak or understand language might be a bit of a handicap.