I'm a DnDer! Or something, I'm not sure what the adjective would be for that. I play mostly online now because coordinating 5 schedules is ridiculously hard.
4e is way better than 3.5. It takes the complicated ruleset of the previous edition, packs it up into a nice little box and kicks it through the rafters. (Penny Arcade, Gabe, news 5/30/2008)
Back on Page 1 I saw someone asking what kind of new rules veterans had made up, and a few that I like to use as a DM to add realism are:
1. Vitality/Wound system. Vitality damage is treated as a near miss; adds both realism (you get shot, you go down) and a certain cinematic feel that I am always striving towards.
2. Armor as damage conversion. The AC bonus of armor, instead of making you harder to hit, converts damage you take from lethal into nonlethal. Thus, if you get beat up a lot it may not kill you but it will knock you out.
3. Don't tell the players how much total vitality or wound points they have, and don't tell them how much damage they take. I do tell them their basic bodytype, e.g. fragile, hardy, average, superhuman, pathetic, ect. You would be surprised how much your players calm down and observe before running into a situation when they only know approximately how much damage they can take.