I see what you're saying and I agree. If the person isn't fun to be around, I won't be around him. It doesn't matter if the person is mentally ill, had a fucked up childhood, or woke up deciding to be a prick. If I don't like them, I don't like them.
Do the mentally/physically challenged implicitly deserve my friendship?
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I accept them has people, yes. But by accepting them has people, I'm treating them to the same rules every normal person gets from me. So if they annoy me or get on my nerves I'm not going to like them or be their friend. There are two sides to acceptance, acceptance isn't always a good thing in certain perspectives.
Beyond being polite, nobody "Deserves" other people's friendship. So I agree, if you do not want to hang out with a special ed kid, don't.
You should of course not choose to socialize with people whom you find yourself incapable of liking, no matter what society expects. To do so would merely be dishonest to them and to yourself.
Quite a few of these people would need some sort of special persistence - at the very least initially - to get to know, and if you just don't feel up for it, then that's a personality trait which is as little blameworthy as the conditions which makes them a challenge to approach and be with.
I see nothing wrong in society commending those people who actually will expend extra effort to make the lives of the socially inept better, but to not do so could never be condemned.
It perhaps sounds a little rough to say that you "don't like" people with Aspergers etc. when we act inept though. There's easily a hint of condemnation in such phrase, especially without the word "subjectively" added in. While perhaps euphemic, simply saying that you can't/won't tackle the inherent problems of social interaction with them (a perfectly legitimate view) would probably be a better phrasing.
Quite a few of these people would need some sort of special persistence - at the very least initially - to get to know, and if you just don't feel up for it, then that's a personality trait which is as little blameworthy as the conditions which makes them a challenge to approach and be with.
I see nothing wrong in society commending those people who actually will expend extra effort to make the lives of the socially inept better, but to not do so could never be condemned.
It perhaps sounds a little rough to say that you "don't like" people with Aspergers etc. when we act inept though. There's easily a hint of condemnation in such phrase, especially without the word "subjectively" added in. While perhaps euphemic, simply saying that you can't/won't tackle the inherent problems of social interaction with them (a perfectly legitimate view) would probably be a better phrasing.
The OP has an opinion which is understandable.
Most of the time we are drawn to people with similar qualities to ourselves. Do we like the same things? Are we of a similar level of intellect? Do we have a similar sense of humour? Race, Gender, Sexuality, Age or Disability shouldn't factor into that but we all know sadly they still do in some cases.
I can only assume the OP is still in education because what he is describing was only ever an issue there. We had several kids with disorders at school and whilst no one was a dick to them, their behaviour made it difficult for anyone to actually want to hang around with them. One of them was overly touchy feely, he'd stand right next to you or an inch infront of you. They were also very loud and our interests were generally different. To say you should be friends with someone you don't find yourself compatible with is wrong. It is not their fault, but to carry on a friendship with them would simply be deceiving and could hurt them worse in the long run.
Infact that annoys me more, when a group of people "befriends" a disabled person then treats that person like the groups *****, manipulating them to do things that are wrong so they all get a chuckle out of it. The person in question doesn't understand he's being treated like shit, he just thinks he finally has friends and is trying to impress them. I'd rather people had the viewpoint of the OP than do that to someone.
Most of the time we are drawn to people with similar qualities to ourselves. Do we like the same things? Are we of a similar level of intellect? Do we have a similar sense of humour? Race, Gender, Sexuality, Age or Disability shouldn't factor into that but we all know sadly they still do in some cases.
I can only assume the OP is still in education because what he is describing was only ever an issue there. We had several kids with disorders at school and whilst no one was a dick to them, their behaviour made it difficult for anyone to actually want to hang around with them. One of them was overly touchy feely, he'd stand right next to you or an inch infront of you. They were also very loud and our interests were generally different. To say you should be friends with someone you don't find yourself compatible with is wrong. It is not their fault, but to carry on a friendship with them would simply be deceiving and could hurt them worse in the long run.
Infact that annoys me more, when a group of people "befriends" a disabled person then treats that person like the groups *****, manipulating them to do things that are wrong so they all get a chuckle out of it. The person in question doesn't understand he's being treated like shit, he just thinks he finally has friends and is trying to impress them. I'd rather people had the viewpoint of the OP than do that to someone.
I agree with you mostly, however you could have phrased a bit less like a jerk and gotten a lot more sympathy.
The worst being that my best friends sister has down syndrome, and as much as I try to accept her it's always a bit...odd to be near her. I guess I've gotten more used it over the years.
The worst being that my best friends sister has down syndrome, and as much as I try to accept her it's always a bit...odd to be near her. I guess I've gotten more used it over the years.
tofulove said:
I am going to tell you right now that my autistic brother wouldn't be able to sit an IQ test far less score well in it. So I don't know what version of the diagnosing process you are familiar with but it isn't the same one we use here, if anything the high-IQ you are on about would be another piece of the jigsaw.
There is a lot of evidence for Bill having an ASD but there is also evidence against, like I said 50-65 would be my estimate. Its now probably too late in his life to properly diagnose because he will have developed coping strategies.
i would like to make it clear for the record, people with disability should not be treated differently, i my self never had special treatment as a kid, and im better for it. peer pressure is good for kids, kids who do not get much of it are much more likely to have social problems as a adult, same time you should not go out of your way to be ass hole ether. although it is good to still deal with them, but to make your opinions clear, a person can not learn if hes shut out completely, but a person cant learn if he has special treatment. as a kid people tolerated my presence, but did not put up with my bull shit. and through trial and error have become considerably more functioning than most.
