This morning I was coming down a long-ish flight of narrow stairs in my local Starbucks. There was no-one else there until I was a good way down, though I became aware of someone standing at the bottom as I neared it. She was standing there with a mug of coffee in her hands. However, I was rather in a world-of-my-own and hadn't noticed her much. As I passed her and turned the corner, however, I heard her say "Thank-you" loudly, and clearly sarcastically. I was so surprised I turned and asked her what she thought I had done wrong. She said "I expected you to say thank-you", presumably because she had done me some kind of favour by waiting for me to reach the end.
However, there was no way she could possibly have gone up the stairs anyway with me already at least half-way down, especially holding a full mug of hot coffee, therefore what had she done for me and why should I say thank-you? She hadn't been courteous, she had had no alternative but to wait for me to clear the stairs.
I agree that it would have been nice, if not obligatory, to have perhaps nodded to her on the way down to show some awareness, if I hadn't been dreaming. Perhaps also, it would have cost nothing to say thanks even if quite unnecessary. However, would you agree that she had no particular reason to expect thanks, and that on balance, it is ten times ruder to behave as she did with this sarcastic and really quite aggressive remark.
Something similar has happened when I'm pushing my bicycle through a narrow passageway near where I live. On occasion, I have been nearing the end of it when a pedestrian appears at the end and has to wait a few seconds for me to clear it, because they couldn't possibly enter the passage otherwise. Again, on occasion I have heard a sarcastic "thank-you" as if they have done me some kind of huge favour, when the fact is I had priority because I was there first, by a very long way.
Most of the time, I have decided to say thank-you anyway just avoid any conflict and it's true it doesn't cost anything. However, it annoys me that some people seem to almost aggressively expect this. It seems to me any rudeness is theirs.
However, there was no way she could possibly have gone up the stairs anyway with me already at least half-way down, especially holding a full mug of hot coffee, therefore what had she done for me and why should I say thank-you? She hadn't been courteous, she had had no alternative but to wait for me to clear the stairs.
I agree that it would have been nice, if not obligatory, to have perhaps nodded to her on the way down to show some awareness, if I hadn't been dreaming. Perhaps also, it would have cost nothing to say thanks even if quite unnecessary. However, would you agree that she had no particular reason to expect thanks, and that on balance, it is ten times ruder to behave as she did with this sarcastic and really quite aggressive remark.
Something similar has happened when I'm pushing my bicycle through a narrow passageway near where I live. On occasion, I have been nearing the end of it when a pedestrian appears at the end and has to wait a few seconds for me to clear it, because they couldn't possibly enter the passage otherwise. Again, on occasion I have heard a sarcastic "thank-you" as if they have done me some kind of huge favour, when the fact is I had priority because I was there first, by a very long way.
Most of the time, I have decided to say thank-you anyway just avoid any conflict and it's true it doesn't cost anything. However, it annoys me that some people seem to almost aggressively expect this. It seems to me any rudeness is theirs.
