Do you believe in love?

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bruunwald

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Feb 26, 2010
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People screw up. They make mistakes. Sometimes they fall out of love. Sometimes they lie about being in love in the first place. Sometimes they mistook something else they felt for love. Or maybe they were too young yet to know what it really was.

Yes, there are people married for fifty years who clearly at some point no longer loved each other, if they ever did. But your topic, dear OP, was not marriage. It was love. Marriage is an altogether different bag of tricks.

Love exists, as surely as my little boy exists. It may sound cliche, but if you ever have children, you will understand that love is real. And yes, there are many people, married or not, who still love each other after fifty years, to the point where they cannot last long when the other one dies.

I have been married for going on 12 years. I still love my wife. There are days when I am more loving, and days when I am less loving. But I still love her. It took a long time to learn the value of love and why it is worth working at. But it is.

My father did not love my mother much. Or me, I think. But my stepfather did. He has been around for thirty-five years now, and clearly still loves my mother. I didn't love him at all for a long time. But the truest test of the fact that love is real, is that over many years I went from deeply resenting my stepdad, to telling him I love him. And I do.
 

Doitpow

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Mar 18, 2009
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And if I may conjecture a further objection, love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened, the affection simply grows over time
Like a flower
Or a mushroom
Or a guinea pig
Or a vine
Or a sponge
Or bigotry
... or a banana

And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience
And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or... something
 

Kakujin

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Oct 19, 2008
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I really do believe in it. Just because something does not last throughout the ages of man does not mean that it is no less real, no less powerful or tangible, so yeah, I really do believe in love.
 

artanis_neravar

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Apr 18, 2011
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Yopaz said:
Then how do you explain people who fall in love sometime after they first met the person, once they start to know them on a personal level? There is a difference between attraction and love.
SageSteven said:
A life without love is terrible.

Love is like oxygen!

Love is a many splendored thing!

Love lifts us up were we belong!

All you need is love!



On a personal note, you'll know when you find love as I have. His warming smile is contagious and his warm embrace is all the comfort I need no matter how bad the day gets.
Very well put.
KaosuHamoni said:
RAKtheUndead said:
-Le snip-
Know what I think? I think you're trollin'
Not unless he's been trolling in every form the exact same way. I'm pretty sure this is actually how he feels.
 

googleboy

Lost in Space
Jul 27, 2009
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Love is a choice. Love is choosing to accept your partner as they are, flaws and all. Love is what is left, when the chemical infatuation of attraction has died away after two or three months. If you believe in friendship you must believe in love because love is friendship, partnership and affection rolled into one.

To the OP, love undoubtedly exists. It may well be the result of the brain rationalizing its own behavior and desire, but that makes it no less a thing. Like poster number 3, I too have seen people physically die of heartbreak. If you have never been in love, you won't understand this, but I will say it anyway. Once you have been in love and been loved in return you truly know happiness, acceptance and respect; until then you can only think you know what they are.
 

sergnb

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Mar 12, 2011
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I believe it is a strong biological reaction that is generated in order to perpetuate the species.

Then again, there's the whole "friendship" stuff. I consider love just strong friendship + sexual attraction. And that wouldn't be explained as a mere biological reaction to perpetuate the species, since it's arbitrary and it be generated by either males or females, regardless of your sex.

So, my final answer would be, dunno. I am still to experience true "love" too, so that adds to the whole thing.
 

OmniscientOstrich

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Jan 6, 2011
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Now, where's that clip...ah! Here it is:


Believe me, I'm very much a pessimist and a cynical individual, but I do believe in love. I think too many people here are equating the question with finding a 'true love' as it were, though I believe in that as well. Love is not something you can control, it has no logic to guide it, it simply is. A feeling that stems from within that will either blossom into something beautiful or wither into ashes, but that just comes with the territory. Of whether I'll find anyone to love me I'm highly doubtful, but I certainly do think that it exists.
 

motyr

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May 24, 2010
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Jacco said:
Elderly people who have been married 40 or 50 years will tell you straight up they are glad their spouse died because they were just so sick of being around them ALL THE TIME.
That's the worst kind of generalization.

