Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

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Elurindel

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It sounds like a horrible overreaction to me. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of the poor-oppressed-minority-groups-who-absolutely-have-to-be different-but-don't-you-dare-think-of treating-them-differently, have forgotten that "equality" doesn't mean "treating their oppressors like shit in return". That's no way to achieve equality. All it serves is to create more hatred.

loremazd said:
nomis101uk said:
James Joseph Emerald said:
But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss.

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.
Listen, its as simple as this. Your personal distaste for seeing men kiss is irrelevent. They have a fundamental RIGHT, and so any disgust you have is entirely YOUR problem and you have no right to intervene and ask them to stop just because YOU can't deal with it. Ask yourself this question: Would you have had a problem if it were a hetrosexual couple in front of you? Would your friend have asked them to stop? Now I happen to think there is a time and a place for making out, and sometimes, regardless of sexuality its just anti-social. If however the answer is "no", and you would not have interrupted them making out if they were straight, then you are simply discriminating against homosexuality. Its as black and white as that. And no...he didn't deserve to be spat on.
That is so completely untrue on every single level. You have no right to -harm- a person for being themselves. You do -not- have the right to do whatever you wish in public and not be critisized for it. The fat guy eating a huge meal has the right to eat it, but no protection from anyone giving him their opinion that he shouldn't. Same with the Old man wearing a speedo at the beach. Expecting for the entire world to act like what is odd or unusual is normal and expected is simply insanity.

Life isn't simple or black and white. You can champion the cause of gay rights in court and think homosexual displays of affection is disgusting. And in the case of PDA, you can sure as hell bet that snogging couples get told to knock it off -all- the time no matter what the gender is because it is a distraction.
I have to agree with you here. There's a huge difference between having the right to your opinions and actions, and protection from being criticized for your opinions and actions.

For instance, in response to the previous poster, if somebody were to be disgusted by a couple, straight, gay, lesbian or otherwise making out in the cinema in front of them, then that person would have every right to tell them to knock it off. Rights to your opinion work both ways, and are not there to protect minorities, but are there to protect everyone.

I'll get off my soapbox now.
 

ShiningOmega

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If the theater was almost empty, you weren't seeing Inception. You must have been watching Eclipse. Come to think of it, that would explain the gay couple.
 

Withall

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Yeah... doesn't matter who makes out in a cinema, it's just rude to do it "in plain sight". Me personally, homosexuals making out is very uncomfortable- in my eyes, it isn't "per social norm".

The gay who spat in your friend's face, though, probably were one of those militant homosexuals who would gladly sacrifice heterosexual norm in favor of their own, and ONLY THEIR norm.

Disclaimer: If anyone decides to label me anti-homosexual for saying that, instead of trying to make me shut up completely, point me in a direction that details (in a proper and clean manner) HOW am I wrong in that statement, please?
 

Withall

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[/quote]

Listen, its as simple as this. Your personal distaste for seeing men kiss is irrelevent. They have a fundamental RIGHT, and so any disgust you have is entirely YOUR problem and you have no right to intervene and ask them to stop just because YOU can't deal with it. Ask yourself this question: Would you have had a problem if it were a hetrosexual couple in front of you? Would your friend have asked them to stop? Now I happen to think there is a time and a place for making out, and sometimes, regardless of sexuality its just anti-social. If however the answer is "no", and you would not have interrupted them making out if they were straight, then you are simply discriminating against homosexuality. Its as black and white as that. And no...he didn't deserve to be spat on.[/quote]

That is so completely untrue on every single level. You have no right to -harm- a person for being themselves. You do -not- have the right to do whatever you wish in public and not be critisized for it. The fat guy eating a huge meal has the right to eat it, but no protection from anyone giving him their opinion that he shouldn't. Same with the Old man wearing a speedo at the beach. Expecting for the entire world to act like what is odd or unusual is normal and expected is simply insanity.

Life isn't simple or black and white. You can champion the cause of gay rights in court and think homosexual displays of affection is disgusting. And in the case of PDA, you can sure as hell bet that snogging couples get told to knock it off -all- the time no matter what the gender is because it is a distraction.[/quote]

I have to agree with you here. There's a huge difference between having the right to your opinions and actions, and protection from being criticized for your opinions and actions.

For instance, in response to the previous poster, if somebody were to be disgusted by a couple, straight, gay, lesbian or otherwise making out in the cinema in front of them, then that person would have every right to tell them to knock it off. Rights to your opinion work both ways, and are not there to protect minorities, but are there to protect everyone.