But that's just the thing: I don't believe that it is acceptable to not date a girl just because she's black.summerof2010 said:
Dude, honestly, I don't know how you have friends. It makes me angry just thinking about ever meeting you in person.
I just can't talk to people like you and not feel a little bit sick.
let me clarify, the iq test is part of diagnosing high function autism. low functioning lack the skills necessary to complete the test, but are intelligent, despite the way they look.SuccessAndBiscuts said:
and i speak only for my experience of being diagnosed.
I know exactly what you are trying to say, I hate to sound like a bigot, but I can't stand that disabled people are allowed to run around and say and do whatever they want and its just ok.
Its like that Family Guy episode where Peter found out he was retarded and walked into the woman's restroom and looked at women on the toilet. They screamed, he said he was retarded, and they went "awww =3".
I was in a video rental store a long time ago and had a disabled person walk up to me while I was in line and start chatting it up with me, and his mom just watched like "awww, he is making friends" instead of "leave the man alone". I wasn't mean to him and I talked back as I am.... I wouldn't say nice, just neutral, to everyone, however, I don't want to talk to anyone, normal or handicapped. And I found it a little insulting that I HAD to talk to him or else I would be the bad guy.
I feel the same way about babies and most children, these pants crapping, crying, drooling things that people think are cute and you should be nice to. I feel the same way as I do a baby at a movie theater, if it can't stfu and leave everyone alone, then you should stay at home.
Its like that Family Guy episode where Peter found out he was retarded and walked into the woman's restroom and looked at women on the toilet. They screamed, he said he was retarded, and they went "awww =3".
I was in a video rental store a long time ago and had a disabled person walk up to me while I was in line and start chatting it up with me, and his mom just watched like "awww, he is making friends" instead of "leave the man alone". I wasn't mean to him and I talked back as I am.... I wouldn't say nice, just neutral, to everyone, however, I don't want to talk to anyone, normal or handicapped. And I found it a little insulting that I HAD to talk to him or else I would be the bad guy.
I feel the same way about babies and most children, these pants crapping, crying, drooling things that people think are cute and you should be nice to. I feel the same way as I do a baby at a movie theater, if it can't stfu and leave everyone alone, then you should stay at home.
pretty sure it's a manateejamez525 said:
OT:I also agree with OP, if a person annoys me i won't hang out woth them. Weather its their fault or not has nothing to do with it. If somebody was in a habit of doing something that annoyed me and it was due to a disorder i'd avoid them equally
I get where the OP is coming from. When I was in school there was this kid that you could hardly understand and he wasn't very bright. He'd wander the halls and hit on nearly every girl he saw and they'd all be "Awwww! Of course I'll be your girlfriend!" even though if he wasn't one of the special ed kids they would have had nothing to do with him and probably been revolted at the fact that he even looked at them.
.. I have ADHD/Tourettes/Aspergers.. So thanks for tellin' me that
"this is actually less of a problem for the truly disabled, who in my experience tend to be reserved and uninvolved outside of their usual circle of close friends, but is certainly a problem for those with the more subtle "disorders," like that aspergers thing or ADHD. People who, ironically, are utterly lacking in subtlety. People who are tactless. People who have irritating habits. People who simply can't seem to pick up on physiological and social hints that get most of us by. I don't like these people, but to suggest that in public (or God forbid I say to their face and someone catches wind!) and I get the fifth degree! I don't care if they're "nice people," or if "they don't really mean it," they're goddamn annoying and I will not be forced to like them by virtue of pity! I've even been told I just have to help them along and they're ok. Whatever. There happen to be plenty of folks that I don't have to make concessions for to talk to. It's not my responsibility to teach some idiot how to behave like a reasonable adult, nor do I have the patience or skill for it."
That's a very broad generalization.
You know normally I would just talk shit about you, but this is just sad that you have to think that all people with ADHD or Aspergers (Which is by the way spelled with a big A) are lacking subtlety and are tactless. so I'm gonna just leave this post knowing that atleast I'm not judging other people or being as stupid as you.
"this is actually less of a problem for the truly disabled, who in my experience tend to be reserved and uninvolved outside of their usual circle of close friends, but is certainly a problem for those with the more subtle "disorders," like that aspergers thing or ADHD. People who, ironically, are utterly lacking in subtlety. People who are tactless. People who have irritating habits. People who simply can't seem to pick up on physiological and social hints that get most of us by. I don't like these people, but to suggest that in public (or God forbid I say to their face and someone catches wind!) and I get the fifth degree! I don't care if they're "nice people," or if "they don't really mean it," they're goddamn annoying and I will not be forced to like them by virtue of pity! I've even been told I just have to help them along and they're ok. Whatever. There happen to be plenty of folks that I don't have to make concessions for to talk to. It's not my responsibility to teach some idiot how to behave like a reasonable adult, nor do I have the patience or skill for it."
That's a very broad generalization.
You know normally I would just talk shit about you, but this is just sad that you have to think that all people with ADHD or Aspergers (Which is by the way spelled with a big A) are lacking subtlety and are tactless. so I'm gonna just leave this post knowing that atleast I'm not judging other people or being as stupid as you.