OT: I completely and truly believe in love and the power of love. I'm sorry to hear you're jaded or cynical, I know I was at one point too. Saying "you'll just know" what love is when it happens is the kind of statement that aggravated me...until it actually happened. I am completely and utterly infatuated with the person I'm in love with, and that's all that matters to me. I can only hope you have the same luck as I have had.
 

Genericjim101

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Jan 7, 2011
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Tizzmarelda said:
Genericjim101 said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V32g3CwDHzg John C McGinley as Dr Cox summed it up nicely : D. Love is often one of the great exceptions to most cynical people.
I'm about to spend the rest of the day watching sad scrubs moments on youtube. I'm going to be a wreck by the end of this, I hope your happy.

Love does exist, I don't know what it is but I know life is pointless without it.
This is something I've spent the past few hours doing but not just the sad ones XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8kp6XNflDg "Mr Steele, first name man of"
 
Dec 27, 2010
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Nope. I believe in infatuation, affection and lust, but not "true" love. And no, I have never considered myself to be in it, but I don't really want to be in a position where I think I am.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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artanis_neravar said:
Yopaz said:
Then how do you explain people who fall in love sometime after they first met the person, once they start to know them on a personal level? There is a difference between attraction and love.
SageSteven said:
A life without love is terrible.

Love is like oxygen!

Love is a many splendored thing!

Love lifts us up were we belong!

All you need is love!



On a personal note, you'll know when you find love as I have. His warming smile is contagious and his warm embrace is all the comfort I need no matter how bad the day gets.
Very well put.
KaosuHamoni said:
RAKtheUndead said:
-Le snip-
Know what I think? I think you're trollin'
Not unless he's been trolling in every form the exact same way. I'm pretty sure this is actually how he feels.
The post you quotes was not a post where I said love is a piece of bullshit and isn't real. I was simply explaining the substances that is in our bodies, the basics of smelling and the modern hypothesis around it.
However I will try to give you an educated guess of why these things happen.
Can you remember a kind of food you didn't like when you were a kid, but you like now? Our impressions aren't always permanent. As we live our lives things change, both physically and chemically. I will go deeper into this in my next point.

Did you read the part that certain substances such as birth control may inhibit our ability to smell these substances? There's certainly a possibility other substances we aren't aware of can change it too. There's also the possibility that diet can change not only our impression of these smells, but also change the smell itself.

Cats signal smell over long distances, a cat in heat can be picked up by another cat miles away. As soon as she is satisfied her smell will change and seem somewhat repugnant to the cat who will detach himself from her. However he got an interest in the kittens since those are his DNA and will in many cases return to the female to check on the kids. This is usually not appreciated by the female however.

In short however, can I explain it? No. All the things I said in the post you quoted was not my words, but words referring to several studies on the subject. Love is no doubt a chemical reaction, but does that mean it's not real? No. Pain is a combination of electric and chemical reactions too and nobody denies that pain is real. Love and pain are both two important sensations of our lives. Both are valuable to make sure we actually do live. That doesn't change the fact that they're chemical reactions. I'm not saying it's fake.

Also you reminded me that there's a difference between love and attraction. You need to know there's a difference between love and affection. There's also a difference between love and infatuation.
 

A Weakgeek

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Feb 3, 2011
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Not in the poetic love, the "true" love as some call it. But as long as people say there is love, then there kinda is. I don't know if love has a real definition, if its just very strong affection towards another, or something more specific. But what I dont understand is that why everyone is talking as if love is something only felt in relationships. To me that is the most "biased" love there is, because of things like sex, and social acceptanse may drive people into making up these kind of feelings. To me love between friends or a person and his pet ( I dont own a pet, so don't start call me biased) is much more pure, since its more unconditional.

But what do I know, I'm a loner who hasn't met a "girl of his dreams" mayby I'm all wrong, mayby I haven't really felt anything like people in happy relationships have. Mayby I'm bitter and think that because I'm trying to protect myself. But as a human being, where I stand now, I feel there is noway I could feel so strongly for any girl in the longrun that I feel for my family or friends.