I'll get off my soapbox now.[/quote]

Agreed, Elundriel, much agreed.
 

Grey_Focks

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Atticus113 said:
Anyone who would be bored enough to make out during Inception should get punched anyway
I'm pretty sure this is /thread.

OT: I already posted on the matter, but I'll just say it again. If any couple, regardless of sexual orientation, makes out with their partner in the theater, I have every right to tell them to knock if off. It's just rude to everyone else around you, and really just pretty damn selfish.

And, ofcourse, if anyone ever spat in my face I would take that as them saying "Murder me! I don't want to live anymore! Kill me NOW, dammit!"
 

2012 Wont Happen

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People making out in the middle of a movie where they are visible is distracting. If you wanna do that, thats what the far right and left corners of the back row are for. And then only if the theater isn't at all full.

Your friend was perfectly justified.
 

zhoominator

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I don't really think it was the place of your friend to tell them not to kiss in the cinema, after all it's a thing that many couples do. Did he deserve to be spat on? Of course not, though I think it would have been acceptable for one of the lads to tell him to piss off, I would've done if I was kissing a date in the cinema and somebody said that to me.
 

2012 Wont Happen

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ShiningOmega said:
If the theater was almost empty, you weren't seeing Inception. You must have been watching Eclipse. Come to think of it, that would explain the gay couple.
I saw Inception the other day and very few people were there. It was nice. Didn't have to deal with people explaining to each other what was going on.

Oh, and don't you think thats just a bit insulting? I mean, why pin gay people with such an awful movie? What did they do wrong?

XD

Atticus113 said:
Anyone who would be bored enough to make out during Inception should get punched anyway
I highly agree with this statement.
 

Bobsonnn

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Jul 12, 2009
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If they were at a movie, and kept making out, your mate was on the higher ground, regardless of gender or sexuality

P.s. how do you get bored enough to make out during INCEPTION?
That movie is the best headfuck film in quite a while
 

WakeTheDead1

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its easy for papers to roll it out as an anti-gay thing but truth be told id be just as annoyed if a straight couple were there going at it in front of me when i was watchin a film id paid extortionate cinema prices to see
 

Gareth Owen

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Jul 28, 2010
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I mean the thing that annoys me is the fact one of them spat at the friend. Its such a childish and immature thing to do. I am a gay man and have been to the cinema with my partner and doesn't end up like something from Attack of the Facehuggers and I appreciate everyone not having their face devoured by their significant other.

What I think is ok, is holding hands and putting your arm round them during a film as this would not distract people. Plus you pay to watch the film, if you wanna start making out during a film put on a DVD at home.

Overall its the time and place that matters. Plus it doesn't matter if they were a straight or gay/lesbian couple, its the fact that if it is distracting people then they should stop.
 

similar.squirrel

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On one hand, I suppose you were entitled to ask them to desist. But as you said, the cinema was fairly empty so there must have been ample space to move somewhere else.
Let's face it, making out during movies is just something that happens, and to object to it is sort of futile.
Add to that the complex that many homosexuals have due to discrimination that's still ongoing and I can see why this got out of hand.

But I don't think your friend deserved to be spat on, if he was genuinely being polite.
 

2012 Wont Happen

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Mother Yeti said:
Scobie said:
The way you tell it, it certainly sounds like your friend was in the right. I'll reserve any judgement stronger than that, because I wasn't there and don't know what the exact situation was.
Mother Yeti said:
James Joseph Emerald said:
But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss. I don't think I'm really alone on this. It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. It's just... eew. It's not something I have any control over, it just disturbs me on a fundamental level. People have been throwing slogans around like "homosexuality isn't a choice, but homophobia is", and I'd have to say that if being a bit disgusted by men kissing is homophobic, then it really isn't a choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose to be disgusted by anything.
Your disgust at seeing men kiss is homophobia, no other way to look at it (note that you said men specifically, not women or heterosexual couples). As for that slogan, it doesn't mean that people choose to be homophobic to begin with (like most biases, homophobia is a product of societal and cultural attitudes), but rather that people can choose to NOT be homophobic once they've been made aware of their biases.
I disagree. There is a divide between feeling, thought and action. Anyone can decide, intellectually, that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and choose to act accordingly by opposing discrimination against homosexuals. But even someone who knows there's nothing wrong with something can still feel uncomfortable about it. Example: I have no problem with my friends who are in a relationship making out with each other, but I don't want to them to do it in front of me. I've seen plenty of people express worry that reactions like this makes them homophobic, to which I would say that the mere fact that they're worrying about it suggests they're probably not. Emotional reaction does not imply intellectual disapproval. It is, essentially, how you think you should act on your feelings that determines whether you are homophobic or not.
I see what you're saying but I don't think it applies here. To me at least, the OP reads as pretty homophobic. It's not like he says that he considers himself tolerant and open-minded but PDA in general makes him uncomfortable. He starts out with a variation on the old theme of "I don't mind gay people as long as they don't act 'gay'" and then goes on to say that he feels "creeped out" and "disturbed" at the sight of two men kissing. These seem like pretty conscious, and pretty changeable, attitudes to me.
I am disgusted by the site of spiders. I don't have any reason to not like spiders. Rationally, I know that they are very good to have around as they stay out of your way and kill nuisances like mosquitoes and gnats. However, the site of the little eight-legged fellas is simply revolting to me. Propose to me a solution that could cause me to not hate the way that spiders look. I will save you time on thinking of one and give you the solution to the puzzle- there is no way to make me feel better about spiders.

People have certain things that, for some reason or another, are ingrained in their minds as disgusting. I personally don't have any problem with guys kissing. It seems a bit out of place, but thats just because of how infrequently you see it where I live. I'm not bothered by it when I do see it. However, to some people, even though they do not discriminate, this could simply be something that visually disgusts them. Everyone has them.

Oh, and as for the "I don't mind gay people as long as they don't act 'gay'", this sounds homophobic, until you think about it. The idea of a gay person, as a stereotype, is really quite annoying. However, like most stereotypes, most gay people do not at all fit into this stereotype, which truly tolerant people tend to understand. Saying that you don't like the gay stereotype isn't saying you don't like gay people as much as it is saying that you don't like annoying people, because it is an annoying stereotype and the vast, vast, vast majority of gay people do not act at all in that manner.
 

Pearwood

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Ugh public displays of affection generally make me feel a bit uneasy, I'd have told them to stop as well. I know gay people can be a bit touchy if they feel discriminated against but honestly snogging your partner in a cinema then acting offended when someone tells you to stop?
 

Sir Prize

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I'm with your friend on this one.

As a general rule I don't think people should do the whole 'full on full of passion' kisses in public, then get mad when people call them out of it. It's not something anyone else wants to see, no matter what kind of couple it is and to spit on someone is just a really disgusting thing to do, no matter what the reason.
 
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Yeslek Ssomllur said:
I'd like to point out that acts of being emo or a political extremist are both wrong and immoral (halfway joking), and being gay is pretty similar to being striaght. It more analogous to people flaunting heterosexuality (e.g. Holy shit that chick is so hot! *dudes nod in agreement*), which people have much less of a problem with, generally. So if you have a big problem with people saying "look at me, I'm so gay!" but are just fine with people going on about so and so actress and banging her brains out, you are actually being intolerant.
Well, our gay friend says stuff like that all the time, especially if the male actor in question is considered to be an icon of manliness ("I'd let King Leonidas impale me with his spear all night long." "Aww, dude, WTF? I'm going to be stuck with that image now."), and I've never minded that. It's because it serves a purpose: it's meant to be funny, and usually it is.

What I meant by people going "look at me, I'm so gay!" is people who build their entire personality -- their purpose in life -- around a cliché stereotype they gleaned from Ugly Betty and Project Runway. They're just drones, built in the image of a media-driven cultural fad, who feel they need to be more obnoxious than everyone else, just to stand out.

I'm fine with gays like my friend, who are cool people that don't take themselves too seriously. He's proud to be gay, and if anyone attacked him for it, I'd be right there by his side. But I can't help but find the whole subculture to be a little too much. (That "I'm the only gay in the village" sketch by Little Britain really nails down what I'm talking about)
 

The_ModeRazor

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Heh, movie brawls are fun.
I know this one gay guy, and he's a reasonably miserable bastard. We constantly mess with him, and I'm pretty sure that while he's too much of a spineless wimp to just commit suicide, he's goinig to be a seriously socially retarded adult. A shame, but who cares. (noone)
 

Daverson

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Of course not! If a heterosexual couple are making out in public it's not considered rude to ask them to stop. In fact, it's socially expected. It makes me sick that people moan about being second class citizens, go on about "equality", then expect to be treated better than everyone else.