TL:DR Bros before ho's, to put it shortly

PS: For all you think of me, dont think of me as a person like some on this forum, people who deny other peoples feelings because of themselves getting hurt and therefore not believing in them. I have some confidence issues, but I do feel myself to be above that.
 

similar.squirrel

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Mar 28, 2009
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RAKtheUndead said:
KaosuHamoni said:
RAKtheUndead said:
Love is a disgusting, malefic cankersore on the human species. It is among the most foul and horrific things imaginable, a punishment which gives one the mere illusion of happiness, when really, all that exists within the emotion is pain. I believe in it the same way I believe in war, chaos and death.
Why? Give me a reason, RAK, aside from the evident self-pity, to believe that you are incapable of changing, and then maybe I'll leave you to your hateful posts.
Romantic love, as far as I understand it, requires infatuation. I've felt infatuation. It was the single most painful experience I have ever had, a sensation which felt like poison seeping through my body. I would rather have every single other pain that I have experienced inflicted on me all at once than experience another second of infatuation. That is why I am incapable of changing, because my mind and my endocrine system have different ways of telling me what should be good for me, and they conflict in such a way as to make agonising pain. I don't want to experience love if it requires infatuation, and yet, I cannot have these feelings removed from me. I carry a deep longing, and yet, to satisfy it would destroy me.
I think you're going to be one of those people who cries after they lose their virginity.
 

Ignatz_Zwakh

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Sep 3, 2010
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I sometimes doubt it does. In fact, I often do. But without it, I think I'd most likely lose the will to do anything at all.
 

RubyT

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Sep 3, 2009
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Of course love exists.

It doesn't matter that it's just a bio-chemical reaction in the brain.

It also doesn't matter that it's rarely permanent.

Love doesn't have to be fairydust.

Sometimes it feels like The Escapist is the single most teenage-angsty community out there, including Emo-forums.
 

Baby Tea

Just Ask Frankie
Sep 18, 2008
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Jacco said:
What do you think? Am I right? Wrong? Why?
You're wrong.
My parents have been happily married for over 35 years, and either one would be utterly crushed if anything happened to the other. My grandparents were married quite happily until their passing, and I myself am married. I love my wife. It's not a mere chemical reaction, because I love her even when she annoys me. I love her when we argue, I love her when we don't. I love her because of all her virtues, and despite all her faults. And she feels the same for me.

But that's just romantic love! I also move my family! And my close friends as well! My best friend has been my friend since childhood. I love him like a brother. He's got a wonderful wife he loves, and whom I love like a sister. He's got two beautiful children, both of whom I love like my own. I would give my life for them, my family, and my wife in a heart-beat.

I can't rationalize it away with chemical reactions, and I can't even try t be cynical about it. It's the foundation for my relationships, my morality, my theology, and my philosophy. I couldn't imagine my life having worth without it, and my life cannot be worthless with it.

It's love.
It's real.
 

A Weakgeek

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Feb 3, 2011
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*Warning* Over dramatic post incoming
RAKtheUndead said:
Love is a disgusting, malefic cankersore on the human species. It is among the most foul and horrific things imaginable, a punishment which gives one the mere illusion of happiness, when really, all that exists within the emotion is pain. I believe in it the same way I believe in war, chaos and death.
You know RAK, as I'm writing this I really dont know why I'm doing this, but prehaps because of spending my evening thinking about the existence of love has left me over dramatic and sensitive.

Whenever you post something like this you get flak, alot of it. People say they pity you, get pissed off because of what you say, but few also agree on what you say. But you know what i feel? Fear. (I said this was going to be dramatic) As an insecure teenager, what I see in your posts is what I may also become. It is obvious that you have been hurt, what way? I don't know and thats why I feel I have no right to judge you. But what I see is how you have chosen to cope with it. You deny feelings because they did not work for you, and you seem even more bitter for it. I'm afraid that something will happen that will make me do the same. Say all women are worthless because i cant get a girl or say that all relationships fail because mine did.

You are who you are, and cope with things as you choose to. You also have a right to express yourself like everyone else and I respect that. I say this so you know that I'm not attacking you. That was not my point. As I said earlyer, I don't know why I'm opening up like this and to be honest I have no idea what kind of response I'm going to get.

*End post*